Dh ordering medication online

[meadowposy]

I've found out about it because he's doing it through my name.

I don't know what to think about it and I'm asking here... Are these sites always dodgy? I can't talk to him about it as he tells me to be quiet and I don't know what I am talking about.

Mummy no, not at all. Family friend left utterly stuffed financially as well as emotionally when her DH took his own life and left her with four kids, she had been a SAHM and held on to the house only because family and friends rallied around.

she wont stop this bumshkawahwah. he gets shouty if she does and she will do anything to keep the peace.

she drove him around to several chemists whilst on holiday ffs again just so he wouldn't be cross.

Zebrano - parents never ever seem to realise that being addicts affects their children not just at the time but years and years on. glad the counselling helped and that you have become stronger because of it.

If you carry on as you are, you may have an OD on your conscience. This kind of drug use over long term - the mix of different counter-indicated substances - will kill him. Either because he cocks up the dosages, he under-estimates his tolerances or he causes himself permanent damage.

OP theres been a lot of really god advice on here, but you have to think of your kids.

If he's using you/your name and you know about it, you are responsible for this, even if you dont approve. When it all falls out of bed (which it will at some point) and it becomes apparent that through you inaction you were complicit, you are going to be facing a whole load of questions about your suitability as a parent and why you allowed them to stay in that situation.

I really feel for you, I think youre in a horrible situation, but once those questions start getting asked... no one is going to give a shit about you, theyll be looking for why you didnt do something.

Speak to someone confidentially, be it a solicitor or a doctor. Best of luck.

But Weezol a house is a material possession. and whilst it is good to have one especially if you have kids, is it more important than their health and wellbeing? I am truly sorry for your friends situation because suicide impacts those left behind massively.

but the OP's H is using it as the stick to beat her with. just like all addicts do.

If he does because of his actions that's one thing but if he dies because of mine how could I live? Can people not see that?

You don’t deserve this life op, neither do your kids.
Your dh is hurting you all.
You shouldnt have to deal with this op.

"I just genuinely am terrified I will have a suicide on my conscience

And when you have the death of one his patients on your conscience instead...?"

Or one of your children? Why are you prioritising him over your children? Don't they matter? Don't you care?

If he carries on with the drug taking he might die anyway - and you will have helped him by getting drugs for him. Would

Do you not have any friends or family?

If something happens to him it is NOT your fault, it’s his.

If he does because of his actions that's one thing but if he dies because of mine how could I live? Can people not see that?
But you do realise that when you agree to pretend you suffer from whatever pain so he can prescribe you the drugs he needs and then uses it for him, you are actually killing him slowly?

luxury.rehabs.com/family-member-support-guide/

OP, seek help. Coming here was a first step, you now need to take the next one. Are you likely to be discharged from hospital soon?

What sites is he buying them from? what meds is he ordering and is he prescribed these anyway, why is he buying them online if he could get them from his GP.

No I can't see it quite honestly. Your failure to take any action is putting him at risk but because you aren't actually doing anything it's easier to come to terms with your conscience.

Op if your DH is a doctor you can access help by contacting PHP if he lives in relevant areas, or the affiliated GP health if he is a GP anywhere in the country

php.nhs.uk/what-is-the-practitioner-health-programme/accessing-services/

Or if that doesn't apply look at the options listed on this BMA page

www.bma.org.uk/advice/work-life-support/your-wellbeing/sources-of-support

If he will accept help, then he may well be supported to continue in his career, I know doctors with addictions who have been supported to continue in their careers as long as they engage with treatments. If he won't accept help then frankly he shouldn't be working in a position of responsibility and you and your DC need to protect yourself from him.

At the moment he is putting his patients at risk as he will be cognitively compromised by his addiction. Also driving on codeine slows his reaction times, he will be criminally responsible if he injures somebody whilst driving impaired by codeine. Also you and your children are in a stressful environment, your kids will be affected by this.

mummymeister you are extrapolating and flat out making up the stuff about the OP only caring about money in a really disgusting way. the OP is a horrible, abusive situation, and you know what doesnt help people in that situation? abusing them some more.
OP, i was a codeine addict. for about 10 years and for most of that time i told myself and my husband that wasn't a problem because I was working, the kids were fine, etc etc. Denial was a great place to live, until my kidneys started to pack up. I'm now 2 years clean, and whilst there are days when I would like nothing more than to use again, I don't. it took nearly dying to shock me into sorting myself out. You didn't do this. HE did. You are not at fault, and you need to protect yourself and your children. You know that. contact womens aid. they will help you.

What about when he gets you to lie to get drugs and then overdoses on them, is that not the same thing as him committing suicide? If he kills himself it would be because of his addiction not because of you. Ultimately he is killing himself slowly with all the drugs.

I’ve RTFT and honestly there’s nothing to add because you’re simply not willing to listen OP. He’s the addict and you’re his co-dependant. Out of experience, the only way the dynamic will ever change is by something truely awful happening.

What’s heartbreaking though is that you repeat over and over that you couldn’t live with HIS suicide on YOUR conscience. It’s all about you two isn’t it. Have you thought that maybe you’re already fucking up your kids lives by carrying on like this? I promise you, they know a hell of a lot more than you realise and you are going to ruin them if you haven’t already.

You’ve got a very harsh reality to face and I’m afraid it’s going to be even harsher when the catalyst drops.

If he does because of his actions that's one thing but if he dies because of mine how could I live? Can people not see that?

He is not going to die because of your action. He will die because of his own actions. He has fed you this bullshit lie when he is in one of his emotional/crying fazes and you are believing it. All of this, ALL OF THIS, has come about because he is a junkie. not you. him.

so what are you going to do then eh? when are you next going to feign an injury or depression so he gets a prescription? when are you next going to go far away from home so that you can visit a huge number of different chemists so he doesn't get recognised? You are enabling him to get drugs now so whats the difference? slow suicide through drug use that you are enabling! cant you see this?

OP Can I ask what your medical issues are?

No I don't know. All I know is if I tell someone it would get ugly.

You poor love.

If you are very ill in hospital, need rest and are vomiting, I'll take an educated guess at what it might be, but hope it isn't terminal.

I bet you don't care about the house, nanny, schools, holidays, cars or even your husband particularly. A suicide might even feel like a (complicated) relief. I bet you are numb and just wish you could go to sleep then wake up with it all sorted out. I bet you don't know where to start untangling everything. I bet you feel you have the weight of your children's wellbeing, the nanny and your husband's commitments all on your shoulders.

I bet it all seems insurmountable.

It takes a woman eight attempts to leave an abusive man, I think? An abusive addicted man would be even harder to leave as they are Class A Manipulators.

An anonymous service like Women's Aid or NarcoticsAnonymous might be a really good starting point. Begin by collecting information - knowledge is power and it will help to clear the fog. You will find you do have choices, though they will all probably feel like equally shitty choices to begin with.

Wishing you a speedy recovery so you can do what you need to do, OP.

Things must be getting near to crisis point if he had to go on holiday to use unfamiliar pharmacies. Are any of the children old enough to find this strange?

TheoriginalEmu I strongly suggest that you RTFT.

then you would see why the comments are valid. The OP wont leave because then she wont have the current lifestyle that she has. she has said as much herself further back in the thread.

we live in a civilised country with lots of support mechanisms. the OP chooses not to use them.

It will get uglier the longer you leave it before acting.

If he does because of his actions that's one thing but if he dies because of mine how could I live? Can people not see that?

That's your husbands addiction talking right there, relieving himself of any responsibility and putting it on someone else so guilts stops you taking action. Anything to keep the addiction going.

At the moment he is not getting the care and support he actually needs to stop this addiction.