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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband requiring "full assistance" in the mornings?

999 replies

questi0n · 16/04/2018 07:56

My husband told me last night that he will "require full assistance" to get out in the morning as he has some important meetings etc. He often says things like this and I don't take much notice. I have 3 DC to get out to school as it is. Last night I put everything by the door for him, keys, phone headphones and some documents I "must not let him forget". I even hung his suit out and put his shoes by the door because I can't be doing with him asking me where Particular items are in the morning. Only for him to get up and have a flap because no, he's actually cycling to the meetings and apparently wanted a bag packed Confused.

Wouldn't you think that if you could see someone was dealing with 3 children in the mornings, you wouldn't add to the general rush and stress everyone out by shouting ridiculous questions and demands about things you could easily do yourself? This is a man who employs hundreds of people, by the way. Does anyone else have this kind of issue with their husband?

OP posts:
Achafi · 16/04/2018 08:13

No I don't have thia issues with my dh because he's not a pompous bellend

FluffyWuffy100 · 16/04/2018 08:13

Oh my god did you marry a five year old?!?

dogsdinnerlady · 16/04/2018 08:14

There was a thread on here last week about strategically incompetent DHs. The idiots are everywhere.

GnotherGnu · 16/04/2018 08:14

So what was he doing last night that he couldn't pack his bag and sort out his keys etc for himself?

If my husband came out with this one I'd fall about laughing at him. Really, that's what you should have done consistently rather than just ignoring him.

However, as you haven't, what you need now is to have a conversation where you tell him he will be getting zero assistance because (a) he's an adult and (b) you have more than enough to do. And, for a few evenings at least, remind him in good time that he needs to sort all his stuff out because you won't be doing it for him.

SurfnTerfFantasticmissfoxy · 16/04/2018 08:15

Oh and also - my 10 and 6 year old sons get their own clothes out, get dressed, teeth and hair brushed, beds made and eat their breakfast, coats and shoes on all by themselves of a morning and they are not the most organised of kids. If they can do it then he bloody well can. How can you bring yourself to shag such a useless specimen??

Counter27 · 16/04/2018 08:16

What a complete knob jockey.

I don't think I could keep a straight face if DH said that to me. Your DH sounds like something from a sketch show. Definition of man child!

Blit · 16/04/2018 08:16

He's ridiculous and you're weird for doing it.

ememem84 · 16/04/2018 08:16

Nope. Dh has, so far this morning, got out of bed before his alarm (like a good boy), made me a cup of tea (gold star), fed the cat (gold star from her too), changed baby’s nappy and has managed somehow to get him self showered dressed and off to work like a big boy.

I didn’t give him directions to the office though so he’ll probably get lost....bad wife. 😉

HappyintheHills · 16/04/2018 08:16

So two of the DC are teens and therefore need less assistance but DH still needs full assistance?
And full assistance requires the use of your fortune tellers ball?
He can’t manage himself but has charge of hundreds of people?
As others have said, you get what you train them to do, well done on the teen DC, now apply the same principles to DH Grin

IAmMatty · 16/04/2018 08:17

Actually there was a full thread about these men whose lives are enabled by women; does anyone have a I can't remember what it was called?

OP you should definitely have a read of it!

Makingworkwork · 16/04/2018 08:17

Sounds like he thinks his wife is one of his 100s of employees.

I am completely shocked by his story.

Mrsmadevans · 16/04/2018 08:17

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Yogagirl123 · 16/04/2018 08:18

@ corlan. Haha I was thinking the same! 😆

LakieLady · 16/04/2018 08:18

Tell him to get himself an handmaiden. What an absolute bellend.

StellaHeyStella · 16/04/2018 08:18

Another one here who thought DH must be disabled from the thread title, I can't add much else to pp comments and I'm still laughing at some of them.
I think you should be offering to hold his todger when he has a piss in the mornings though op.

AjasLipstick · 16/04/2018 08:19

My TEN year old doesn't get this! My DH would never ask!

Someone once said to me "Aw...don't you make DH a packed lunch for work?"

And I said "Does he make me one? NOPE!" he wouldn't expect one! We sort our own lunches out ffs.

Ryder63 · 16/04/2018 08:19

He's a pompous twat. Stop pandering to him. If he can adult at work, he can adult at home.

AnneProtheroe · 16/04/2018 08:19

Was waiting for someone to suggest him being on the spectrum. Hmm

MrsBertBibby · 16/04/2018 08:19

this is such weird/demanding/entitled behaviour , l am wondering if your DH has undiagnosed Aspergers or is on the Autistic spectrum.

Fuck off.

Steala · 16/04/2018 08:19

OP, I'm sorry you've ended up in this situation. Was it a slippery slope starting from you wanting to do something nice? I can see how it happens.

I'm a bit concerned about your comment that two DC are in secondary school. It's irrelevant how busy you are. You could be sitting around on MN for all it matters. He is not treating you with the respect you deserve. If he is capable of doing things for himself, he absolutely should, or perhaps ask you for a favour on days that unexpectedly go awry. To demand it in advance is belittling, not just because of the way he treats you but because of the whole drama of man going out to work, all hands on deck for the hero.

Mydoghatesthebath · 16/04/2018 08:20

Laughing as I thought full assistance was going to b rude.

Op seriously just laugh at him. He must be a nightmare at work. Tell him to get a bloody grip

Slartybartfast · 16/04/2018 08:20

are you his PA?
is he confused?
jeez

IAmMumWho · 16/04/2018 08:22

Lazy ass!

Tell him your not his mother your his wife.
He is the one that need to make sure he has everything ready for when he leaves in the morning xx

NowToWork · 16/04/2018 08:22

I don't have this problem and my DH has one of these very "responsible" jobs.

Tbfair maybe my quotes are unfair as he's under pressure but then again he's not performing surgery..

Being kind your DH sounds overwhelmed and needing to regroup himself a bit.

Find a quieter time for him and be blunt but unemotional in saying that you can't be at his assistant in that way and be at his beck and call with 3 kids to manage. It simply isn't feasible and he needs a new solo approach to dealing with mornings.

expatinscotland · 16/04/2018 08:22

'In all seriousness this is such weird/demanding/entitled behaviour , l am wondering if your DH has undiagnosed Aspergers or is on the Autistic spectrum.'

Having autism (it does not require a capital letter) is not Twat Syndrome. Hmm

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