To feel really let down by DDs and niece spending £13 on chocolate?

[Plipplops]

I have DDs (9 and 10) and had my niece (10) for a sleepover last night. Over dinner last night had a conversation about how important it is to eat healthily. DDs aren't keen at all on veg but are slowly slowly getting better (niece is way better but her mum doesn't like her having sweets etc. as she had dental problems when she was younger).

This morning they've asked to go to the café in the village (first sunny day in ages). I said yes, that they could have a small cake (cupcake) and a drink, not a massive slice of cake, and gave them £20 as I didn't have anything smaller.

They've got back and admitted they had 5 chocolate bars and a small piece of cake between them, plus a milkshake each (so drink laden with sugar). DD2 says she just had the cake and didn't finish it, plus 2 bites of chocolate. So DD1 and niece have had 2+ chocolate bars each, plus sugary drink?!?

I feel really let down. They all know better, I feel like they've really abused my trust. DD1 obviously feels bad - has come home and apologised, I asked if she thinks she made good choices and she's said no. Not sure what to do now (we were probably going to go to the beach but I sort of feel like they need to just tidy their rooms and feel guilty for most of the day). AIBU?

Sounds like a good outcome, so pleased you made it to the beach!

Dint be such a misery OP.

They don't need the OP to go with them Unicorn , they just need her to give them a clearer spending limit - she probably has an idea of prices in the village cafe and can say what's likely to easily cover whatever she's willing to pay for.

Your village with community cafe sounds lovely unicorn - I hope you give them another chance with clearer rules. It did sound as though you'd laid on the food shaming guilt from your early posts, there's no better way to set children up as secret esters and more generally to teach them to lie to you than overeating to them telling you honestly that they've gone a bit overboard with the chocolate. You sounded a bit disgusted by the milkshakes and tied it to a healthy eating talk. Glad that was apparently just your internal thoughts and that's not how it was face to face.

My DD was going to cafés in town with friends at 10 in her school lunch break (abroad, secondary school from age 10/11 depending on birthday and various other factors) in nice small town. Afternoon school is optional / extra curricular but committed to for the academic year, for extra subjects like extra music, extra sports and drama, school finishes and closes at 12:15 and reopens for a separate session from 13:15 - kids totally left to their own devices for the intervening hour. Ive heard of absolutely no problems, ever. Most cafes in town have a special lunch deal for school kids which they have to show their student ID for (which they are issued on starting secondary).

Sorry "your village with community cafe sounds lovely" was meant to be to Plip not unicorns

Glad you all went to the beach and had a lovely time Op.

I think you need to be honest with yourself.

Around here you wouldn’t get 3 milkshakes & 3 cupcakes for that. How much were you expecting them to spend & why didn’t you tell them if there was a limit?

Your OP is all about healthy eating, the sugar & only having a small cake. Not about the money.

Your DD’s and niece ‘admitted’ what they’d eaten, how many bites of chocolate fgs. That’s not about the money.

You still haven’t said what drinks you expected them to buy?

Crunchie 187 calories x 2 374 calories.
Cupcake 368 (random one at Tesco)

I think you are being disingenuous to say it’s the money that bothered you.

This is my favourite ever MN thread.

I left £20 out for my teenage son recently as he had a half day and a pal was coming home with him. Thought they would go for a subway etc.
They bought Haribo, Squashies,Pringles and fizzy drink each.
His second head hasn't sprouted yet....
Thats kids!