to think that the term 'making love' for a 3 year old is ridiculous

[ginplease8383]

DD3 was looking out of the window today and 2 pigeons on our garden fence started mating. DD piped up and asked what they were doing and I replied that they were play fighting (not thinking that this sort of discussion is appropriate for a 3 year old). DH pipes up that the pigeons are 'making love'. I shot him a look and later told him that he wasn't to say that again or anything like it again until she was much older. He disagreed that it was inappropriate to which I said Id give nursery his number to tell him its not when she starts repeating it at nursery.

AIBU and a bit sensitive or not?

Having a special cuddle is a term I would have used with children.

I would say mating. I think you waaaaay overreacted. I don’t think nursery would be disturbed that your child knows how birds make babies. It’s just part of life.

Absolutely ridiculous to suggest we have the highest rate of teenage pregnancies in Europe because we dont teach our kids early enough. What age are they taught in schools now, 7? what on earth would change things if they were taught earlier. What bollocks. Im not in the mood for the stupidity of it all. I'm actually shocked by some of the comments. Only on mumsnet. Meanwhile in the real world i don't know one single person who shows such eagerness to teach 3 year olds about sex. I'm gone.

Bye then.

I didn't show eagerness to teach my kids.
As I said, my eldest never asked (so therefore is completely innocent of such things at 19)

My twins asked every question under the sun so I answered them honestly and age appropriately. (And they're probably shagging down an alley right now on their way home from school at 13 )

My youngest asked loads last year at 9, so I told him in an honest and age appropriate way, which was obviously more detailed than what I told my then 3 year olds.

As far as I can tell most of my friends have been the same - open and honest about bodies, their functions, what animals are up to etc. in a way that is age appropriate.

And that's the key- explaining it to them in a way they understand. I'm not sure what you think we're doing - showing our kids porn or something? No, we just explain in basic terms - mating, making babies, special seed/egg etc.

Are you one of these people who can't say the word S.E.X?

@ButternutCrinkleFries I must admit I don't know for sure what shagging pigeons actually look like in action and no doubt kids of a certain age will challenge more and need a proper answer, but I think anyone could sell 'cuddling'/fighting/playing to a toddler quite easily!

I'm a bit bemused by biscuitraider's attitude.

No one is raring to teach children about sex. I don't think I know anyone who can't wait for those conversations. But as the subject arises - as with the love making pigeons the op saw, then is the opportunity to give an age appropriate but honest answer.

Telling a child about sex doesn't make them rush out to have sex immediately. It gives them an idea of what is going on with natural body functions, and later on makes sure that they only do such a thing with full knowledge, and are less likely to be taken advantage of, or pushed into something they're not ready for. I'd strongly suggest that it is more likely to make sure that when they finally do such a thing, they are more likely to use protection, and be responsible about it.

This idea that sex ed makes kids have sex is something that ought to have died out generations ago. I remember it when I was at school - girls being pulled out of sex ed, as their parents felt they ought only to be told on their wedding night - if then!

Waiting until young people are sexually active is a bad idea - it's too late by then. You have to speak to them before they are sexually active.

And yes, they do get sex ed in junior school, around 7 or 8, I think my DD had it. But again, it's age appropriate - I went and viewed the videos myself. It's basic facts, and includes info on relationships & pressure, etc. Sex ed continues up through school - each time at a correct level for this age.

So at what age do you think information should be given, and what level of information?

I’m bemused too. Quite a strop! And as for sex Ed at 7. That’s bollocks. Dd is almost 10 and will only get told about the anatomy and function of the female body next year.

If I told my 3 year old they were having a special cuddle he'd say how? they don't have arms

Special cuddle i really dont like. I heard sonething similar on a SVU or CSI episode and would never ever use it.

Mating sounds right to me. My aunt is so very over protective of my cousin, she still insists people pretend to her that Santa is real. Its ludicrious. My cousin is immature for her age and doesnt have a clue about most things. My aunt desperately tried to stop me breastfeeding around her as it wasnt appropriate. She is 13.

Missing the point but am I the only person here who has never seen birds making love? I've never really thought about it before but is it missionary, doggy or on the wing?

i think some have sex mid flight...adventurous buggers.

@Hohofortherobbers the seagulls and pigeons around here do it "doggy" (or birdy?). The seagulls flap their wings and shout. Show-offs.