Softzilla: You play; you pay!

[Unreasonableunreasonableness]

Before you all get excited: no party yet (I was trying to keep when it was vague so more anonymous but i give up) . I have had a message from softzilla.
'So are we calm enough to sort this oot for tomorrow? '

'You sound loads calmer to me hun! Yep, I'll be there - I hear there are LOADS of people really looking forward to this party, haha. See you there xxx'

Ignore her. I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't show for the party.....

Party mum is right next to me as we speak. Friend 1 has seen the thread and messaged me 'no way. She didn't. ' I've screen shot the message to her.
Honestly I'm going for the ignore route. I've had a pretty rough day emotionally (which if she's thought at all she'll know) and I can't deal. I'd be pulling out of tomorrow if I wasn't so stubborn....

Op

I don't suppose there's room for a few extras at this party is there? Should you and friend need any mumsnet swat back up.

I'm imagining hearing, are you on glue and did you mean to be so rude
Echoing around the room. Closely followed by someone suggesting the
Far side of fuck cab company.

Ignore is the best policy. Both for you, and it will also drive her mad!

I'd be pulling out of tomorrow if I wasn't so stubborn....

You can't let her bully you out of anything!

We’re all behind you for tomorrow x

if party mum is with you..Tell her not to offer anything for free as she might be next on hit list.

She really is the gift that keeps on giving!

I would just mess with her and say: "yes if you are paying this time"

Thank goodness your other friends know the full story.

What does party friend suggest in terms of replying? You're damned if you do, damned if you don't as far as I can tell.

Oh, it'll be fine at the party. Anyone who knows already, knows that she's being odd and you're not, anyone who doesn't know will probably just be oblivious. And she will behave herself (ish) so long as there is an audience of her acquaintances.

Roll on tomorrow op - you will rock it!!

Sorry to hear you've had a rough day
But super glad you have party friend and friend one for back up. Honestly I don't think she'd bloody dare do anything. even she knows being batshit in front of everyone will only look bad for her. If you were anywhere near me I'm happy to be part of the mumsnet backup army.
Sending a shitload of

Sorry but I'm placemarking as this is the most excitement I have in my life at present ! Yep I'm being obnoxious and blatant but so what !

Party friend is supportive. She had said she'd totally understand if I didn't go (for reasons other than softzilla, there are some other mums I also now don't want to face). But she's also said that if I go I don't need to worry about anyone there. I suspect she is cooking up a plan of protection with friend 1 and friend 3 who also knows it all.

Just caught up all in one go!

Firstly, I’m sorry you’ve had a bad day

Secondly, you’ve dealt with this wlth a lot of dignity - keep your head held high, you’ve done absolutely nothing wrong! Your friends have your back, remind yourself of that if it kicks off.

I'll read this at work tomorrow.

I saw the first few posts of the original thread (but didn’t get up to the bit where Softzilla growled at the OP) so I hadn’t realised quite how batshit crazy Softzilla had become!

@Unreasonablenessunreasonableness - you have dealt with this with grace and good sense - shame she doesn’t have a fraction of your manners!

Wow what a loon only just caught up.

Schadenfreude I swear you are my bff in real life

Do what you need to do. If you go to prove a point to that Mum, when you really need to stay away for you, then she's won by controlling you anyway, hasn't she?

You and your real friends would know why you weren't there, and that's all that would matter.

How about just total deflection?
‘Just putting my feet up after getting the kids to bed, mad busy day today. Can’t wait for some shut-eye. See you Saturday xx’

OP - I hope she hasn't stirred other people up against you and that the wanting to avoid other mums is unrelated which sounds completely shitty but hopefully you get what I mean

She sounds unhinged and certainly not the sort of person you’d want as more than a passing acquaintance.

I’d be tempted to just be very direct with her, you’ve got nothing to lose. “Why do you think I should pay for your meal and soft play entrance?” “Why do you think this is normal?” “Why have you decided to single me out as the one who should be paying for you?”

I would text back and say “honestly, I can’t be arsed with your drama. Talk to me, don’t talk to me. I don’t really care. I have important stuff to deal with right now.”