To be irritated by this?... MIL related.

[Daffodillia]

So we’re staying at mil house. To be fair to her she’s done a lot of the cooking whilst Dh and I chill out. I’ve offered to help but She insists she’s okay.

The thing that irritates me is that when it’s time to serve up she always asks ME to serve the dc’s food up. Which is fine, she doesn’t want to get the portions wrong. BUT she never asks DH!

Now DH is a very capable person, we’re pretty equal when it comes to household stuff, including cooking. But she never asks him!

I was even on the toilet upstairs yesterday and DH was in the kitchen. She walked straight past him and called up to me to come serve the dc’s food!

My dh finds it hilarious, (it’s kind of become an in joke between the 2 of us) and refuses to offer just to wind me up!

I find it sexist, dh finds it old fashioned.

AIBU that it pisses me off?!

Radio

Yes, you are so right. My OldBatphone goes off every time MILs are mentioned and I swoop in to defend them

Or, alternatively, I try and judge on a case-by-case basis

Not sure I see the issue.... in her life she does everything ( poor thing!) given that your husband goes to her house and does nothing she assumes that you live under the same regime. All your husband has to do is pitch in and quite probably your MIL will adjust. Rather sounds as if she is frightened about putting a foot wrong with all the talk about who likes what- suspect it’s all pretty stressful for her

MIL sympathisers....really??
Perhaps we're just rational people who can see the op is being a bit of a dick and moaning on the internet about somebody who is clearly trying her best to be helpful and give her a break. All she's asked to do is dish up a bit of dinner for her kids after its been cooked for her. And yes, if she really has to be pissed off with anyone, then it should be her dh.

A MIL symathizer is anyone who doesn’t automatically respond “What a bitch” to the words “My mil.......”

Who said he did nothing turquise

Why are you defending the fact your H won't serve his children's food?

He will do great but he's never asked to

But you ask him, don't you? If he knows how much this winds you up, why isn't he putting himself forward when it's time to dish up?

Daffodilla YABU - Mashing is most certainly a skill. My mum an XH are terrible at it, even they don't like what they produce. Me and XFIL are mash engineers of excellence.

Next time, just before the meal is to be served take yourself to the loo. When the summons goes out, shout back 'I can't. I've been fiddling with my belly button and my bum's fallen off. I might be a while'. Take something to read.

As he's a SAHP, maybe she's giving him a 'rest' or making sure you keep your hand in.

For me, it all comes down to the gravy. I will tolerate quite a lot of daft from anyone who makes really good gravy.

My MlL does stuff like this and it's very irritating, and my normally competent DH reacts in the same way 🙄

I get detailed run downs on what blankets are on the bed and planned meals. DH gets none of this but is praised effusively for cooking the meat on the barbecue.

She also makes a point of telling me which dishes are low calorie 😂🙄

Her heart is in the right place but she winds me up no end. Last time we stayed with her she said what a shame it was I wasn't still running "most people run right through their pregnancies" 🤔 I am 7 month preg with SPD and just sat there fatly aggressively eating chocolate biscuits

I think some of the people replying have missed the point of this and the point of MN in general.

OP, it sounds like you've figured out a good way to deal with your mil's idiosyncrasies. It sounds like she generally means well, so I'd be doing the same as you and treating it with humour. I can entirely imagine the look on my DH face if his DM did this

My dp makes the best mashed potato in the world. It's a real skill. When we eat at friends houses they get him to do the mash. I think it's a mixture of patience and the amount of butter......

Perhaps your DH could step in to help instead...?

Same here BertrandRussell. Dh always mashes as he's got it down to perfection. It also gives me the chance to plate everything else while he's doing it.

Yes it would annoy me, as it is pretty sexist. But you don't have to go along with it; your DH could step in and serve your DCs' food for them. She would soon stop doing it, I think.

Bertrand Time to inaugurate the Mumsnet Mash Off annual challenge?

TUFF MASHER

just keep it light.yeh its porbably wrong for all kinds of reasons but to make sure you don't get irritable bout it just keep it light between you and dh that you can laugh and piss take over it.otherwsie itl niggle and that niggle will grow to other stuff tht might not otherwise piss you off.

I can see where you are coming from. BUT I think to be fair she is putting you in change of your children and in the place of mum. It's up to your DH to say 'that's fine, I'll do it'. Tbh I think it's odd deferring to either in one way, my MIL doesn't really do that any more, but we're pretty chilled about dc and food as long as common sense is applied.

Give him tiny portions so that he’s still hungry

Daffodillia, you could ask/tell your husband to do it the next time you are going to visit, preferably before dinner is being dished up, before mil asks you to do it.

I think your mil considers you the boss of rearing the youngsters.

I would crack your dh one over the head and tell him to help or speak up, he sounds like he has no balls, does he have any?

Sorry I misread the post as serving up DH food!

I would love to have a MIL to cook for us, especially when we my children were young. Does it really hurt to get up and serve up a dinner someone else has cooked.

OMG. There's always one.