Benefit cap/2 child rule

[exemption]

I know benefits it's a heavily debatable subject and I would like some honest opinions on my situation as I'm pretty sure it will be made public soon.

Background -
Was in a 6 year abusive relationship, sexual, physical, emotional, financial, you name it, he did it. I wasn't allowed contraception as he believed I may cheat - 3 pregnancies as a result (that was with sneaking a pill, obviously wasn't routined hence the babies)

Left when I was badly beaten at 7 months pregnant. Children and I stayed in a refuge and eventually was housed somewhere else.

Now I'm fully reliant on benefits for the first time in my life. I've had a letter through stating that I'm £53 over the benefit cap and therefore my benefits are being reduced. I'm also exempt from the 2 child rule which brings in that same amount.

I've written to my MP and he is going to raise it and investigate with HMRC.

That's great, he really wants to help. However I once again have to go and meet him and explain what happened/this situation again for him to build the strongest case for me. It's heartbreaking to keep going through.

Has anyone else been through this? AIBU to be scared of financial hardship and think that financially leaving my wealthy exH was an awful idea? I would never, ever return. But now my children are facing an even harder life because of this. I have so many financial commitments from before that I'm barely keeping up now.

If you're planning to declare bankruptcy or apply for a DRO, the advice is to stop paying your debts, to free up money to pay the fees. It's also acceptable to spend a bit extra on food the store cupboard and freezer to give you a bit of breathing space.

My MP thinks I should also be exempt from the benefits cap. He's a conservative MP and strongly supports the 2 child limit and cap however he feels that one rule shouldn't take away the money I'm entitled to by another rule when it's all part of the same system.

I'm confused. Surely you are being capped because of the benefit cap and nothing to do with the 2 child rule unless your child was born after April 2017?

@BarbaraofSevillle That makes sense but I'm so scared of bailiffs turning up.

I can't have a male knock on my door without me knowing they are meant to be there. I've even had to write a not to the postman to leave all packages outside. The thought of a bailiff petrifies me. I know not all men will attack me, but it's a long process getting that fear to subside

Mygoditsfullofstars OP is exempt from the 2 child limit within the ‘rape’ clause.

@mygoditsfullofstars I am affected by the tax credit rule, my child was born after that. My MP has strongly supported my case, he said he didn't get into politics to deprive those who genuinely need help and I think my case actually has him questioning the cap and the 2 child rule. In all communication so far he comes across as feeling guilty, that may be put on for my benefit but he seems disgusted by the system right now

Have you tried to appeal the 2 child limit using the rape clause?

I can't have a male knock on my door without me knowing they are meant to be there. I've even had to write a not to the postman to leave all packages outside. The thought of a bailiff petrifies me. I know not all men will attack me, but it's a long process getting that fear to subside.

You have a strong argument for difficulty engaging for PIP. Honestly OP have a chat with a welfare rights advisor.

Earlier it sounded like you weren't affected by the tax credit rule but the more general benefit cap.

So you technically get the full amount in tax credits, but with other benefits adds up to more than the cap so then there is a reduction.

But it sounds like the issue is actually all about the debts. If you haven't got enough to live on because you're paying off debts, it's not a problem with the benefit cap itself it's a problem with the debts and it's the debts that need to be sorted out.

From a fellow Lone Parent also going through the financial burden of leaving a DV relationship, this is the hardest bit.

My finances are not as bad as yours because I managed to pay ExHs debts off before he assaulted me but I do have rent arrears, council tax arrears and a credit card to pay. My Support Worker from Women's Aid has been brilliant, she's been able to talk to companies on my behalf or instruct someone to help me with the mine field of it all. I'd suggest giving them a call. I found my local support line more helpful than the national one, if you google "county name women's aid" it should come up with your local branch. Women's Aid also work with other charities (or at least my local one does) like CAB, Stepchange and Family Lives who can all help with Maintenance and Debts.

My DD is also eating a lot of Turkey Dinosaurs and Pasta Shapes although I am now nearly 2 months free of ExH so am trying to be a bit of a better mother and cook for her.

@soulrider my problem is the the cap as of last week is taking away the money I was entitled to for my 3rd child.

I'm managing my debts, just about. But losing further money will push me over the edge. £50 a week is roughly what I have for food/life after all bills. That will now be going.

Yea without the debts my life would be amazingly easier, however I still don't understand why one rule give me £50 and another takes it away when it's all the same system

@mygoditsfullofstars I am affected by the tax credit rule, my child was born after that.
No you are not, you are affected by the benefit cap. Tax credits is approx £60 a week per child. The fact that you are losing £53 a week duecto the benefit cap is in no way connected to the two child rule.

@CatLadyToddlerMother

I'm glad to hear this is the hardest part. It's difficult seeing light at the end of the tunnel when you've only just entered it.

Turkey dinosaurs are fantastic, I often have a turkey dinosaur salad and I think it's great!

The rules are just a coincidence though. Are you able to work 16 hours a week?

@exemption

I hope things get better for you. Turkey Dinosaur salad sounds like my kind of meal . Are you yet registered at a doctors and have a health visitor for the children? My DDs HV has been brilliant and gave me healthy start vouchers and said I could have a food bank referral if I needed it. My best advice is to talk to everyone whose trying to help. Health Visitors, Social Workers and GPs are all bound by the laws of confidentiality so they shouldn't be able to tell your Ex where you and the children are.

@CatLadyToddlerMother I haven't heard of these vouchers. My HV comes over occasionally, I find it hard going out but I can manage it if I have to do I'll try and be better at seeing them. Doctors have been great, managed to get me help for my anxiety and depression very quickly.

Most people I meet are very helpful, benefit departments act like I'm trying to con their grandmother out of her life savings.

Dong pay the debts, and three letter the company’s. I could have written your post, and I did this, wiped out all my debt.

@exemption

Healthy Start vouchers are vouchers given to parents under 5 to buy fruit and vouchers with, they can be used at most major supermarkets. It says on the back where they can be "spent". It's only £5 a week per child I think, but it frees up some of the shopping/bills money for other things. You have to apply for them but DDs HV did all that for me and I just had to sign the form.

Should add you only get them if your on certain benefits. Think it's Income Support, JSA and Child Tax Credits.

beatthebailiffsandthebanks.co.uk/challengedca/4593724081

Join the Facebook group under the same name, they can help.

*fruit and vegetables

Don’t pay the debts*

@Lukesflannelshirt thank you! I'll have a look.

@CatLadyToddlerMother that would be amazing! I'll ask about those tomorrow for sure. My children go through fruit and veg at such a ridiculous speed so it would be very helpful!

mygoditsfullofstars it's not a lot of money if you're paying London rent out of it.

I don't think you are being capped because your third child is not eligible for tax credits as even if your third child was born before April 2017, the fact that you go over the benefit cap means that your benefits would be reduced because of the benefit cap. For example, if you had 3 kids all born before April 2017, live in London and were getting £500 per week, you would be capped at the benefit cap amount which is £442. This would happen regardless of when your 3rd child was born, so your not being capped because your 3rd child was born after April 2017. The benefit cap affects everyone who is getting more than £23k in benefits per year in London.

You have to wait for them to sell the debt on first, so if you choose to do it, cancel direct debits. Then wait and ignore all the warnings and demands until they say they’ve sold it on.