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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How can it be possible that we would be so skint!

530 replies

BasinHaircut · 04/04/2018 11:12

Just doing some sums to basically work out whether we can ‘afford’ to have another child. We can, but I’ve just worked out that even though DH and I bring home £4500 per month net, PLUS childcare vouchers of £385 per month, once paying another set of childcare fees 4 days per week, after everything was paid out each month we would have £750 left over for food, petrol and other spends. There would be 4 of us to feed so let’s say £300 a month, plus £100 petrol. £350 for all of us for anything else.

How is it possible that we would have so little? I know it would be short term (until free 15 hours kick in and then better again once they started school) but what the fuck???

Going through our expenses it’s only things such as amazon prime and Apple Music that we could feasibly claw back each month. Nothing that would make a dent.

We are lucky I suppose that we own our house, have renovated it already so not expecting any big expenses in the medium term. But still, even Xmas would be a real struggle!

This is not a stealth boast I promise, I genuinely cannot understand how we can have so much coming in and still not even have enormous go to justify a takeaway if we have another child.

OP posts:
BasinHaircut · 04/04/2018 11:14

*enough, not enormous

OP posts:
strawberrysparkle · 04/04/2018 11:20

I really wouldn't class that as been left with 'so little' if I'm honest. Prepared to be flamed OP.

amy85 · 04/04/2018 11:21

Are you for real?! That's is loads left over especially seeing as you are paying for 2 in childcare!

Babababababybel14 · 04/04/2018 11:23

I have about 20 quid a month left over at the end of the month OP. Poor you.

Bluelady · 04/04/2018 11:24

There are a lot of people who would kill for £750 disposable income. People who have less than that for absolutely everything, including their rent.

Glumglowworm · 04/04/2018 11:25
Biscuit

£350 after bills and food is a healthy disposable income

kyrenialady · 04/04/2018 11:25

It's not a bad amount, it is similar to ours and I feel quite fortunate.

You need to do a budget planner and find where everything is going.

Kingsclerelass · 04/04/2018 11:26

Agree with strawberry, it sounds fine to me. And it's only short term.

Pomegranatemolasses · 04/04/2018 11:26

I absolutely hear where you're coming from, but as you can see from previous responses AIBU probably isn't the place for reasoned comment on this.

TheUbercornMum · 04/04/2018 11:27

Have you looked at things like house insurance / utilities for the best deals? I know when we reviewed those we got better deals that clawed back a bit. Also things like making your own lunch versus buying out, online food shopping with meal plans help cut down wastage. You may have already thought of these but what we looked at when I gave up my job to be a sahm.

Falconhoof1 · 04/04/2018 11:28

That's loads imo! You may have to cut back on a few things but don't we all?

ElderflowerWaterIsDelish · 04/04/2018 11:28

What kind of food are you buying?..if you switch to cheaper brands or even economy brands it will save you some money, and only buy what you will eat (don't over buy if it will end up uneaten/ going out of date / being thrown away)

Have you thought about getting an aupair, they cost £70-£85 a week and can do up to 30 hours of light housekeeping and childcare

www.gov.uk/au-pairs-employment-law/au-pairs

Elementtree · 04/04/2018 11:30

Well, that's not my definition of skint. Just stick with one kid if a second cramps your style.

NotUmbongoUnchained · 04/04/2018 11:32

Tbh we found that adding another child didn’t increase our outgoings that much. There were a few things we had to buy again but mostly we used stuff from our elder child.
I understand how you feel though, when you’re used to having money it’s a blow.

BasinHaircut · 04/04/2018 11:33

Sorry if it seems a bit bad that I’m saying it would be so little, when that is quite a lot to others but it’s all relative I think. We have decent jobs and reasonable incomes but are also in (outer) London so living costs are high.

We already take lunches to work and switch about insurers and energy suppliers etc, there isn’t really anything else to claw back. We are paying off a loan which isn’t ideal but it’s not something we can reduce really. It is what it is.

OP posts:
FemaleDilbert · 04/04/2018 11:33

You might need to break it down a bit. Do you have a mortgage? Car finance payments?

How much is the childcare for 2? I’m guessing around £2k?

Have you remembered to include child benefit for 2 in your calculations? Assuming you are eligible

DancesWithOtters · 04/04/2018 11:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

orangesmartieseggs · 04/04/2018 11:37

Once all bills and food is paid for that's plenty of money.

I'm afraid you won't get much sympathy on here, especially when your net income is more than double what a lot of couples have to manage on.

Iooselipssinkships · 04/04/2018 11:38

I don't think you know what skint is. Skint is picking up pennies from the street so you can afford milk, or cutting up a nappy to use as a sanitary towel because you can't afford tampons that month. That's skint. You're lucky and you can afford another child if you so wish.

YourWanMajella · 04/04/2018 11:38

How is it possible that we would have so little?

How is it possible you think you have "so little"? You're loaded compared to most. You have a mortgage on what I guess is a nice house in the suburbs you can afford to pay for, you'd have 2 kids in expensive childcare, service your debts, pay all your bills, AND have money left over?

kyrenialady · 04/04/2018 11:41

I would guess living in outer London most of your income is going on rent/council tax?

We used to live in Kent now we live up North and have much more disposable income.

Zoflorabore · 04/04/2018 11:43

I will swop with you op. We are skint and I mean really skint.

I have £2.45 in the bank, 2 kids off for 2 weeks and need all kinds of stuff.

Am suffering badly with fibromyalgia and my mh is clinging on for dear life.
Feeling extremely low today.

I don't think you are really skint in the true sense.

abigailsnan · 04/04/2018 11:43

I will say good for you OPs for considering the financial side of things before you go ahead with adding to your family,I do think you will manage on the disposable income you have worked out it is a lot more than most people have to be honest.
When my DD had her last baby she cut back on a lot of things such as her food shopping she puried all the baby food saving her £s a month and with her being at home she was able to cook from scratch and freeze meals for the month.
Look at your tariffs for energy and find the cheapest to suit you and you will manage very well.

mindutopia · 04/04/2018 11:44

You must have a massive mortgage! Do you have car payments? Could you cut down on that? We have two secondhand cars so pay nothing and that saves us a lot.

Why not wait for a larger gap? We had our second only after our first started school. So not only did we save on potential childminder fees for after school while I’m on mat leave, we only ever have to pay for one in full time childcare as our older one will be in year 1 when the second starts nursery. Even just a few months of banking the extra we would have spent on full time nursery after dc1 started school before I started mat leave for dc2 meant we have a healthy cushion while I’m on mat leave.

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 04/04/2018 11:46

ignore the haters, there is some weird competition on this forum sometimes about how people survive on 20 pence a month (but unlimited free time to spend on the forum!), or just posters who think that anyone having anything more than they have are posh entitled rich bastards. The stupidity is amazing sometimes.

OP, yes it is shit. Childcare vouchers don't come on top of your salary, they are taken from your income (before tax) and they are capped, so not everybody get the same amount! The killer is the childcare, no 2 ways about it. See how much your own salary is, and how much you will spend (ignore the nonsense both salaries pay for childcare). Add your commute and you see why so many women cannot afford - or justify financially - to go back to work. Financially it makes no sense.

Don't forget that the haters only look at income, but conveniently forget how much help they get, tax credits, low rent and so on. Most haters on this forum have more disposable income than they care to reveal, but they like to play victims and snigger at others spending a fortune on tax, not getting any help, and not getting any discount either.

When both parents work, you could get the 30 hours. That said, the 15 free hours is a bit of a con, the nurseries receive too little so many parents end up spending more, because they have to pay "extra" on top of the free hours (like food, nappies, outings which are included in the paid hours"). The only solution is friends or family to get free childcare unfortunately