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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that the term 'making love' for a 3 year old is ridiculous

187 replies

ginplease8383 · 15/04/2018 18:43

DD3 was looking out of the window today and 2 pigeons on our garden fence started mating. DD piped up and asked what they were doing and I replied that they were play fighting (not thinking that this sort of discussion is appropriate for a 3 year old). DH pipes up that the pigeons are 'making love'. I shot him a look and later told him that he wasn't to say that again or anything like it again until she was much older. He disagreed that it was inappropriate to which I said Id give nursery his number to tell him its not when she starts repeating it at nursery.

AIBU and a bit sensitive or not?

OP posts:
Ryder63 · 15/04/2018 19:17

Or did the pidgeon run kisses up his mates neck before giving her a back rub, ending with nipple stimulation and oral sex?

Now have pictures of pigeons in my mind I cannot unsee Grin

Vitalogy · 15/04/2018 19:19

I think making baby pigeon is the best response, if you say mating, the next question will be "what's mating"

flowerslemonade · 15/04/2018 19:21

apparently pigeons mate for life, didn't know that

boxyfingo · 15/04/2018 19:22

The pigeons that are having a shagathon in my garden this week are anything but loving. They are frenzied, flapping madly and it all seems quite violent - maybe your pigeons are a bit more civilised!!

ButchyRestingFace · 15/04/2018 19:22

apparently pigeons mate for life, didn't know that

Birds generally are very devoted, faithful creatures.

Could teach some humans a trick or two...even pigeons.

GnotherGnu · 15/04/2018 19:23

If you start telling your child that mating equates to play fighting, I hate to think what will happen when he starts play fighting in nursery.

EasterBunBun · 15/04/2018 19:23

‘ Procreating, darling’

Their attempt to say that should divert attention from the hot pigeon action for a while.

CuboidalSlipshoddy · 15/04/2018 19:24

Makin' Love.

flowerslemonade · 15/04/2018 19:24

Butchy apart from the bit where it says that as part of the courtship ritual one of them vomits in the other's mouth? :( ugh.

flowerslemonade · 15/04/2018 19:25

Unless someone has edited Wikipedia for a 'laugh'

missbonita · 15/04/2018 19:25

They were mating and that is what you should have said.

Life is confusing enough.

I went on a Manatee tour in the florida everglade last year and the imbeciles running it told everyone - adults included - that 2 manatees were 'play fighting' too which I retorted - "No, they are mating"

He then told me that people didn't want their children informed of such things at which point everyone on the boat turned around and told him he was an idiot, basically.

They were play fighting or making love. They were mating. Do you think theres suddenly a magical age at which it is easy to tell kids about sex? There isn't, it'll get more awkward and weird.

DairyisClosed · 15/04/2018 19:28

So you lied to her and didn't expect him to correct you? And he then corrected you but said making love instead of mating or making baby birds? Make sure that the primary school you choose for your DD offers a good sex Ed program.

Mydoghatesthebath · 15/04/2018 19:33

Meh you don’t need to answer every toddler question with thr truth and no 3 year old would understand mating anyway. Ffs.

Our kids managed to enjoy their teenage years with the opposite sex, some have kids some don’t snd all are pretty normal adults who didn’t need mummy and daddy to jump onto any inane question with w full blown honest educative answer.

Ffs my kids thought the dog could talk until they were at least 8 Wink and my 4 year old dgs thinks the rat who scampers around the local train station is the animal rat guard for mouse children going to school.

Let them be children good grief

ChaosAndPiss · 15/04/2018 19:33

Nobody is saying she should go into detail about the (not so) private life of the pigeons. Just not lie.

If my son asked and I said mating he would indeed ask what mating meant and I'd answer that question too. I'd tell him they were trying to make baby pigeons.

He probably wouldn't ask anything else after that because he has his answer.

Most 3 year olds want a quick 2 or 3 word answer and then they go off to play.

ALongHardWinter · 15/04/2018 19:34

What's wrong with saying they were mating? Animals don't make love!

cinnamontoast · 15/04/2018 19:34

So you lied to her

The child is three years old, for heaven's sake! When they're that age, it's up to the parent to decide what they do and don't want to tell them. There are many reasons to lie to your (very young) children, ranging from Father Christmas, to can't-be-arsed-to-explain, to protecting them from something unpleasant on the news. Obviously, with older children it's different.

OP, I think it's entirely up to you what you tell your DD about shagging pigeon's and if you think your DH's language was wrong you are perfectly entitled to tell him so.

veggiethrower · 15/04/2018 19:34

The correct term is "mating".
The child may well then ask what that is - then you could say "making baby pigeons".

"Making love" is hideous. Had a boyfriend once who said "making love" all the time. Made my skin crawl. He would ask "Do you want to make love tonight?" No, fuck off.

PigletJohn · 15/04/2018 19:34

Homing (racing) pigeons will fly hundreds of miles to get back to their partner.

So perhaps it is love.

Mydoghatesthebath · 15/04/2018 19:35

make sure the school you send your dd has a good sex Ed progrsmmr

What a truly depressing post. Seriously at 4??? Get a grip

cinnamontoast · 15/04/2018 19:35

*shagging pigeons, obvs. Apologies for the errant comma.

cinnamontoast · 15/04/2018 19:38

And I have to say, often the children of relentless truth-tellers are utterly unbearable, prattling on about penises, vaginas etc to all and sundry. As someone else said, let them be children.

Mydoghatesthebath · 15/04/2018 19:38

Of course people lie to children!! Father Christmas, easier bunny? Don’t you talk fairies and pixies and make animals and birds talk?? Maybe it’s just us.

Making baby pigeons!! Ffs

Dancingleopard · 15/04/2018 19:38

‘Making love’ is horrible and makes me want to vom in my mouth.

Mydoghatesthebath · 15/04/2018 19:38

cinnamon

Spot on it’s gross

Juells · 15/04/2018 19:39

Pigeons have no concept of love. They're bastards.

Well said!