Best friend won't come to my wedding.

[KatherineMayfair]

Best friend is a bit of a stretch right now but she is my longest friend (time wise, not height wise). She was going to be a bridesmaid and my wedding is in a few months, however I got a message today from her saying she won't be attending as it's on her birthday. It is on her birthday but she knew that when she agreed and I bought her dress. If she'd have said it from the get-go then that would've been fine (I'd have still been a bit hurt but I'd have understood) but the fact that she's turned around now, after me paying for her and her husband and two children's meals for the wedding, RSPV'd yes and buying her dress, AIBU to be pissed off?

If we all took into consideration the birthdays of family and friends when booking a date nobody would get married on a date that suited them.
HIDDEN thats a fucking stupid comment,

I think something else is bothering her too - have you got expectations of her that cost money?

Is she expected to stay over one or two nights?
Is she expected to pay to go away on a hen night/weekend/week?
Is she expected to pay towards your proportion of the hen night/weekend/week?

These are all typical things that cost that come up on this forum, resulting in people backing out of going to weddings.

Sorry - didn't realise it was an old thread!

I thought I was having a case of deja-vu there for a minute

When my one time best friend got married, my OH at the time refused to go as he didn't like her husband to be. Lied at first and said he couldn't get the time off work, then admitted he didn't like him and refused to go.
l think he thought l wouldn't go either. But l did. Got dressed up to the nines and went on my own. Which l was furious about, but no way would l have missed my friend's wedding.
l suspect that later on she's going to need her friends, which is a shame as she's lost a good one by doing this.

Fuck that for a game of soldiers! Luckily my mum and and MIL live 500 miles away.

hidden are you for real! Why would she not, you only get married once so to speak, birthdays are every year. Op cannot plan a wedding round people's dates, if it was a problem, the friend should have spoken up sooner.

Neither Hidden nor the OP have been around since April last year, at least under those names...

Yes, I read the OP too and had that dejá vu feeling. - why is MN clogging my brain?

Why would you book your wedding on her birthday?

Why not? I couldn't think of a better party for my birthday than going to a friend's wedding!

☠️☠️🧟‍♀️🧟‍♀️🧟‍♀️🧟‍♀️🧟‍♀️🧟‍♀️☠️☠️

Well I would be cancelling the surprise birthday cake and singing telegram for a start............

.......as you no doubt did.

Creeps away from zombie thread.

I also agree birthday is non sense. Especially as it was the only day available. What were you supposed to do? Cancel the wedding? Wait another year?

People are so rude and entitled nowadays it almost scares me. Screw her, OP. You don't have time for that shit.

Oh ffs zombie. I got sucked into a zombie thread for the first time. Boooo

I'd love to spend my birthday at a friend's wedding. I think her accepting then pulling out is really off. She's trying to cause drama