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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect a seat whilst waiting to see midwife

340 replies

Littlewreck · 05/04/2018 15:25

I’ve come to see my midwife for my 41 week appointment. I’ve been told there’s an hour wait at least. There’s no seats left in the waiting area. Am I been unreasonable to expect some of the non pregnant accompanying adults to give up there seats for pregnant woman?

OP posts:
Averyyounggrandmaofsix · 05/04/2018 15:47

You really should not have to ask!

Trinity66 · 05/04/2018 15:47

41 weeks pregnant and not one non pregnant person offered their seat? Horrible people

HeyRoly · 05/04/2018 15:49

Oh, just ask. I would have. And indeed did, when I was pregnant and travelling on the tube.

Too many people will assume you're happy to stand unless you say otherwise.

You shouldn't have to, but there you go. People are selfish.

bluebeck · 05/04/2018 15:49

I would ask the receptionist if they had a chair I could sit on. I wouldn't ask the other patients in case they had mobility issues.

If they didn't I would go home or to the nearest cafe and ask them to call me when the midwife was near my turn.

Trinity66 · 05/04/2018 15:49

Sit on someone.

Grin
BitOutOfPractice · 05/04/2018 15:51

YANBU. What planet are some of these men people on? Of course they should offer you a seat. I wonder what the world is comingto sometimes with common courtsey

Hope your wait isn' ttoo long and congrats on your impending birth!

GreenMeerkat · 05/04/2018 15:52

I HATE this,people are so rude and inconsiderate.

I remember when I was heavily pregnant and people would blatantly stare at me on the bus or tram yet nobody would stand and let me on. An elderly gent was the only one in four packed tram journeys to offer me a seat (I declined!). I always offer my seat to elderly/disabled/pregnant people and just cannot understand why others don't!

Lubyloo · 05/04/2018 15:52

Just ask the nearest man if you can have his seat. Say it in a clear voice so that he doesn't dare not to!

MumofBoysx2 · 05/04/2018 15:54

I can't believe you would even have to ask. If I saw a pregnant woman I would offer my seat immediately. There are some pretty rude people about. If they don't, then it's perfectly OK to ask.

BitOutOfPractice · 05/04/2018 15:55

I wouldn't ask the other patients in case they had mobility issues

The chances of every accompanying adult having mobility issues are zero.

MonsteraDeliciosa · 05/04/2018 15:56

YANBU. Im disappointed in the number of posters saying, in slightly sneery way, that you should just ask FGS!
You shouldn't have to. We seem to live in ridiculously selfish times.

SweetMoon · 05/04/2018 15:56

I can't beleive none of them have offered. That is really shocking. Muster up the courage and ask one of the men if you can sit down. I'm really surprised too that their pregnant wives haven't nudged them into moving for you, considering they will know how you feel! Truly shocked.

GreenMeerkat · 05/04/2018 15:56

Also, when I was 35 weeks pregnant, a lad on crutches got on the bus when there were no seats. I had a seat and looked around and nobody would get up for him, so I did. Poor lad was mortified to take my seat but I could physically stand, he couldn't. I was next to the window aswell and the moody old bat next to me wouldn't even move up for him and made him climb over her. People make me angry!

Marmite27 · 05/04/2018 15:57

I’d just announce to the room that I needed to sit down so could some one who’s not pregnant give it their seat.

BlueSapp · 05/04/2018 15:59

Sit on someone.

Best advise ever! Easter Grin

SweetMoon · 05/04/2018 16:00

41 weeks! Its not like its not obvious you're pregnant I'm guessing! Congratulations by the way, I hope everything goes well with what must be an imminent birth and hope someone moves for you soon.

HeyRoly · 05/04/2018 16:01

YANBU. Im disappointed in the number of posters saying, in slightly sneery way, that you should just ask FGS!
You shouldn't have to. We seem to live in ridiculously selfish times.

No sneering from me, but equally, there's no point being a martyr and moaning about it when you can walk up to the nearest able bodied looking man and ask for his seat.

It's precisely because we live in ridiculously selfish times that the OP needs to ask. Pull people up for their selfish behaviour instead of quietly seething about it Grin

PurpleDaisies · 05/04/2018 16:01

Just ask. Not every pregnant woman wants to sit down.

OOMG · 05/04/2018 16:02

YANBU. You shouldn’t have to ask but it looks like you’re going to have to. I couldn’t have stood for longer than 5 minuted at 41 weeks!

sockunicorn · 05/04/2018 16:03

they should offer. i wouldnt ask though, i dont think its their fault you got pregnant so would be quite rude to ask them to move. However I would always offer and hope my DC would offer a disabled/elderly/pregnant person their seat.

CowesTwo · 05/04/2018 16:04

I was on the Tube in London and all the seats were taken and a man was strap hanging a bit further down the carriage. The tube stopped and a heavily pregnant woman got on. I stood up and motioned to her to come over and take my seat. From me standing up and moving, the man raced down the carriage and plonked himself in my seat, with me still standing there. I opened my mouth to say something, when another woman sitting said 'oi mate, she stood up to give it to that lady there.' and we all stared at him until he got up.

Original poster
Littlewreck · 05/04/2018 16:07

Luckily a woman who was going in for her appointment gave me her seat.
I guess I assumed in an antenatal clinic that pregnant woman would be given a seat! I’d be angry with my partner if he didn’t give his seat up but I guess everyone’s different.

OP posts:
HeyRoly · 05/04/2018 16:09

I dont think its their fault you got pregnant so would be quite rude to ask them to move

She was in an antenatal clinic FFS Grin

I love the "you CHOSE to get pregnant" argument. Rolled out by every inconsiderate prick on public transport, along with "I paid for my ticket and am entitled to the seat!"

It is quite tragic how selfish people can be...

Scribblegirl · 05/04/2018 16:10

You shouldn't have to ask, but I do despair of a world in which we wait around for someone to offer. Yes, it would be lovely if they did it out of the goodness of their hearts but most people are wankers distracted and need it pointed out to them. If you don't speak up, you've forfeited a huge part of your right to complain.

bumblenbean · 05/04/2018 16:14

Unbelievable behaviour. Fine not every pregnant woman wants/needs to sit down but surely it’s a common courtesy to offer? As a pp has said, highly unlikely all the men in the room have mobility issues.

I’ve had terrible PGP with both pregnancies and would be in agony standing up for an hour. If nobody offered a seat I would politely ask.