To insist to accompany dh to x ray results, possibly cancer

[Alicantine]

I know it cannot possibly be a good news, but he wants to go on his own to hear the news and I am really upset at the thought.

Here is the background: The hospital rang this morning saying the doctor needed to speak to him urgently and he needs to be there tomorrow (well later today Tuesday 10th April) 3pm. He has had blood in his urine for months but only told me recently. As soon as he told me, I booked a gp appointment for him (about a month and a half ago). When he went the Gp said he needed some tests made and he made a referral. X ray tests were last Friday and they said he should expect the results within 7 to 10 days.
However, today Monday they called home several times (we were out) and we picked up the fourth call in the afternoon as soon as we came back. And they said "you need to come urgently tomorrow 3pm".

Am I right to think this can only be a bad news?

He is adamant he is going on his own, whereas I feel I need to be there.

Sorry for my syntax and order information I do not want to drip feed but I have tears just writing this as I love him so much and I am so scared of losing him

He's 39 and I'm 38. We've been married for 18 years. We have six children together that we love dearly. He is a great dad to them he has his own business and always manages to be there for them and help me with everything I need. I also run a different business and we've been doing great lately. Our relationship had had its fair share of us and downs, but I can honestly say that in all these years he's been my rock, and we haven't had nothing major in the past three years or so, if not more. We laugh, joke, and talk every day, and we always make sure we both know how much we count for the other one.

I believe it would be scandalous for him to go on a test results appointment like this without his wife. But at the same I want to respect his wishes and not upset him. I just don't know what to do to help him right now. If anyone has been in a similar situation or could advise me it'd be great.

I read testimonials of people preparing themselves to attend a cancer test results appointment and most of them say they were happy that someone was there with them, to ask the questions they didn't think about... I told him and he was like "I'm not like everyone, I want to go on my own" :(. What should I do?

@Alicantine How are you and your DH?

Thank you so much for asking.

I wrote a long message on the 22nd when we came back from that appointment, but it got erased at the last minute and I couldn't find the strength to go through all of it again.

It's been such a rollercoaster.

When we arrived on 22nd of May we were told : we still don't know what he has. Literally. They said we're hesitating between "adenocarcinoma" (type of cancer) and "an inflammation".

They said we need to call you back in for further biopsies and tests. We'll call you within 4 to 6 weeks.

It was such an anti climax.

In the end he got an appointment for June 11th, which was yesterday. He came out of hospital today.

When they gave us the June 11th date we postponed our trip to June 21st (we paid £700 to change the tickets for our six children and us). The consultant said he'll do his best to get results from those tests by 20th. As their multi disciplinary meetings are on Tuesdays and he hopes my husband's case can be discussed at the next one next week (Tuesday 19th) and then they could ring us on 20th.

I'm thinking now he should stay behind regardless. But we'll see.

We asked for his notes (through the gdpr law now it's free!),and that was more confusing because the histology report is actually saying, black on white as saying "well differentiated adenocarcinoma" , so I'm not sure it was such a good idea to request them.

I am really grateful to all of you for your support. I'm wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation. Kept in the dark for so long. It's quite tough...

Were sort of in a similar situation - told DH has something very serious in November 17 but now they're still not sure. We're waiting for a second opinion (going to London for that) and meanwhile more tests and waiting and worrying.

It's very hard. Although it's seems to be if he's optimistic and I'm pessimistic and vice versa.

I hope it goes well this week

Gosh that's hard to have such confusion. I hope you have got a clearer idea of what is going on now.

What strength you have to cope with all of this. Your courage will carry you through whatever is to come.

Hoping it is a good outcome.

@Alicantine Hope you're on holiday and having a wonderfully peaceful time.