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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For being peed off that shop assistant made dd say thank you beofre giving her her sweets

393 replies

twobabies · 12/05/2007 15:45

Hi All

I really would like to know if IABU or not, so dd is not yet two and only just started talking. She can say thank you (well she says cue but we know what she means .

We went to the shop today for her treat as she has done really well with her potty training this week and we promised her a little choccy bar. We walked down and when I let her choose she was so excited, picked one and we went to the till. The shop was packed so she had been holding it for about 5 mins before we got to the till then I took it of her for the lady to scan and dd had a small winge.

The shop lady then says to dd loudly "well if your going to be like that your not having it back until you say thank you" whilst holding it out to dd? I said she doesnt talk actually and dd is quite shy around strangers so I knew she wouldn't. The shop assistant just looked at dd and said "well are you going to say thank you" dd is now hiding in my legs looking at me really upset. I said to the woman look she isn't going to say thank you and she said "oh i'm not sure you really deserve this then" before handing it over to me.

I think the reason i'm upset is because dd was so excited as she hardly gets sweets/choccy at all and I really thought this witch had spoilt it and made it look like dd had no manners to everyone else in the shop.

Please tell me if i'm just being hormonal or if this woman is actually mad?

OP posts:
whomovedmychocolate · 13/05/2007 11:58

Actually I'm an anachronism. -well thats one word for it

Original poster
twobabies · 13/05/2007 12:05

Does the fact that I have no idea what anachronism actually means, mean that I really am working class

OP posts:
Judy1234 · 13/05/2007 12:10

It probably means your mother didn't use that word when speaking to you as mine did but I'm not sure if that's a class thing or not.

The lovely thing about the internet is you speak to people you might otherwise not and it helps break down barriers and aid understanding and as I am about to complete my tax return which is the most painful exercise in creation it's a welcome distraction.

foxybrown · 13/05/2007 12:10

no, it means that Xenia is vastly more intelligent and superior than you or I.

foxybrown · 13/05/2007 12:12

or does it just reinforce stereotypes and increase division?

Judy1234 · 13/05/2007 12:17

No, it doesn't at all. People are people.
Why am I superior? I certainly don't feel I am. Surely one of the most important bits of life is achieving close loving long term relationships and I'm divorced. I don't feel superior to anyone really. I'm a Catholic and think we're all equal but that doesn't stop me having views on issues like smacking children, tax law, pensions, war, women's rights etc and feeling free to express them.

cornsilk · 13/05/2007 12:19

'It probably means that your mother didn't use that word when speaking to you as mine did' !!!!!
Well why don't I know how to stay out of shoe shops then, because my dh is always going on about it.

foxybrown · 13/05/2007 12:24

As you said yesterday Xenia, "Becauyse only the working classes would think it right to make sweets a reward for children under 2 or complain about some poor shop assistant who was actually interested in manners"

so middle/upper/whichever you fall into don't and wouldn't?

Is that not reinforcing stereotypes and making sweeping generalisations?

Judy1234 · 13/05/2007 12:34

Some generalisations help eg if you're trying to increase breastfeeding rates and you find working class women do it less or eat worse or smoke more you can direct Government efforts at the sectors that need it.

Other generalisations aren't helpful.

madoldcatlady · 13/05/2007 12:43

I wonder if the working class girls who wait til 16 to have babies instead of having them at 14 like most of their friends consider themselves to be anachronisms?

whomovedmychocolate · 13/05/2007 12:46

Xenia - are you aware you are coming across a tad supercillious here? I'm sure you don't mean to. After all, baiting the chavs is so lower middle class

doyouwantfrieswiththat · 13/05/2007 12:54

chav baiting is lower middle class? bugger. I've bought the jodhpurs & everything

madoldcatlady · 13/05/2007 12:56

Chav baiting is so last season. It's toff baiting that's all the rage now you know!

Thanks for the entertainment Xenia.

No OP you were not being unreasonable. The shop woman was a twit.

Bye.

suejonez · 13/05/2007 12:59

how do you suggest we single mothers manage to not take our children shopping? As a matter of fact I hate shopping so if I have to sufer it, don't see why DS shouldn't have to suffer too And anyway leaving him home alone at 17 months would (I think) be frowned upon

suejonez · 13/05/2007 13:01

Xenia - you're right generalisations do help in some circumstances but generally when setting strategies to improve the percived problem, not particularly helpful when applied to an individual about a question which was not at all related to what you chose to answer.

bumperlicious · 13/05/2007 13:04

Suejonez, I totally understand that single parents have to take their children shopping, and there are all kinds of other circumstances when other parents have to do it too. My belief that parents should is more tongue in check than anything, and mainly because I can't imagine how people manage it without going insane! I don't even like shopping with girlfriends as I like to do things in my own time and way! Hope I didn't offend you!

Judy1234 · 13/05/2007 13:05

I'm a single mother, don't forget. I shop on line and try not to buy things if I can help it but I accept that doesn't work for many people.

I hate the word chav. It's awful. Like the last bastion of permitted discrimination - you can't say someone is dreadful because they're black or gay or female or disabled but you can go on about chavs. I think it's dreadful. But I don't think using the word working class and saying they tend to eat worse food for whatever reason and have obesity problems is the same thing at all.

suejonez · 13/05/2007 13:07

bumperlicious - if I was that easily offended I would have flounced form Mumsnet a LONG time ago!

I do find it amusing that a question about whether a shop assistant is rude or not has turned into a chocolate class war

Jennylee · 13/05/2007 13:07

it is the same thing, just using different words. stop backtracking

suejonez · 13/05/2007 13:09

I hate shopping online - you have to hang around waiting for ages, not to be recommended with a 17 month old and they usually charge you for delivery which I don't have the spare cash for. Besides my DS will have to grow up and live in the real world, I don't see that 40mins in Tesco once a week is such a problem myself.

foxybrown · 13/05/2007 13:12

My children were playing shops one day.

One pretended the doorbell had rung, the other called "the shoppings here".

Jennylee · 13/05/2007 13:13

Xenia re your other post, lol yes you really seem to be breaking down class barriers with your use of the internet, we all feel so warm and fluffy now having read your posts, in fact I feel the urge to hug a rich person ..right now

Jennylee · 13/05/2007 13:15

Xenia at 12;10

'The lovely thing about the internet is you speak to people you might otherwise not and it helps break down barriers and aid understanding '

I think we can stop worrying people she is clearly just trying to aid undestanding

Jennylee · 13/05/2007 13:16

understanding (working class so can't spell)

ScottishMummy · 13/05/2007 13:19

hello everyone i see queen xenia still dispensing her wisdom to all in MN kingdom

on the subject of svelete scots i hear the pussycat dolls were going
to record dont cha wish yer girlfriend was scottish like me but is was too XXXXX rated and racy