Benefit cap/2 child rule

[exemption]

I know benefits it's a heavily debatable subject and I would like some honest opinions on my situation as I'm pretty sure it will be made public soon.

Background -
Was in a 6 year abusive relationship, sexual, physical, emotional, financial, you name it, he did it. I wasn't allowed contraception as he believed I may cheat - 3 pregnancies as a result (that was with sneaking a pill, obviously wasn't routined hence the babies)

Left when I was badly beaten at 7 months pregnant. Children and I stayed in a refuge and eventually was housed somewhere else.

Now I'm fully reliant on benefits for the first time in my life. I've had a letter through stating that I'm £53 over the benefit cap and therefore my benefits are being reduced. I'm also exempt from the 2 child rule which brings in that same amount.

I've written to my MP and he is going to raise it and investigate with HMRC.

That's great, he really wants to help. However I once again have to go and meet him and explain what happened/this situation again for him to build the strongest case for me. It's heartbreaking to keep going through.

Has anyone else been through this? AIBU to be scared of financial hardship and think that financially leaving my wealthy exH was an awful idea? I would never, ever return. But now my children are facing an even harder life because of this. I have so many financial commitments from before that I'm barely keeping up now.

Your ex should still be paying maintenance for his children.

Is it £53 per week? Per month? When was the 3rd child born?

He should be however he's flown off to America to avoid doing so. And now there's nothing I can do, because of that I'm also paying off our joint debts as he technically can't be found

And sorry that's per week

If you have loads of debts you need to go to citizens advice bureau, they can contact the creditors for you and ask for reduced payments

Can you not try and get a part time job as then you would not be having the benefit cap. You would get working tax credits to help pay for childcare. Well done for leaving your abusive relationship. X

Can you apply for a Discretionary Housing Payment?

I was under the impression the cap was for future children only, so children you already have won't be affected?

@happinessischocolate I've done that, all my interest has been frozen and I'm paying low amounts. However my exH had a lot of credit bought items, as did I so I'm honestly just scraping by as I'm lumbered with the lot

I don't get child tax for the youngest as she was born a month after the cut off. It's tough but rules are rules. Currently not working as I'm a carer for my disabled child.

With 3 children under 5 the childcare costs would leave me negative each month unfortunately. There's a cap on childcare too.

I'm a new benefit claimant so the rule applies, I am exempt however the benefit cap takes away that money

Sell the items ?

Yes, you need to get some proper debt advice. They can't take what you don't have. Don't be afraid to consider bankruptcy, if appropriate. It can be life changing in a positive way.

@PrettyLittIeThing I do get the money as I'm exempt from the rules. But another rule then takes it

You need to negotiate your debts. To have greater idea - how much do you get a month and what's your expenditure?

All items sold back to creditors where possible, all big items I've own were left behind when I fled so I had nothing but my car and a few items of clothing each

When you go to meet your MP, can you put everything down in a letter, in detail, beforehand, and then you can take it and explain you have written the history all down so you don't keep having to explain it all? You could also use the same letter for any other agencies.

Would it be better for you financially to be declared bankrupt?

Will you not be entitled to two and three year old funding?

This has absolutely nothing to do with the two child limit.
It’s the benefit cap, totally different.

Bankruptcy is an option that I'm considering. Hopefully my MP helps but if not the option won't be mine to make anyway I guess

@MyDcAreMarvel

I know. I'm saying how they are both affecting my case. One rule gives and says I'm exempt, another takes that money away.

You should apply for a Discretionary Housing Payment. I think with your circumstances you would have a strong case.

There's more information here:
england.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice/housing_benefit/discretionary_housing_payments_dhp

How much are you actually getting per week? If you are in London the benefit cap is £442 per week. That's quite a lot of money.

Yeh I read it wrong as I'm not sure what it has to do with the 2 child rule. Seems like it's just the benefit cap.