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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that the term 'making love' for a 3 year old is ridiculous

187 replies

ginplease8383 · 15/04/2018 18:43

DD3 was looking out of the window today and 2 pigeons on our garden fence started mating. DD piped up and asked what they were doing and I replied that they were play fighting (not thinking that this sort of discussion is appropriate for a 3 year old). DH pipes up that the pigeons are 'making love'. I shot him a look and later told him that he wasn't to say that again or anything like it again until she was much older. He disagreed that it was inappropriate to which I said Id give nursery his number to tell him its not when she starts repeating it at nursery.

AIBU and a bit sensitive or not?

OP posts:
Graphista · 15/04/2018 18:59

And why "much older"? At what age do you think sex ed should start?

I suspect he knows you're uptight about this stuff and said "making love" as an attempt to consider that.

Are you aware she could well hit puberty in 6/7 years?

tigerrun · 15/04/2018 19:00

Mating, making babies - basically anything but 'making love' Envy (not envy). I genuinely don't think I could find a man attractive who used the phrase 'making love', it's proper creepy & utterly meaningless in a literal sense. Does he say 'hey darling, let's make luuuurrrrrvvee' Envy (again not envy, just bleurrggghh).

Llanali · 15/04/2018 19:01

The phrase he chose is twee, but better than your concept of ignoring all together !

isthismummy · 15/04/2018 19:01

Making love was a daft thing to say, but I can see what he was trying to do.

I think saying they were mating to make baby pigeons would have been more appropriate. I don't think that's a response that needs to wait until DD is "much older"

kaytee87 · 15/04/2018 19:02

Weird of you to say they were play fighting, weird to say that pigeons were making love.
What's wrong with saying that they were mating?

isthismummy · 15/04/2018 19:03

My parents always used to deflect me if I asked anything to do with sex. It just used to confuse me even more. Age appropriate honesty is the best policy...

biscuitraider · 15/04/2018 19:04

Of course you're right op. How weird that people think it's fine that a 3 year old needs to learn about that. No need and much too young. I hate the phrase too for any age.

ButchyRestingFace · 15/04/2018 19:06

I used to refer to my pet birds as 'sucking face' - is that acceptable?
already knows the answer

TheJoyOfSox · 15/04/2018 19:06

Special cuddles, in this case I might have said “special bird cuddles”. At 3 he doesn’t needs all the ins and outs of it (pun intended)

Making love is a ridiculous choice of words for animals mating!! Your DH would have been better to use Mating as the correct terminology. Or did the pidgeon run kisses up his mates neck before giving her a back rub, ending with nipple stimulation and oral sex?

ChaosAndPiss · 15/04/2018 19:06

Weird that a 3 year old should learn about nature?

My 3 year old loves learning about nature.

ChaosAndPiss · 15/04/2018 19:08

Oh god. Special cuddles 🤢

HermioneWeasley · 15/04/2018 19:09

You’re both ridiculous

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece · 15/04/2018 19:10

I cannot possibly understand why you think ignoring it is the right thing to do? You don’t have to be graphic but there is nothing wrong with age appropriate discussions on these topics. It’s absolutely ridiculous to hide away.

And later told him that he wasn't to say that again or anything like it again until she was much older is stupid. He’s her parent aswell, you need to do these discussions together but you can’t bloody ban him ffs

CircleofWillis · 15/04/2018 19:10

I’m inclined to go too far in the other direction. My four year old DD held up her cut finger and loudly announced it must be having a period... in a very quiet restaurant.

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece · 15/04/2018 19:10

Special Bird Cuddles?!

Jesus christ

boxyfingo · 15/04/2018 19:10

I think what you said was pretty good for a quick reply...and 100% better than your DH's explanation which has made my toes curl Grin

StokesNave · 15/04/2018 19:11

Does he say “panties” too?

LTB.

Snappymcsnappy · 15/04/2018 19:12

Hmm, I would have probably said play fighting also.
Or maybe making baby pigeons..
Not sure which really, the term 'making love' is ridiculous.
love and sex are two totally different things!

Mydoghatesthebath · 15/04/2018 19:12

You are both ridiculous. She’s 3!

‘What are thry doing?’

‘Playing’ ffs making love, making baby pigeons, play fighting?? What are people on shes 3

NorbertTheDragon · 15/04/2018 19:13

Too young to learn about mating?

All the OP or her OH had to say was that the pigeons were mating/making baby pigeons. They didn't have to go into the whole how's and whys of it all.

Personally I preferred to tell my kids the truth rather than make up silly things about what animals were doing.

Mine asked how babies were made at that age as they had a baby brother so I told them in basic terms. (I have never said making love though. Rumpy pumpy is a much better phrase. Wink)

biscuitraider · 15/04/2018 19:13

3 year old is practically still a baby, of course it's weird. What's the bloody rush.

PlumsGalore · 15/04/2018 19:13

I would have said making eggs probably. An easier Von spot yo understand. DS knew the basic facts of life about four, because he asked absolutely everything and I answered factually but without unnecessary detail.

Mydoghatesthebath · 15/04/2018 19:14

speciel bird cuddies dear lord

NorbertTheDragon · 15/04/2018 19:15

How can birds cuddle with no arms?

Poor birds. Sad

Lovemusic33 · 15/04/2018 19:16

Your both wrong. If a child asks a question then you should answer it, not with a lie. The pigeons were mating (making baby pigeons), they were not play fighting or making love. Surely it’s best to just tell the truth?