No evening do at wedding abroad

[allthegoodnameshadgone]

After many weeks of deciding what is best for us we've decided to go abroad for our wedding.

We've booked a really nice hotel and a really late in the day wedding. All inclusive once in a lifetime for us type of place. It's costing a lot of money.

Close family are definitely coming. We've paid for them.

I've stressed that if other people want to come I'd be overjoyed but I understand that it will be their family holiday for that year also, so I have stressed it's going to be super casual, ie wear what your comfortable in, men will be in nice shirts and shorts and flip flops I'm in something flowy as it's going to be super hot.

Given the hotel is all inclusive, we are not going to have an evening do. Just get married and then everyone can go the bar, get food etc. To be honest we can't afford it. (We are happy with this)

Is this unreasonable do you think? People will think we are right won't they?

Thanks for the support and comments for yay or nay. It's good for thought.

It's booked now. Booked it today.

For people saying why would anyone want to go the spa before the wedding or play a game of golf,

My thinking was, this is an expensive holiday whether you stay at the same hotel or not. People will need to make this their annual holiday if I am not paying for them. So if they decide they would like to go there, great, to come the wedding won't cost you anything on top of that. If you want to spend the full day there and do what's on offer you can. I want this as informal as possible. If people can be there for our wedding great but I don't want the whole day to be about the wedding, it's their holiday too.

if it is your annual family holiday, you will want to spend the day with us and maybe a few other days by the beach etc, not the whole holiday. I get that too.

I don't think this is unreasonable at all.
It is your wedding you should do what you want. If the guests don't want to pay etc then they don't have to come, and you're already paying for close family and friends so I really don't see any issue with this at all.

Congratulations and hope you have a fantastic day x

It will be all about the wedding for him and me and the kids

Sounds great.

I thought going abroad would be the easiest option lol. How wrong was I

😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

💐🍷🍫💐🍷🍫💐🍷🍫💐🍷🍫

People won’t read your Op properly, they won't read your updates and they’ll just keep accusing you of being tight...🍷💐

It sounds lovely and (if we were invited) if we possibly could, we’d come. A lovely place, casual dress, you getting married, what’s not to love? We’d probably book at the same place as you for part of the time and somewhere else for the rest of the time, just for a quieter time on our own for a bit. That would save you some day passes and it would be nice to be staying at the same place for the actual wedding.

This must be costing you an absolute fortune 😖. How many have you paid for in full?!

Just make sure your invitations spell out where you are staying (in the hope they book there too!) but also make it clear that their invitation includes food, drink, the early part of the day in the resort etc.

Then I’d book tables in one of the restaurants for everyone to be together.

I really can’t understand why they’d charge you £4K on top simply to have an area to yourselves? I’d have thought that it would be easier for them too instead of you booking out a restaurant and shuffling tables around etc...not to mention being a bit rowdy as people are en masse. Seems mad to me.

I think it sounds amazing. Lovely and relaxed. I hope that you have a great day!

I would not be happy paying to come to a wedding away and not getting food and drink. No, this is very rude. If you want to invite people you ave to work out a way to make it work.

Read the thread!!

I went to a wedding sort of like this a few years back, but the B&G did have a private space in the hotel. The wedding was abroad and the ceremony was in a nice church, then back to the hotel. Buffet food, eat when you want, nothing formal, open bar. Spent most of the day drinking cocktails by the pool after the ceremony. It was heaven. In the evening they had their first dance and then there was music and dancing, but nothing formal in the sense of a sit down meal/ speeches etc. No one minded, lots of people came, even if they hadn't had the private space and dancing bit, but just the AI bar/ facilities/ food as you mention I still think it would have been lovely. Ultimately I had a very fun relaxing weekend for the cost of my plane ticket, and got to see my close friend get married. So I say go for it.

Definitely not worth the extra £4K then. As another poster says if you are able to prebook and have some little touches on the table, great but private dining for £4K not necessary. Everyone will be having a lovely time regardless. Enjoy!

AI is All Inclusive, is that right? So everyone gets a meal in the evening? Why are PP saying there is no sit down meal, if a meal is included?

Confused

Would you be able to pre book some tables so guests can sit together? My only concern would be that people will want to eat but if there's lots of you then you will have to either eat at separate restaurants or at separate times. Although that's not so much of a problem If you can book groups so instead of one big group, have a few smaller groups that can entertain themselves at dinner. I think it sounds lovely, I personally prefer relaxed weddings

Read the fucking thread!!!!!!!!!! facepalm

That was to lil72

I would have some sort of private terrace/room where just the wedding party was. I would serve everyone nibbles and champagne and have photos taken, maybe a wee speech or two. then they can all drift off if they want.
We were at an AL hotel for a wedding and the bridal party had a room with a meal just for them so it made it special.

Double trouble - this is the 4K part...

allthegoodnameshadgone I think your wedding sounds great. As food and drink are all inclusive and there are 3 whole restaruants to choose from, no one is going to go hungry or thirsty. Enjoy your wedding and ignore the naysayers. You will have more fun without them and nobody is forcing them to come.

This is exactly what we did. Everyone who decided to come booked in the same AI as us anyway. After the wedding the hotel reserved us a table in one of the restaurants for us all to eat and then they let us have an area in one of the bars for drinks later. None of this cost extra as it was all part of the all inclusive. It was brilliant and was about the whole holiday not just the one day.

I don't think some people have understood what you mean and that all your guests will be fed and have drinks. It seems pointless paying extra when you have already paid for them all to be all inclusive anyway.

We did have a party when we got back with a Buffett and cake just to celebrate with those who couldn't afford/ didn't want to use their holidays to come with us.

It sounds lovely to me. Enjoy.

We got married in an all inclusive resort in the Caribbean. We didn't have an evening do, but contacted the wedding planner in the hotel and asked if we could have one big table at one of the a la carte restaurants for the evening of the wedding. They were more than happy to oblige and it was great, didn't cost us anything either as it was included in the AI. We just have a tip to the staff afterwards.

I got married abroad and had a package wedding that included a bbq & bottle of wine or 2 bottles of beer 4 each guest then they had to pay for more drinks as it was off site. Maybe you could email the hotel and ask if they can do something a little bit extra due to it being your wedding, they may put you in a special area, most hotels that do weddings will help to make your day amazing

lill72 read the OP's post, it's ALL INCLUSIVE, she is paying for the families stay.

It is your wedding. As long as you are clear from the time of the invitations what is happening and not happening, nothing wrong at all.

Tigers never die

My plan is for the day-is sunbathe and play in the pool all day till 3 with the kids and everyone else who is in the pool and my soon to be husband unless he's playing golf with anyone else , leave to get ready, get married at six, go the bar and all have a nice night drinking cocktails.

Nice and relaxed. We are getting married. It will be lovely. People will be comfortable and I won't have to worry about anything.

It sounds lovely and not unreasonable, but how will you all sit together to eat? Surely there will be other people there too?

The plan for your close family sounds lovely. But I don't understand why you are inviting anyone else beyond that- you know it will cost a fortune for them to attend, even with the offer of an AI day pass from you. It wouldn't sit comfortably with me so I'd just stick with the group I'd paid for.