To expect a seat whilst waiting to see midwife

[Littlewreck]

I’ve come to see my midwife for my 41 week appointment. I’ve been told there’s an hour wait at least. There’s no seats left in the waiting area. Am I been unreasonable to expect some of the non pregnant accompanying adults to give up there seats for pregnant woman?

People are just fucking arseholes - shameful behaviour.

Oh there are some twats on today

Of course someone should offer you a seat.

But I often had to ask

I was on the Tube in London and all the seats were taken and a man was strap hanging a bit further down the carriage. The tube stopped and a heavily pregnant woman got on. I stood up and motioned to her to come over and take my seat. From me standing up and moving, the man raced down the carriage and plonked himself in my seat, with me still standing there. I opened my mouth to say something, when another woman sitting said 'oi mate, she stood up to give it to that lady there.' and we all stared at him until he got up.

Similar thing happened whilst on a busy bus. Saw a heavily pregnant woman get on so got up and made eye contact with her to let her know she had my seat. Immediately a child, maybe 12/13, raced from behind me, under my legs and sat down. I said that I had got up specifically to offer my seat to the pregnant woman and his mother, who was sat at the back, said, ''Ignore her, sit down.''

I explained why I had stood up to the mother and the boy but it was no use. Lots of: 'My boy can sit wherever he wants. My boy is a human being with rights'' nonsense. I said a few rather mean things to the mother and was not being unreasonable in doing so. Didn't change the situation but made the pregnant woman laugh and me feel so much better.

Rude, entitled people...I'm sure they're aware that they are making you have to stand, OP.

bluesapp

My mistake. Should have read the OP properly! All my antenatal appts happened at GP surgery so made an assumption. Sorry.

Let's all discriminate against the disabled. If disabled partners can't attend then your husband shouldn't be allowed to attend either BlueSapp, it is a reasonable adjustment to provide a seat for a disabled person.

Nobody said that a disabled person should stand. But are you telling me that every single accompanying adult in that waiting room is likely to be disabled?

peacheachpearplum you see the point is my DH quite regularly stood beside me to wait in a clinic if he was free to come, and it was always packed, and I had no issue with that, you know if he'd needed so much support to get there then he wouldn't of come because we knew what the clinic would always be like and at the end of the day I was the one needed to be seen him being able to be there was a bonus. The partner is not important at the antenatal appointments, neither is granny the siblings or your second cousin!

BitOutOfPractice no I don't think it is likely that every accompanying adult is disabled, I actually said that. However, I don't think every fit accompanying adult is likely to be a man so people are sexist to assume it is a problem with men, it is a problem with able bodied people who are accompanying a pregnant partner/friend/relative.

BlueSapp, oh right so you get the bonus and sod everyone else. Entitled?

Absolutely they should offer. But I'd ask if they don't.

Regarding having to wait more than an hour. This is not good. But some medical professionals seem to think that no-one else has commitments, just free time to wait. I understand that things can be unpredictable, but a bit of respect please when they make you wait.

my point is say there are ten seats and ten heavily pregnant woman booked in and need those seats for a period of time, someone coming in who has mobility issues who is not a patient should not be taking up one of those seats. regardless of who they are.

Bluesapp
Wow. You really don’t have a clue. I have a hidden disability and I cannot stand for long. Some days I can hardly walk and am confined to bed. I have far less energy than the average pregnant woman. I know this because I used to be a pregnant woman in not great health but even full term, i had far more energy than I do today. My 83 year old friend is in far better health than me as is my mother in her mid 70’s. She’s also had cancer.

Mummyoflittledragon so why are you going to an antenatal clinic?

Like I said BlueSapp if my husband can't attend then your's shouldn't either. All partners should be able to attned. Disabled people get treated badly in lots of places, the NHS really shouldn't be one of those places. I think it is highly unlikely that a hospital ante natal clinic only has ten seats and none of the pregnant women have someone with them who can stand.

I went to an antenatal clinic where the midwives hadn't turned up at all after 2 hours.
Receptionists couldn't have been less interested.
In contrast the consultant appointments were spot on time. The Great Man Could Not Be Kept Waiting.

BlueSapp why shouldn't she, she might have a close friend who is pregnant or a daughter. You don't make the rules.

If you want a seat then ask. Personally it wouldn't bother me. I stood on public transport and walked to, round then back home from shops when I was past my due date.

peacheachpearplum again you've missed my point and your being obtuse, if there is someone who need the seat who's supposed to be there and there is only one person sitting who isn't a patient then they shouldn't have they seat, simple!

yanbu to expect non pregnant accompanying adults to give up their seats for a pregnant woman, or a child could sit on someone's knee, on the floor

BlueSapp
I’m not. Not right now. But if my dd for example or a friend or even one of her friends wanted me to be there when they get older, I’d go. My point is you don’t make up the rules or decide who does or doesn’t get to go places. My life is already very very restricted enough and I struggle not to be in a wheelchair without you deciding where I can and can’t go. I’m not a nonperson.

BlueSapp no it isn't that simple. We have laws about disability discrimination and my husband, or any disabled partner, should be able to attend if an able bodied partner can. It isn't acceptable to say you get the bonus of your husband attending and a woman with a disabled husband is denied that. It is a reasonable adjustment to provide a seat for him. Simples.

The disabled companion in these scenarios should ask reception for a seat, explaining about the disability. But this is an exception to the general rule which should be that the patients get priority. It's not hard to hold a rule that patients of the clinic deserve priority at the same time as one that disabled people may need a seat as well.
It's not pregnant women or disabled people causing the problem in the OP's scenario.

I'd be furious. These people should move.

Mummyoflittledragon it is disheartening when the discrimination carries on like this. You would have thought by the 21st century attitudes would have moved on.