Dh ordering medication online

[meadowposy]

I've found out about it because he's doing it through my name.

I don't know what to think about it and I'm asking here... Are these sites always dodgy? I can't talk to him about it as he tells me to be quiet and I don't know what I am talking about.

What do you think is going to happen if you don't do anything?

I don't know. I'm scared

Can I say one thing to you OP and let me say that this comes from MY OWN personal experience.

SS look at thing in the most black and white way that you probably cannot even conceive of. They will not care that he takes his dodgily procured drugs in a locked room. They will not care that he isn't forcing you or the kids to take them. They will not care that he isn't on illegal drugs. They will not care about any of these things that you are currently putting forward as mitigating (minimising) circumstances.

None of what you describe are bone fide mitigations, they are risks.

Let me tell you from personal experience what will come up in family court/CAFCASS/social workers/child protection meetings. Two things will come up.

Firstly.
ANY TIME your husband is at home alone with the children the following will be written for all the world to see about YOU: "Left the children with a known drug user".

Secondly.
Your complete and total (at this stage) denial about the seriousness of it all, every aspect, will be a hammer blow to how SS will view you. They will view you at not competent in understanding the gravity of the situation and that view will, whether you realise it or not, be one of the most MASSIVE strikes against you. Massive.

If you even feel for a second that your addressing this matter would cause your husband to commit suicide then he is holding it over you even if not deliberately because it's causing you to have total inertia over this whole matter!

Let me tell you about addicts. They all think they are in control (they aren't). They all think they are managing it (they aren't). They don't give a shit if they take you or children down with them.

OP I'll try and answer your factual questions.

Surprisingly it isn't illegal to import drugs which are prescription only in the UK, as long as they're not controlled drugs (class A, B or C). The government is currently analysing the results of a public consultation on whether to reclassify Pregabalin and gabapentin as class C drugs. All the benzodiazepines, including diazepam, are class C already.

There are several websites which will sell you the drugs if you can provide a prescription.

There are some websites which will sell you the drugs following an online consultation with one of their own doctors

There are a few websites which will sell you the real thing without any prescription (these are based abroad). However these sites won't supply controlled drugs to the UK.

There are MANY websites that will sell you something with the same name as the drug you want, but God knows what's in them. Many of the tablets supplied turn out to be not what they say they are, but something even more dangerous.

It depends which site your DH is using. If you know and want to pm me, I'll give you a heads up.

It is only legal to obtain these drugs for the use of self or very close family, but that assumes that they are used responsibly. If anything happened to DH and the inquest found that you had ordered the drugs, you couldn't prove completely (even though he pays you back) that you weren't complicit in his death.

Hi meadow,
you took the words right out of my mouth: you are scared.
the fear has made you freeze, (flight, fright or freeze) and that is why you dont know what to do.
Try and break it down. You are scared he might kill himself (probably won't but Might) if it comes out about addiction. If he does, that is not your responsibility. It will be his choice, just as his addiction is his choice.
Ask yourself, do you want to be in this situation? I don't think you do.
You have the power to change it. In fact only you do at this moment.
Changing it is very scary, but there are lots of people who will help you, because it is not your fault.
If you are ill, it doesn't mean your children are taken away from you.

I would be scared in your position as well. I would be most scared about the harm it is doing to my children and the potential harm it could do to my children when I got caught.

I wouldn't be giving a shiny shit about the addict swallowing, snorting or injecting it. He is an adult. they are children. they cant just pack a bag and walk out.

You cannot fix him. but you can fix yourself and your children. you wont have nothing. you wont have the material things in life that you have now but you will have food, somewhere to live and most of all you wont be being controlled and coerced by a junkie and you wont be living in fear of when he gets caught out at work or he harms someone.

stop believing his utter crap. he does not have this under control, in no way shape or form. He doesn't care about you. what person makes someone else lie about a medical condition to get drugs for them, or drive being sick to get drugs for them. or shouts at them and belittles them.

why is he so much more important to you than your children? why? because he earns the money and you don't? why?

Im seconding the views of both @DoinItForTheKids and @TheDevilMadeMeDoIt.

from the second you became aware of drug use you are complicit in child abuse. Do I think youre a horrible mum who doesnt care about her kids? No. I really dont. As pointed out, SS are not going to care about this.

Prescriptions are ridiculously easy to get hold of under an EU Directive that means cross border prescriptions fall under freedom of services through e-phamrmacies and telemedicine.

Youre in hospital and Im sorry that you are unwell, but when you are out of this situation you have the chance to speak to people. You could even phrase it as a hypothetical situation.

I think you know the answers already. Just make one call.

If dh had the medication prescribed be wouldn't be a drug user would he

thedevilmademedoit - what if the H is writing his own prescriptions?

meadowposy - for goodness sake, re-read this post.

you only get prescribed medication if you need it for a medical condition.

who writes his prescriptions for the websites?

He wouldn't get these drugs prescribed and he knows it. Why would he need to get you involved otherwise?

You're clutching at straws here.

will you stop trying to justify it?

Do you want this situation to continue ?

OP is social care involved?

What I don't understand is why he's this terrible drug addict and ss would take the kids but if he was prescribed them he wouldn't

No, seal

nope ilovesooty not clutching at straws, just minimising aiding and abetting.

and when it goes to court she will be the first person throwing up her hands in horror saying "what else could I do?"

those with SS experience and knowledge have put it in the starkest way possible. Complicit.

A heroin user has methodone prescribed to them. They are still drug users.

because he wouldn't be prescribed them because the only illness he has is that he is an addict.

these are seriously strong drugs given to seriously ill people. Not a bottles of bloody calpol.

But he wouldn't be prescribed them. He's an addict and as far as SS would look at it you would be deemed to be knowingly putting your children at risk by enabling him.

I know but someone prescribed an opiate isn't

Of course you are scared! This is scary shit. Plus you are sick and your husband has all the power. You’re dependent on an addict.

I know allthe stuff we are saying is overwhelming. You’re obviously on here because you want something to change. So why not start with the thing you can control - you!

See a counselor. Go to al-anon (I presume there is a drug addiction equivalent). Call the Samaritan’s, even. Just talk about all of this. Then if you really still can’t face this, well, no harm done. You are no worse off. Just take the baby step.

You sound at the end of your tether but so, so weak (I don’t mean that to be critical, honestly.). You need to start building yourself up.

Can you tell us what has led to you being in hospital? Obviousiy if you are dealing with debilitating, or long-term, or incurable illness then thst complicates things.

It's a terrible situation to be in, but what exactly do you think will happen if you do nothing?

My guess is that your DH will just get more and more addicted until he becomes unable to work or falls down dead. He won't stop taking these medications without help. Addicts don't stop without help. Please don't kid yourself. It will be ugly even if you do nothing. At least if you do something now, you'll have some control over what happens.

@meadowposy, yes he would. If you take any type of medication you are using drugs. This really seems to be semantics.

Is he abusing drugs? Thats a different question. I can go to five different chemists and get 5 packs of solpadeine and take them all in one go. Am I using drugs? Yes. Am I abusing them? Yes I am.

If I were prescribed Lyrica (ironically I am) and take it as per prescription, am I using drugs? Yes. Am I abusing them? No.

Your husband is abusing drugs. Hes potentially endangering many people. He is abusing you by this suicide thing. You will look back one day and realise that it is a form of abuse.

Ask yourself the hard questions and reach out to someone- as I said, anonymously if needs be and get the advice you need. :(

He's an addict because his drug use is having a detrimental effect on those around him. Directly and indirectly through his profession.

Like him, you will only seek help when you hit rock bottom.

Good luck, and i wish your children the very best of luck. I feel very very sorry for them, that those whose job it is to protect them and keep them safe are trying to justify how these actions are normal.