to think that the term 'making love' for a 3 year old is ridiculous

[ginplease8383]

DD3 was looking out of the window today and 2 pigeons on our garden fence started mating. DD piped up and asked what they were doing and I replied that they were play fighting (not thinking that this sort of discussion is appropriate for a 3 year old). DH pipes up that the pigeons are 'making love'. I shot him a look and later told him that he wasn't to say that again or anything like it again until she was much older. He disagreed that it was inappropriate to which I said Id give nursery his number to tell him its not when she starts repeating it at nursery.

AIBU and a bit sensitive or not?

Posted too soon,DH shouted that when DD was tiny, we forgot we now had a small person in the house

Why do you think it's "inappropriate"?

Making love is 🤮

I think it would have been better to tell the truth simply because she may never ask you again and have registered this. But in the scheme of things, no biggie.

FWIW, I started talking to dd about pregancy and babies maybe at about 4/5 when she asked questions. But it was very simplistic language such as a special space inside a mummy’s tummy, a bit like a nest for the baby to grow. Now at 9, she knows about sex mainly because another child told her in a crude way so I explained it to her in a more appropriate way. If you’re up front and honest, children will accept a lot. I do agree with a pp that some parents do tell children far too much. Rather like the kid, who told dd. He was a year younger and going round spouting about PIV to all and sundry.

Are you sure he didn't say

"They're mating, love"

You're being ridiculous. Children are curious about sex, and it's all right that they ask questions. You should tell them the truth in age-appropriate ways.

I don't think your husband's answer was bad.

affectionate

Oh, and if your daughter goes to the nursery and talks about pigeons making love - that's sweet, I'd think.

You come across as a pearl-clutcher, to be honest.

My 3 year old knows how IVF works 😂

If you ask him how babies are made he says mummy jabs herself with lots of needles and then I go to my friends house and mummy goes to hospital and the doctor puts the baby in mummy's tummy. 😂

It depends. We're the playing Sade and getting down to it on a fur rug?

Gruffalo

Your love is king! seeetest taboo

The more I read about pigeons the more I like them... the male does a little dance for the female, he piroeuttes towards her emitting quiet noises (courtship ritual).

I know a lot of people who hate pigeons but I always thought they seemed quite nice birds.

“Making love” while a hideous phrase for it is way more reasonable than lying and saying play fighting.

I’d have said that’s how they make baby pigeons. You know, the truth. Which is closer to what your husband did.

So for me YABU.

Op "play fighting" was a perfectly adequate explanation for a 3 year old. Anything more would probably only confuse. It's the sort of thing of thing i'd have said to mine. "Making love" or anything similar would be ridiculous. I've never heard a 3 year old yet come out with that kind of stuff, i'd think it'd sound odd from a little tot., but obviously if parents insist in using that kind of talk they will repeat it.

No wonder kids seem to be old beyond their years these days, parents thinking they have to explain everything to them when there's really no need, probably to blame.

YABU

Butchy apart from the bit where it says that as part of the courtship ritual one of them vomits in the other's mouth? sad ugh.

It's not "vomiting".

They regurgitate food for each other. How do you think mother birds feed their young?

And, legend has it, the way mother humans used to feed their young back in the pre-liquidiser days of the stone tablet.

The more delicate among you should never get a budgie. If they don't have a mate, the wee buggers will sit "feeding" their mirror for half the day instead.

I’d have chickened out with “having a cuddle “

let them be children they don’t stop being children if they have knowledge cinnamontoast but a lack of knowledge does make them even more vulnerable.

No it doesn't at 3 year old. There won't be any comprehension. How would being told about "mating" make them less vulnerable at that age. They're far to young to understand and take it in. There's a right age to teach kids the facts of life, it's not 3 year old, simply because it's beyond their comprehension. They're barely out of the womb fgs.

It most certainly is not beyond their comprehension at 3. Most 3 year olds are curious about everything.

Pigeons have no concept of love. They're bastards.

We have two pigeons that twaddle around the garden. See them together all the time. They are very much committed. See them get twigs and have a nest in my tree. They are no harm.

I like watching them pass my window together. Think you are on about city pigeons really.

I'd just say they were larking about.

Yes they're curious about stuff but that doesn't mean they'd comprehend it. That's because they're 3. Why overload them with stuff that's too hard to understand. Absolutely no need. . What's the point telling them stuff they have absolutely no need to know. It serves no purpose whatsoever.

You explain things to three year olds in a way three year olds comprehend. That way they learn...

I assume he felt put on the spot and blurted it out. An unusual turn of phrase to use, of course.

I think the real issue is your unreasonable and controlling behaviour.

told him that he wasn't to say that again or anything like it again until she was much older.

I told my 7 year old 2 frogs were “piggybacking” last week in the garden . Until 8 year old piped up with “actually mummy, they’re mating”. Then reeled off a bunch of facts! Had to act interested and like I didn’t have a clue and thought they were piggybacking.

I would have said making baby pigeons. "Fighting" is a lie and "making love" is just weird when talking to a 3 year old about pigeons.