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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To insist to accompany dh to x ray results, possibly cancer

257 replies

Alicantine · 10/04/2018 00:48

I know it cannot possibly be a good news, but he wants to go on his own to hear the news and I am really upset at the thought.

Here is the background: The hospital rang this morning saying the doctor needed to speak to him urgently and he needs to be there tomorrow (well later today Tuesday 10th April) 3pm. He has had blood in his urine for months but only told me recently. As soon as he told me, I booked a gp appointment for him (about a month and a half ago). When he went the Gp said he needed some tests made and he made a referral. X ray tests were last Friday and they said he should expect the results within 7 to 10 days.
However, today Monday they called home several times (we were out) and we picked up the fourth call in the afternoon as soon as we came back. And they said "you need to come urgently tomorrow 3pm".

Am I right to think this can only be a bad news?

He is adamant he is going on his own, whereas I feel I need to be there.

Sorry for my syntax and order information I do not want to drip feed but I have tears just writing this as I love him so much and I am so scared of losing him

He's 39 and I'm 38. We've been married for 18 years. We have six children together that we love dearly. He is a great dad to them he has his own business and always manages to be there for them and help me with everything I need. I also run a different business and we've been doing great lately. Our relationship had had its fair share of us and downs, but I can honestly say that in all these years he's been my rock, and we haven't had nothing major in the past three years or so, if not more. We laugh, joke, and talk every day, and we always make sure we both know how much we count for the other one.

I believe it would be scandalous for him to go on a test results appointment like this without his wife. But at the same I want to respect his wishes and not upset him. I just don't know what to do to help him right now. If anyone has been in a similar situation or could advise me it'd be great.

I read testimonials of people preparing themselves to attend a cancer test results appointment and most of them say they were happy that someone was there with them, to ask the questions they didn't think about... I told him and he was like "I'm not like everyone, I want to go on my own" :(. What should I do?

OP posts:
Kezzamo · 22/05/2018 08:18

Good luck op. So hoping it's good news, or at least the best news in the situation x

Doccc · 22/05/2018 08:20

Good luck

WipsGlitter · 22/05/2018 08:23

Good luck. I am going through something similar with DH and it's very stressful. x

Smilingthru · 22/05/2018 09:19

Good luck OP 💐

TwitterQueen1 · 22/05/2018 09:33

Keeping everything crossed for you OP.

Motoko · 22/05/2018 09:34

Thinking of you both this morning.

I'm living with cancer (it will be 6 years this September since diagnosis) and it's the not knowing that's the worst part when waiting for results, it seems to go on forever.
Whatever the news later, you'll know where you stand. Good luck. Flowers

CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger · 22/05/2018 09:44

Lots of luck today - keeping my fingers crossed for you both

LaurieMarlow · 22/05/2018 09:45

Good luck today Flowers

CaptainCabinets · 22/05/2018 09:54

Good luck today Flowers

Costacoffeeplease · 22/05/2018 09:55

Good luck, I have friends who have had bladder cancer and prostate cancer, the bladder cancer was about 15 years ago and he’s still here and healthy, and the prostate cancer was successful treated about 5 years ago. Hope you have a similar story to tell in future

rapunzelnot · 22/05/2018 09:56

Another good luck from me

penguinsnpandas · 22/05/2018 10:06

Good luck - I think generally only completely clear they will say over the phone and sometimes not even that so it still may not be cancer. Think of any questions like treatment plans, prognosis, timetable etc though sure you could ask them later too. I've just had a kidney and bladder CT and scan for cancer and awaiting mine too and my doctors only gone on holiday.

LemonOnAPear · 22/05/2018 10:09

Thinking of you Flowers

Chocolatecake12 · 22/05/2018 10:09

Sending positive thoughts your way. Flowers

intrigued2018 · 22/05/2018 10:16

Good luck t

onalongsabbatical · 22/05/2018 10:19

Good luck Alicantine thinking of you.

AlisonCHaynes · 22/05/2018 10:22

Good luck; the wait is the worst part, at least you will soon know what you are dealing with.

BitOutOfPractice · 22/05/2018 10:25

Wishing you two all the very best today Thanks

Annasgirl · 22/05/2018 10:29

Thinking of you and sending you good wishes today Alicantine

stressedoutfred · 22/05/2018 10:56

Thinking of you today x

BuntyII · 22/05/2018 11:45

Oh god, lots of love to you today

mummyhaschangedhername · 22/05/2018 12:14

Good luck OP

Rememory · 22/05/2018 13:37

Good OP

Rememory · 22/05/2018 13:37

Good OP

Rememory · 22/05/2018 13:38

Sorry I meant ...Good luck OP