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Original poster

To think my friend sends her daughter to school holiday camp too much?

169 replies

Rosgos · 03/04/2018 16:58

My friend is a SAHM to an 8 year old little girl. Was trying to arrange a play date for her and my DD.
Found out she sends her to the school-run holiday 'camp' daycare during every half term, easter, and summer holiday from 7.30am-1.30pm. Except the 1 week she spends with her dad (separated parents) in the summer and the 1 over xmas (and she's with him EO weekend), this little girl only seems to have proper time off from school with her mum and stepdad for a week over xmas. I couldn't handle that! As a mummy or as a child!

I'm sorry I just couldn't imagine doing that if i were a SAHM with no work commitments (I'm a teacher so I'm off during school hols and DDs do a week in the summer somewhere outdoorsy for the experience - but the school-run one is just so boring!)

I'd want my DC with me as much as possible!!

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 03/04/2018 17:30

Jeezo 7.30am!! Dd would be late every day by about 4 hours Grin

RainbowGlitterFairy · 03/04/2018 17:31

I work in a school so get all the holidays off too, DD(9) has spent the past 3 school holidays telling me that she'd rather like to go to holiday club actually please. I don't want her to, partially cost and also I want to spend time together, but she is adamant that's what she wants.

RoadToRivendell · 03/04/2018 17:32

I'd want my DC with me as much as possible!!

Are you really this dull and sanctimonious IRL?

senua · 03/04/2018 17:33

Why is it your business?

The whole idea of being a SAHP is to be there for the DC, not offload them. As a WOHP, I needed those camps and it's a bit galling to find the spaces taken up by the DC of SAHPs.
It is all parents' business.

MaisyPops · 03/04/2018 17:34

Seems a bit odd to me. Some mornings for the activities I get but being a SAHP and then actively spending money to reduce how much time you spend with the kids seems a bit pointless to me.

Each to their own though.

You'll be eaten alive though OP. There's a particular cohort on MN who act like SAHM are there only to do childcare and all housework should be 50/50, dads should have no hobby time but it's fine for Mum to have her leisure time whilst the kids are off being looked after elsewhere. Don your hard hat.

Schnauzermum2 · 03/04/2018 17:34

Is she an only child? My DS is an only and quite frankly much prefers to go and play with other kids in holiday clubs than be at home all the time with me! It’s probably telling when you said YOU want your child with you as much as possible. Ever considered the feelings not mutual

TroysMammy · 03/04/2018 17:34

I'm sure the mum would like some time to herself instead of faced with housework and childcare 24/7.

Mookatron · 03/04/2018 17:34

@senua you have no idea who needs what. Bosom-adjusting is one thing, making shit up about how it's a fucking moral issue is beyond the pale.

InionEile · 03/04/2018 17:34

My 6 year old asked me if he could go to the school aftercare some days because he wants to play with his friends. Right now, he stays home with me but I’m thinking of signing him up for a couple of days next year even though I don’t need the childcare.

I’ve had other friends tell me that their older DC ask to go to summer camp etc because they want to see friends. Some kids are more extrovert and peer-focused than others. Maybe your DD is quiet and likes family time- your friend’s DD might be the opposite. Not all kids are the same. Why do you care?

ReanimatedSGB · 03/04/2018 17:35

The men who are fucking off to indulge their hobbies are dumping the childcare on their wives (usually without asking), though. Parents who book holiday club or other childcare for their DC are paying for it.

A lot of kids (particularly only children or those who don't get on too well with their siblings) would rather be at holiday camp than at home.
And if the mother is using her childfree time to have her hair done or engage in group sex at the local swingers club (some do afternoon sessions for just this category of customer) it's no one else's business.

LaurieMarlow · 03/04/2018 17:35

Not your circus, not your monkeys OP.

Concentrate on your own life.

NotAgainYoda · 03/04/2018 17:36

I'd guess it suits her child, who is probably very active and sociable. It's not all day.

It's probably because you work that you think differently about this

scampimom · 03/04/2018 17:36

it's a bit galling to find the spaces taken up by the DC of SAHPs.

Really? Galling? That children should want to spend time with their friends doing fun stuff over the holidays rather than trail round after mum/dad getting the shopping in and cleaning up the house and getting food on?

NotAgainYoda · 03/04/2018 17:38

Also, why 'mummy' not mum? Twee. Suspect

RoadToRivendell · 03/04/2018 17:39

Also, why 'mummy' not mum? Twee. Suspect

I agree. I find it hard to believe this person actually exists. OP seems more a caricature than a person.

snowagain · 03/04/2018 17:39

I see both sides here......

It's lovely to want to be with your kids a lot OP, but they NEED to spend time with their peers, and other people. And as long as the kids are happy to go to these camps, then that is great. If they are not, then that is a different matter. Do you know if the kids are OK with it?

If you want and NEED to be with your child all the time; that's a bit weird to be honest, and not at all healthy.....

Must admit though, if the kids are at the camp every day of every holiday, I do wonder when your friend is doing anything with them herself (like daytrips, and picnics, and country walks, and bike rides, and playing Scrabble and Monopoly, and watching Disney films together etc, and the usual things people do with their kids...)

Not judging.. Just wonder.... Though you do sound a bit judgy, I do sort of see your point.. a bit....

Tistheseason17 · 03/04/2018 17:39

Wow, I must be a bad mum then as I not only work full time so don't see my DC all the time, and they also go to holiday camp, too!!

See, I get 6 weeks of annual leave and not 13 weeks that the school closes.

I think the SAHM is doing a grand job being home for her child before and after school every day and then providing fun during the holidays for half a day. Bet her DC loves it - mine do. I would love to be in that position but huge mortgage before babies arrived meant returning to work was a must, not a choice.

Judgmental pants are not part of my wardrobe.

Mookatron · 03/04/2018 17:40

@ReanimatedSGB each to their own. I find it difficult to focus on reading a book without checking the clock every five minutes on the days I have to pick the kids up at 3.15 - it must take super levels of concentration to concentrate on all that time-limited shagging!

twinone · 03/04/2018 17:40

Maybe it's cheaper for her to do that than filling all her dd's week with outings.
Alternatively, maybe she just dislikes her kid and doesn't want to spend any more time than necessary with her.

Becca8675309 · 03/04/2018 17:41

My daughter LOVES holiday camps! She's tried ones for art, computer coding, outdoor building using saws and hammers, dancing, martial arts & maths. She adored them all! She's usually done by 3pm, and then we spend the afternoon & evening together. Win win for us both :)

Tinkobell · 03/04/2018 17:41

Wind your neck in. Her life, her loss. It's quite hard providing constant stimulus for an 8 year old, they can drive you bonkers. My kids used to love the camp things .....they get to hang out with teenagers (dead cool), smear chocolate paste over themselves and drink mocktails....what's not to like?!

Sunflowerhappy · 03/04/2018 17:41

My dd goes to holiday clubs. I work.
On my day off dd wanted to go because she gets to see her friends. I went to pick her up early and was sent on my merry way because she was having a talent competition with her friends.
Maybe her kids just like to socialise.

If she's a sahm she probably finds it easier to do jobs like shopping and cleaning without the kids under her feet or glued to a screen while she's busy.
She's not a bad mum and you shouldn't judge.

FrangipaniBlue · 03/04/2018 17:46

I've packed my DS off to holiday camp every day this week - starts at 8.45am finishes at 5pm.

Well I say "packed him off" it was more of a case of me asking him if he wanted to go to camp or do stuff with me - at 10yrs old he elected to go spend time with his mates instead of his mum.

I probably should have told him that he's making me look like a shit parent though right?

YokoHama · 03/04/2018 17:46

^The whole idea of being a SAHP is to be there for the DC, not offload them. As a WOHP, I needed those camps and it's a bit galling to find the spaces taken up by the DC of SAHPs.
It is all parents' business.^

Senua - You usually post well thought out and interesting posts. But in all my yrs on MN, this has got to be the daftest thing you've ever posted.

You have no idea about other peoples lives or why they need these camps. Their dc have just as much right to a holiday camp as yours. You or any other parent are not in any position to dictate which services other parents can use. So please give your head a wobble and get that silly idea out of your head.

NotAgainYoda · 03/04/2018 17:51

I don't want to keep biting, but the thing is, if she's a SAHM she is there every morning, every afternoon, and probably at every school event. So it's a load of bollocks to talk about 'offloading' the child
I would not dream of being rude about people who work (I have been a SAHM and a WOHM - no axe to grind).

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