So what happens when you have nothing in common with dp & dc?

[whattheactualfuckery]

Away for a break with dh and 2 x ds. I've hated it and then, what the actual fuck do I do?

I've hated it and then(m) is what you wrote, so that's why people are saying that. Hating it and your time with them is obviously less catastrophic.

How long do you have left?

TBF 13 and 14yo children can be difficult to engage in ANYTHING.

You said ‘I’ve hated it, and them’ in your OP, which is what people have picked up on. I get that it was just frustration, but it is a very strong thing to say.

Must be awful. Is there a them and us dynamic, with only you on team ‘us’?

Agree hating my time with them is the same as hating them at this moment. But I do love and care for my boys, maybe not so much the partner

It is not clear what you are hating. What would you like to do. What do they like to do? You could join them. Or leave them to it and catch up for meal times and walks?
I am sure the boys have a great life but they also need a mum who accepts them for what they are, even if it’s just being teenagers.

That must be really hard OP could you have a couple of days on your own, give everyone some space?

Why do you hate your partner? You don’t have to go on holidays to entertain your kids. You can stay at home and do your thing and let them do theirs...

chery I feel I need to leave permanently. I do feel there's an us and her (me) going on

I hear you. It sounds as they are a team and you feel excluded.

There are 6 of us and I’ve always aimed for give and take, so the kids will wander round a gallery to humour me and I will hold their coats while they do whatever.
It seems they are leaving you out and that must feel lonely. You have, as they say, a DH problem. He should be insisting ‘let’s do what mum wants this morning,’ despite the inevitable moaning. Have you talked to him about how you feel?

Kosha we haven't been away for 2 years because I can't face or, thought this would be different but no

Can’t you see that the Op is distressed ? She’s unhappy and struggling to work out what the issue is . Stop taking the word “ hate “ so literally and piling on her please.

as if
Proofread velvet!

Are you sure you’re not encouraging the ‘us and them’ theme by resenting their relationship with their dad and showing jealousy/anger about it? If you don’t like DH you’re likely to show that and make them defensive, along with projecting your dislike for him onto them because they love him.

He’s their father and you chose him for them, they didn’t choose him. Don’t resent them for loving him, it’s just natural.

It sounds hard and lonely. Could you talk to dh a bit about how you are feeling? Do you think he is excluding you on purpose? point scoring?

What are the things they like doing that you do not?

It's okay to leave/divorce your husband if things just aren't working anymore. It's also okay if he's the resident parent because your boys seem to like hanging out with him more. If he ends up being the RP, that means you'll have more time to pursue the interests you used to have at the beginning of the relationship or before you met. There's nothing wrong with that. It's okay to leave.

No I def don't resent it, possibly jealous but nio resentment. I've bought up step children and I have an adult daughter I didn't feel like this about

Is there no hope you and your partner at all?

Have you told him how you feel?

You're their Stepmum, aren't you? As you said you used to slag off their mum for leaving them but you can understand why now. & your post sounds familiar. If this is the case and you dislike the children you've taised with your husband then you'd be best off away from them. If you don't like them they won't like you will they.

Teenagers can be very self centred and selfish. It’s very annoying if they are constantly gaming / on their phones but still expecting full domestic servicing.

And it’s worse if they have a selfish father who they are modelling themselves on.

Does your DH want to do stuff with you/ include you?

I’m sort of struggling to imagine this situation unless the things he suggests are different/separate to the things you suggest. Are you and DH a team?

No I am their mum, but brought up 3 step children now adults, who were left by their mother

OP could there be something else going on here? Depression? Menopause?