To expect a seat whilst waiting to see midwife

[Littlewreck]

I’ve come to see my midwife for my 41 week appointment. I’ve been told there’s an hour wait at least. There’s no seats left in the waiting area. Am I been unreasonable to expect some of the non pregnant accompanying adults to give up there seats for pregnant woman?

BlueSapp you probably don't realise the level of pain some people live with for decades, not just 9 months. I couldn't care less if you think my husband had no right to accompany me because he was disabled as he misses out on enough in life without missing out on things to suit you.

What about non pregnant women who go to clinics with their pregnant partner/sister/daughter/friend? Is it only men who are expected to give up a seat?

Luckily a woman who was going in for her appointment gave me her seat.

Or make your own luck next time and ask for a seat!

This country really needs to start giving assertiveness courses to women.

I saw this recently at my midwife appointment. There was a family of 5 - mum, dad and 3 kids. Just the mum was pregnant, and the 4 other seats taken by the rest of the family, who didn't offer a single seat when the waiting room was full and other pregnant ladies had to stand. It annoyed me. At least the dad could have offered, and two of the kids too going by their height/age.

I've also seen new mothers put car seats on chairs so nobody else could sit in them.

Oh fgs of course you’re not being bloody unreasonable. How likely is it really that all the non pregnant people have hidden disabilities.

Go and ask the Recrptionist to make an announcement, if she’s anything like ours the ill mannered fuckers will dive out of the way.

Because it’s our chromosomes that determine our biology. The biology that has disadvantaged us enough.

It’s ridiculous to be pushing for equality but still demand that men stand up for women when there aren’t enough seats. You might have missed my previous post wasn’t talking about pregnant women, I was responding to a poster talking about men standing up for all women. There’s no need for in any more.

So have you asked op?

Just go sit on someone's knee

peacheachpearplum the point is its not about the disabled person, the clinic is solely for pregnant woman so whether other people are in pain or not they have the choice to be there the pregnant woman does not!
If the clinic is so busy there are no seats the pregnant women are the priority, their heath and that of their unborn child are what is important in that part of the hospital so...

I had this at the antenatal consultant clinic the other week. It was the week after that awful snow so the previous weeks clinic had been cancelled, doubling up that weeks one. It was packed. Three times, in the hour and a half I was waiting, midwives had to come out and boom across the room that all seats taken by non pregnant people needed to be given up. Women were asking the room at large and being ignored!

I'd have been bloody mortified if DH had had to be asked.

People might well have mobility issues. However antenatal clinic are for pregnant women they should be catered for first and foremost: Most women who are 41 weeks pregnant (or way less!) have mobility problems too!!

If the clinic is so busy there are no seats the pregnant women are the priority, their heath and that of their unborn child are what is important in that part of the hospital so...

Since when did standing (for the majority of pregnant women) cause any danger to their health or the health of their babies?

I don’t think it’s at all clear cut who has priority for the seat in the case of a disabled person and a pregnant woman. I’d hope an able bodied or other pregnant woman would stand up instead.

Am amazed by the number of posters who don't seem to think it's particularly rude and that 'you should just ask'...they say 'have you asked?'- good grief you shouldn't need to have to ask!....I think it is extremely rude for able bodied people not to leap to their feet and offer a heavily pregnant woman a seat! They should be ashamed.
I wouldn't have a quiet word with the receptionist, I would have a LOUD word with the receptionist.
Yes there might be some people who are ill as it is a hospital but my husband would need to be really really ill before he would watch a heavily pregnant woman stand.

@Striped - I hope people got up when asked by the midwife?

This was one of my pet hates when I was pregnant. You shouldn't have to ask - surely its just human decency to offer up you seat.
For all those saying just ask (quite nastily in some cases) not everyone has the confidence too. I am normally quite assertive but due to previous complications I was a nervous wreck at all my maternity appointments.

Purple in a antenatal clinic a bloke sort of just has to assume every female may be in need of the seat over him in order to not be a selfish dick, given that the vast majority of the women there are likely to be service users.

There are signs up at our local hospital asking for people to give up seats for pregnant women. It's shocking!

@Lacucuracha They did, but she came out and basically shouted at the room and stood there glaring until she saw movement. Terrible.

PurpleDaisies Of coarse its clear cut, its a hospital antenatal clinic, not specificly for anyone else except pregnant ladies! and for some standing around may be a health issue, swollen legs, ankles, pressure on the pelvic region etc

i don’t think its their fault you got pregnant so would be quite rude to ask them to move

Wow. By the same token it's not the fault of other passengers on trains and buses that people became disabled or old, so on the basis of that argument they shouldn't give up their seats to them either. Is that an argument you really want to justify, sockunicorn?

Purple, unless every seated man and non-pregnant woman in the ante-natal clinic waiting room happens to have a disability that means they need seats, your argument isn't really relevant. The likelihood of that being the case is pretty remote, to say the least.

That’s awful OP that no one offered. When I was pregnant (7 years ago now) at the antenatal appointments the male partners always immediately stood up to offer their seat to a lady whether or not she ‘looked’ pregnant as they were with their pregnant partners so expected to. I looked very pregnant by 8 weeks though anyway (as 3rd baby I suppose !)

Of course its clear cut, its a hospital antenatal clinic, not specificly for anyone else except pregnant ladies!

So disabled partners shouldn’t be allowed to attend antenatal appointments unless they are able to stand?

Some pregnant women will obviously require seats but not all. Realistically, there is likely to be another person who can stand up. It shouldn’t have to automatically be a man if they happen to have a disability that means it’s difficult for them.

Since when did standing (for the majority of pregnant women) cause any danger to their health or the health of their babies?

I've had a pretty easy pregnancy, but for the last few weeks (currently 38 weeks), my left leg goes dead and I have severe sciatica if I stand up for too long.

I'm not sure I've ever met a heavily pregnant woman who could comfortably stand up for an hour, although I'm sure they exist somewhere...

So disabled partners shouldn’t be allowed to attend antenatal appointments unless they are able to stand?

Basically I'd say yes, they should potentially be prepared to stand to not take up the seat of a patient.

You need to ask someone... people aren't mind readers, and they could have disabilities themselves that mean they require a seat.

Four posts that took! Unbelievable.
No they aren’t mindreaders, but being heavily pregnant isn’t a subtle condition! I assume at 41 weeks op is quite obviously showing.

Also let’s go on pure probability... a full waiting room of people I’m gonna guess that there’s at least a handful of people without a disability themselves that means the require a seat.

Of course YANBU op, but I’m not bloody surprised.