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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel really let down by DDs and niece spending £13 on chocolate?

258 replies

Plipplops · 05/04/2018 12:13

I have DDs (9 and 10) and had my niece (10) for a sleepover last night. Over dinner last night had a conversation about how important it is to eat healthily. DDs aren't keen at all on veg but are slowly slowly getting better (niece is way better but her mum doesn't like her having sweets etc. as she had dental problems when she was younger).

This morning they've asked to go to the café in the village (first sunny day in ages). I said yes, that they could have a small cake (cupcake) and a drink, not a massive slice of cake, and gave them £20 as I didn't have anything smaller.

They've got back and admitted they had 5 chocolate bars and a small piece of cake between them, plus a milkshake each (so drink laden with sugar). DD2 says she just had the cake and didn't finish it, plus 2 bites of chocolate. So DD1 and niece have had 2+ chocolate bars each, plus sugary drink?!?

I feel really let down. They all know better, I feel like they've really abused my trust. DD1 obviously feels bad - has come home and apologised, I asked if she thinks she made good choices and she's said no. Not sure what to do now (we were probably going to go to the beach but I sort of feel like they need to just tidy their rooms and feel guilty for most of the day). AIBU?

OP posts:
jamoncrumpets · 05/04/2018 15:15

This post is hilarious. You gave 9/10 yo girls money and told them they could use it to go to a cafe, and you're surprised they bought milkshakes, cake and chocolate with it?! They're 9 and 10! What did you think they'd buy? Green tea and energy balls?

lynmilne65 · 05/04/2018 15:18

pinkvoid GrinGrinGrinGrin

Katedotness1963 · 05/04/2018 15:28

I'm pretty sure it was a similar incident that made me keep a dish in the kitchen that I put £1 coins in, so I never handed the kids a £10/20 note for treats.

JustPutSomeGlitterOnIt · 05/04/2018 15:32

I honestly thought this was a troll.

Luckingfovely · 05/04/2018 15:33

You WANT them to feel guilty for the rest of the day?

You are an absolute bitch and need to have a long hard look at yourself.

Mynewnameforabit · 05/04/2018 15:40

did you say, " Here is £20, I want £16 back ?" If not why on earth not ?
I'm wondering if some posters have been in a cafe since 1972!? You really couldn't buy 3 drinks in most cafes for £4, let alone a cake each!
As has been said, £13 for a drink and something to eat, for 3, is not excessive at all.

Aeroflotgirl · 05/04/2018 15:42

Yabvu, they are 9+10, what do you think would happen.

PieAndPumpkins · 05/04/2018 15:43

I think you need to relax.

You don't go to a cafe for carrots and celery sticks, you go for a treat. You did say they could have a drink in addition to their cake - they chose a milkshake. Do they know you disapprove of milkshakes? What did you expect them to drink? Did you stipulate restrictions in their choice of drink?

I also think 9/10 is too young to be left unsupervised, or to put that much pressure on them over their choice of drink/snack for a treat outing. Maybe next time head to Tesco and make a fruit platter or something...

catinapoolofsunshine · 05/04/2018 15:45

physics why on earth can't 9 and 10 year olds walk to cafés?

sockunicorn · 05/04/2018 15:47

They're kids and its the easter holidays. One day like this every 6 months / year will not kill them and will give them a lovely memory of spending time with their cousin doesnt something theyre not really supposed to do (while not being illegal or serious!). Let them enjoy their moment and don't put food guilt onto 3 teenage girls.

BitOutOfPractice · 05/04/2018 16:00

@schrodingerstwat it would seem that yes, most days, on most threads, that is far far too much to expect but let's face it, arguments are usually more fun

Oblomov18 · 05/04/2018 16:02

Were you specific?
"I only have a £20 note, so I'm expecting £10 back. You can buy what you want, but you can only spend up to £10. No more. Do you understand"?

A 9 and 10 year old would understand that.

scampimom · 05/04/2018 16:04

Perhaps the OP mis-typed and they actually spent all her money on crack cocaine? Because that is the only explanation that makes sense of the reaction to my mind.

SweetMoon · 05/04/2018 16:15

It could have been worse... I once sent a three, four and five year old to a campsite shop (I could see them from where I was) to buy toilet roll. They came back with bubbles. Only Bubbles!

Love it! Grin

Sarkyharky · 05/04/2018 16:18

Oh god I'd let mine go to a village cafe but we live in a tiny village. I wouldn't be too bothered about the money or the chocolate

IamaBluebird · 05/04/2018 16:19

They've had a milkshake and a cake. Don't ruin what could be a lovely day at the beach for this. There'll be bigger challenges than this.

Sarkyharky · 05/04/2018 16:19

Ooh I think wamting them to feel guilty is quite nasty. OP your reaction is way over the top

ChickenMom · 05/04/2018 16:22

Crikey! Yes you are BU. Chill a bit. You sound like a control freak to be honest. They are kids. Let them be that. Plenty of time for rules and diets when they are adults. Drop it now

YearOfYouRemember · 05/04/2018 16:34

So children are allowed to not do as they are told, just because they are children?

Etino · 05/04/2018 16:35

eugh dont be a guilt trippy manipulative parent.

MargoLovebutter · 05/04/2018 16:38

YearOfYou - in my opinion the instructions were not sufficiently clear. They were told they could have cake and a drink. I don't believe they were told that they were not to have anything else. If instructions are not clear, then you can't say for sure that they were or were not allowed to do something.

WhitePhantom · 05/04/2018 16:45

Have you never over-indulged in anything OP? Eg, ever had a hang-over?

Have you never made 'bad choices'??

BrendasUmbrella · 05/04/2018 16:49

You know she did accept she was BU over a page ago? It's a bit ironic to keep having a go considering the thread topic is whether she over-reacted...

user1471426142 · 05/04/2018 16:50

I hope you went to the beach. Do you really want to give this message to the girls: ‘I want you to feel so bad you ate sugar so you are missing your nice trip to the beach and as a punishment you’ll be tidying your room’. I’d have thought getting outside and running off the sugar would have been a good thing rather than laying on guilt.

findingmyfeet12 · 05/04/2018 16:54

There were three of them. They egged each other on and overindulged in sweet stuff and they're 10.

I'd probably have a little word with them and then forget all about it.

You're supposed to play up a bit when you spend the holidays with your cousins. It's par for the course.

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