Another MIL one

[longhairdocare]

We live in London. A couple of Christmases ago SIL said she was coming to visit so we gave her DD (DN then aged 11) a homemade token for Christmas saying we'd take her into Top Shop Oxford St and buy her an outfit. She was ecstatic as SIL is a singlr mum and didn't have a lot of cash for fashion.

The trip never happened. SIL has a history of bring all talk and so after 6 months (on DN's birthday) I sent DN some money for an outfit alongside her birthday gift because I felt bad.

Months passed. DH lost his job (contract ended out of the blue) and we are now in a completely different situation to what we were. We aren't homeless or starving because we have savings but we're not sure what the future holds. DH's family know he has no job. I even mentioned that we may have to move because London house prices are ridiculous and our mortgage is steep...

...SO WHY THE FUCK HAS MIL HAS TURNED UP THIS WEEKEND WITH DN CLUTCHING HER TOKEN AND SAYING SHE'S COME TO CASH IT IN?

DN, now 13, is wanting some summer prom dress or something and we are expected to pay. It's not her fault. MIL is a bitch.

I'm not sure what to do. They have come on the train, nowhere else to stay, DIDN'T FUCKING TELL US, and think it is an hilarious prank. They expect to stay the night.

The train fare would have cost more than a bloody dress.

I'm going out and leaving DH to it.

Glad to hear about your dh. Thanks for the update,

Great news about your DH! Big weight off your mind. Admire how you dealt with CF mil I do like to see CFs get owned. My own mum was one until it backfired. She’d never worked, had no intention of working either. When us kids left school she said, “ now you’re both working you’ll need to give me your wages as my benefits have stopped.” We moved out
She had to get her shit together after that.

Great news! 😆

Good news!

Thanks all. Good for you Freddy!

DH is actually away at the moment but back today. I can breathe again, phew!

Good news!

I can't believe the childish way you acted towards your niece, a child! If you didn't have the money you could have just explained that to her and suggested you do something else while they were down. You are an adult and you should not be embarrassed explaining that to a child, or telling her she had already had her Gift. You could have gone window shopping tongive her an experience in London. Even if they did surprise you. You seem like quite a horribly self centred person and I dread to think what your niece was left thinking. You're done with your husbands family?! Sounds like they're better off without you acting like an immature child.

That's great news! What a massive relief.

Wow your inlaws sound toxic.

Glad he has his contract renewed, bet your mother in law is gloating !

wideawak Gosh, and breathe! It’s the weekend!

Congratulations OP. So many people fail recognise what being self employed really entails. Hope you can find some time to enjoy the sunshine with your DH.

Fantastic! I hope you're able to keep up your new boundaries.

Oh that’s brilliant news! I’m really pleased for you

great news! Watch out though as the MIL may think your in the money and surprise you with another visit!

Hello I’ve just joined mumsnet after having a baby 6 years ago. I’m sorry to talk on this thread of some other poor daughter in law victim (I feel for you) - I have a problem and I don’t know how to start a new thread.

My MIL is so bad, it ended up that my husband and I nearly split up and I nearly ended up really poorly due to my MIL.

It’s a long story but basically my husband is part of the family business and we live next door to her.

I need some advice. How do I stop her holding my child and trying to control her when we’re in a public area. I try to say come on let’s go but she just pulls her closer for a cuddle, she sees her regularly and it’s clearly done to undermine me and cause problems. I haven’t said to my child grandma is horrible to both mummy and daddy stay away but I’m getting close. I want her to just say hello and have a quick kiss and a cuddle but not cause problems like this especially at school. My MIL would love a scene!

My child starts to cry as she wants grandma. (I’ve tried to allow her to have a relationship with her grandchild despite how rude she is to me and my husband but it’s now coming back to bite me). It makes me feel so helpless and all out of control, I’ve come home and had another panic attack as I can’t get away as she’s physically holding my child.

She’s caused so many problems including barging in my house (after a year my husband finally stood up to her) and he feels just as frustrated. Do I have to start a literal tug of war over my daughter!

She’s so rude to me and my husband.

How can I manage my daughter to get her to move on and say goodbye to grandma?

Could you say "can I have MY daughter back now please we are leaving"

Any comments just repeat "now" firmly

That’s a good question!! Thank you. But she’d just do selective hearing and ignore me and everything I say like she always does. She’s beyond rude. I’ve never had to deal with someone so rude.

@Dayday0102 I suggest you go to the relationships section of the forum: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships as AIBU is quite a "robust" section, and you really shouldn't hijack someone else's thread, as it causes confusion with not knowing who the replies are to.

At the top of the list of threads, there's a bit that says "Start a new thread within this topic". Click on that, and write your post.

Hijack? Wow!

Yep I would agree with hijack

yes hijack. That's the word we use when you start your own thread on someone elses. You need to start your own thread as Motoko says. Just cut and paste what you wrote up there

Yes, hijack. I was trying to be helpful.

Also unfair on the OP and people following the thread who think there have been new replies