Has it already started so early?

[Barbarella2019]

So my 10year old dd was told this morning by a 13 year old boy at the park to "shut up bitch" because she dared to say she was better than him at some sports. She is very sporty and self confident..
I was thinking of a good come back phrase when this came from her mouth directly to the boy: you shut up please, you are just trying to undermine me but it doesn't work!
OMG 😲
I was so happy 😁 initially but then I thought I should teach her to be humble? The boy was rude though...and afterwards she was upset... so I feel justified to think she did the right thing.

Why do I always feel that as a girl she shouldn't show such attitude? I am so torn here. Tell me that I am wrong....

So the boy was out for a kickabout and a catch-up with his mates. Your DD tried to gatecrash the game uninvited - even though she was 10 and didn't know these boys. They didn't want her to play but she persisted , (maybe because she has been told that she can do what she likes as she is "awesome".)

She won't go away and when asked to. She tells the boy that she's better than him at football. In front of his mates.

No wonder he got pissed off. No he shouldn't have used the word he did but she should have kept out of what didn't concern her.

He started it by saying she shouldn't join in as she wasn't good at football though and he didn't even know her?
Other boys same size as DD also joined but weren't told anything? Dd is quite tall for her age

I would be mortified if that was my son who had said that

Painted horizons
Many kids joined in. All boys though... my neighbors son was with us and knew them so him and DD joined too.
And actually I had bought this kid and his friend ice cream before hand when this had not happened yet as they had walked up to the ice cream van with us chatting to my neighbors son and then said they didn't have money.... and I duly paid for them

What difference does it make that the boys know your neighbour's child? They don't know your dd.

Hold on. let me see if I have the story right. She went to join in a game. One of the older boys unprovoked (except that a girl joined the game), she was rubbish, not very good whatever.

She retaliated as 10 year olds often do, that she was better than him. I could possibly hear the attitude coming from her when she said it. He then decided to tell her to shut up and polished it off with a 'bitch'.

Question: Was this before or after she proved she was better than him.

Then she told him off for trying to belittle her?

If that is the turn of events. Seems completely reasonable responses in both instances based upon her age "I'm better than you" and influences (blah di blah, belittle me, blah di blah feminist schtick).

It's not nice that someone calls her a bitch at 10, but at that age revelled in the insult because I knew, I had bettered whomever had called me it. (I was a little miss know it all feminist at 10 too). Not exactly endearing, but for everything else that hapepend and continues to happen in my life, I'm stronger for it.

Hope that helps.

Might be better to let them see how good she is rather than showing off.

To be perfectly honest I don't think either of them covered themselves in glory here.

peacheachpearplum
To show it then she should be given the chance to join in. The boy had told her she couldn't join... chicken and egg...

Faultymain5
I think you are right... she looked shocked that somebody who didn't even know her would have that conception about her!

You didn't say he stopped her playing just that he called her a bitch.

Boasting is unpleasant but it's not abusive. In fact, it's only in the UK that it's considered to be arrogant, in other countries it's considered fine. In fact we are always as adult women being told to play up our strengths. And maybe she really is better at sport than the boy is!

Calling someone a bitch is abusive.

And a 13 year old should be able to deal with a 10 year old saying something they don't like regardless of sex.

I say well done to OP's daughter.

Post at 16:48:

He started it by saying she shouldn't join in as she wasn't good at football though and he didn't even know her?
Other boys same size as DD also joined but weren't told anything? Dd is quite tall for her age

Claiming to be better than someone else (a very specific someone else) is not playing up your strengths, it's showing off and it's not fine, namechange
Op, I don't know why you're making such a drama about two 13 year old boys playing football at a park and not wanting an unknown 10 year old girl crashing in.
None of us are welcome everywhere, it's a fact of life.
I imagine a 13 year old boy would have received much the same response if he'd tried to join two 10 year old girls.

itstimeforanamechange

Thanks ... this is how I see it... no need to use abusive language to put down a girl!

Somebody at work once told me that women don't get good pay rises or promotions as much as men as they feel they cannot boast and need to please and be nice all the times!

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar
You are commenting without reading the thread.

No, I'm not. They boys knew your neighbour's child, they didn't know yours.

It's a local park and many kids were joining in... they all know each other through school/ church. This is why I know he's 13 and I bought him ice cream...
my daughter was the only one told not to join because she was rubbish even before starting playing?

I know it's kids but at that age I wouldn't have dared used that language or even known it.
And I don't blame his parents for exposing him to that... I think social media and YouTube does that very well.
On a positive note for modern television programs for kids..DD said she had heard what she replied on telly ... not sure which sit comedy though!

I disagree that most gendered swearing is about male genitals. Plenty of them exist for females too such as pussy, cunt, twat, douche, and even the fact that the word girl or woman itself is used in a derogatory way.

SundayGirls

What suddens me is that after all the facade and bravery she was upset and decided not to play. So the boy won after all?
Is this that I am teaching her, that if a man makes a rude comment and puts her down she should graciously back off and be grateful she didn't get punched in the face?

Wow! So calling someone a bitch is ok now. And boys doing it to girls is excusable because girls shouldn’t defend themselves.

OP- I’m with you. Hopefully the general misogyny of society won’t crush her spirit. If it was my DD I would be raging