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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that the term 'making love' for a 3 year old is ridiculous

187 replies

ginplease8383 · 15/04/2018 18:43

DD3 was looking out of the window today and 2 pigeons on our garden fence started mating. DD piped up and asked what they were doing and I replied that they were play fighting (not thinking that this sort of discussion is appropriate for a 3 year old). DH pipes up that the pigeons are 'making love'. I shot him a look and later told him that he wasn't to say that again or anything like it again until she was much older. He disagreed that it was inappropriate to which I said Id give nursery his number to tell him its not when she starts repeating it at nursery.

AIBU and a bit sensitive or not?

OP posts:
Idontdowindows · 15/04/2018 19:40

Making love is silly, but there's nothing wrong with telling him that the pigeons were making baby pigeons.

memememum · 15/04/2018 19:40

Making love isn't a phrase I'd use, but I have been answering questions and giving information about facts of life to my dcs since they started asking (2/3).
I would really dread having to tell them now they are more embarrassed by bodies and bits rather than when they simply took things in a matter of fact way.

Pengggwn · 15/04/2018 19:42

I'm with you. I don't think 3 year olds need to know about pigeon sex.

PussGirl · 15/04/2018 19:42

Egging - that's what my mum would've said to me.

I'd say mating.

helen650 · 15/04/2018 19:44

Bit of rumpy pumpy always suffices here 😂

SweetMoon · 15/04/2018 19:45

Only on mn do people think 3 year olds should know what having sex is Hmm

I'd have just said playing. A 3 year old does not need to know the facts of life ffs.

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 15/04/2018 19:46

hehehe when I was pregnant with DD1 my ex said 'well now youre pregnant maybe we should say making love rather than fucking' I laughed my hole off.

When someone says 'making love' I think of candlelight and Marvin Gaye crooning 'lets get it on' in the background

Fuckoffunicorn · 15/04/2018 19:47

God I tell my 2 year old anything she asks. She looked at me oddly when she asked what tampax where the other day but seemed to accept it. I don’t want there to be secrets about bodies and sex

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 15/04/2018 19:49

my kids asked about sex at ages 3/4 because of other children. I went science-y and started with gametes and zygotes. They got bored after 5 mins.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 15/04/2018 19:49

Birds generally are very devoted, faithful creatures.

Then despite the vomit inducing sound of it maybe making love isn't so far from the truth Smile

NotSureThisIsWhatIWant · 15/04/2018 19:50

What’s wrong with using mating?

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 15/04/2018 19:54

A 3 year old does not need to know the facts of life ffs

I think saying that animals are mating was pretty standard when I was a kid.

Since the facts of life are well...the facts of life, I usually think a factual, age appropriate response is best.

Seeing and referring animals mating isn't wrong, weird or inappropriate for any age. Most children who grow up around animals - on a farm for example - know that they mate and have babies.

I'm all for preserving the innocence and magic of childhood, but treating simple reproduction as something that threatens innocence is very strange.

"Making love' is awful obviously. I expect he was trying to say the right thing and said the completely wrong, yucky thing Grin

Original poster
ginplease8383 · 15/04/2018 19:56

The term 'making love' makes my skin crawl! Id rather he'd have said 'making baby pigeons' or 'mating' but definitely not 'making love' yuck.

I didn't feel that it was appropriate for a 3 year old to know about sex/mating/fucking whatever! Another parenting minefield it seems to me!

OP posts:
Haffdonga · 15/04/2018 19:59

I'm with your dh on this one although I'd say mating not making lurve .

What better introduction to the birds and the bees than ... birds?

steppemum · 15/04/2018 20:00

nothing wrong with simple accurate facts for children of any age.

The pigeons are mating.
What's that?
well, its what they do to get baby bords. they mate, then the mummy lays the eggs and they hatch into baby birds.

Making love is awful for an animal and incorrect anyway.
To say play fighting because you don't want simple truth, even though it is happening in front of her eyes is also wierd.

Original poster
ginplease8383 · 15/04/2018 20:00

Thanks to all of you that felt the need to be a bit twatty and sarky in your posts, totally not necessary - bloody hell mumsnet!

OP posts:
Ontopofthesunset · 15/04/2018 20:02

But three year olds are trying to understand the world and lots of small children with younger siblings will have asked about where babies come from and seen pregnant women and asked how the baby got inside.

If you answer factually with 'mating', they may ask what that means, and you say something like 'making baby pigeons' or 'it's what they need to do so the mummy pigeon can lay eggs'. Three year olds know about chicks and eggs. But after one or two questions they will have reached the limit of what they want to know now and will be off doing something else.

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 15/04/2018 20:04

I didn't feel that it was appropriate for a 3 year old to know about sex/mating/fucking whatever

But they're all pretty different in terms of how we present them to our children, aren't they?

I'm very happy to talk to my 3 year old about animals mating in an age appropriate way and answer her questions - again in a way that is appropriate.

The rest? Of course not. I'm not going to talk about 'sex' but I'll happily say, 'Those animals are mating. It's so they can have a baby.'

NotTakenUsername · 15/04/2018 20:05

Actual view from outside ops window today

to think that the term 'making love' for a 3 year old is ridiculous
NellythePink · 15/04/2018 20:07

I think I would have just said 'haha look at them being silly' and then offered a distraction. 'Making love' is rank

EB123 · 15/04/2018 20:08

Making love is a such a toe curling phrase.

At that age I would say making baby pigeons, it's hardly something to be embarrassed about and is age appropriate.

Oysterbabe · 15/04/2018 20:12

Why shouldn't 3 year olds know about sex in a very basic way? It's just a normal part of life not some terrible sordid secret.

Catspaws · 15/04/2018 20:16

Making love is a weird term but your DH is NBU to say what it was. Aw appropriate education about sex basically can't start too young.

Catspaws · 15/04/2018 20:16

*age appropriate

MallorieArcher · 15/04/2018 20:19

We have parrots that are very loving (read-sex maniacs) and they are older than dds.
When they start up they make such a racket there isn't much you can do to distract, so we just told them they were trying to make a baby, and that we'd have to watch for eggs.
Making love is better than DH shouting 'STOP FUCKING SHAGGING FOR 5 MINUTES WE'RE TRYING TO EAT'

(Which we'd boil because they're also brother and sister and we had 2 clutches of birds with 'issues' before we realised...)