To feel left out

[feelleftout]

NC as potentially outing.

I helped to organise a weekend away for 10 friends - Friday to Sunday - with the understanding we would travel by car with 4 people driving.

Discussing getting there I confirmed check in was from 5pm. Disgruntled looks all around and I find out everyone else has planned on leaving in the morning "to get the most out of the weekend". Fair enough but I cannot leave before 4pm.

I call the booking and make arrangements for an earlier check in. So everyone now happy and start organising lifts. I repeat I cannot leave until 4 so I get "book the day off!" - I can't I work in a school and it's term time. Then "can't you chuck a sickie?" - I wouldn't, I support vulnerable children who can't cope with change. I say I'll look into getting the train then.

Train would cost £40 and I wouldn't get there until noon on Saturday. So I've told the group I can't come.

Am I being unreasonable thinking that one driver out of the 4 could wait for me to join the weekend? I'd do it if roles were reversed. I couldn't see one person missing out.

Bitoutofpractice bully for you.

My mum lives 1.2 hours away and it will cost me £30-£40 there and back.

Your input and mine, not only are totally different ergo not relevant to the OP, but even more irrelevant what with her not having a car for the weekend.

My apologies. That should have been to @Elise not @abitoutofpractice

Sorry @JustVent? Bully for you? I wasn't boasting! I was saying it costs me a lot more!

Cross post!

Ah! OK! I was confused then!

I'd like t know where Elise buys her petrol though!

OP hope you enjoy your weekend now you're all sorted with megabus used to get it back and forth to Newcastle all the time great cheap as chips transport!

YADNBU you're friends have done a pretty shitty thing, they knew you couldn't take time off at the drop of a hat or pull a sickie (schools are so hot on that now) and if I was you I couldn't rustle up an extra £40...I had some friends do something similar on my hen do...meant to go to a bar what was booked by my DH (fiancé at the time) he had paid for a booth, champagne, waiter service etc...two of the Hen party veered a few people off to another bar as they were after some lads they'd met earlier in another bar and tried to change the time of the booth (and nearly got it cancelled) etc was not impressed and got rid of friendships (wasn't just that a lot of other stuff too over the run up and after our wedding). I'm quite surprised at some of the nasty comments from others posters...as you clearly put reasons why you couldn't afford it, husband using car etc

Anyway glad you got sorted hope you enjoy it

Glad you're sorted now, and hope you have a good time. I wouldn't have rearranged check in if I knew that someone couldn't leave earlier, and I think your mates are a bit shit for leaving you in the lurch like that.

So you never intended on checking in at 5, (as you are 2.5 hrs away and finish at 4).
You never arranged how to get there, just assumed someone would be taking you.
And you are so so skint but can still justify spending money on a weekend away. Bonkers.

And you are so so skint but can still justify spending money on a weekend away. Bonkers

That doesn't make any sense, if you have a finite amount of money you choose what to spend it on. When it's all spent you can't spend any more but that doesn't mean your choices up to that point are bonkers. Is no one allowed to plan their spending so that they can do things they enjoy unless they have a contingency fund?

Your husband should give you the car for the weekend or drive you, or pay for a hire car. It's churlish not to. Mine would at the drop of a hat. Even it was 500 miles to Scotland.

Have you read the OP's posts Jon66? This has been going on all week and she's already answered that point

"Why didn't you organise it for a school holiday weekend"

Why should she have done? It was going to be a normal weekend from Friday after work till Sunday. It's the others who decided afterwards to go Friday morning.

"If someone had organised something and said check in time is 5pm, then it is strange to be surprised that most will have organised to get there by then."

The checkin time is usually FROM a certain time. You don't usually have to be there the second checkin opens. It's often around midday, but people arrive in the evening.

patti makes perfect sense to me. If I was so desperate I couldn’t afford £30 contingency money then no, I wouldn’t do a weekend away.

patti makes perfect sense to me. If I was so desperate I couldn’t afford £30 contingency money then no, I wouldn’t do a weekend away.
So, a very mumsnet answer - the poor OP shouldn't have been going away with friends anyway, unless she has plenty of spare cash!

Shame on you OP, no treats until you are comfortably off - perhaps another 5 years, and we could review your situation on here, and decide if you can make a little weekend trip .
Hope you have great time OP.

"If someone had organised something and said check in time is 5pm, then it is strange to be surprised that most will have organised to get there by then."
This has been stated twice now - I really wonder if the people who have said it have ever stayed in a hotel, or a self catering place! Do they really plan everything to arrive early, and wait ready for the earliest possible check in time?

I've never done that, and when I check in somewhere in a friday, at about 7pm, the desk usually seems busy with other people, also checking in.

No need to go over the top qwerty I didn’t say plenty. It’s just I wouldn’t go spending a fair amount on a weekend if I didn’t have more than £30 contingency money. OP is very much entitled to time away I’m sure, but relying on other people to transport you without them knowing was always going to end badly. As it is she has found £10 to get her there on a Saturday but she has missed a whole evening of fun and catch up time.

Go and have fun this weekend.
Mental note though these people aren’t your real friends. A true friend wouldn’t leave you in the lurch like this.
Make the most off the weekend and think about evaluating your friendships on your return. Fair weather springs to mind

I think it’s fine for you’re friends to maximise the weekend and go early. Why don’t you take the family car and let your kids use taxis/buses or bunk off the weekend activity.

If you’re like most mums who give give give, I’m sure it won’t hurt for your kids to consider your needs for a change

Maybe your DH could hire a car Saturday and Sunday

This has been stated twice now - I really wonder if the people who have said it have ever stayed in a hotel, or a self catering place! Do they really plan everything to arrive early, and wait ready for the earliest possible check in time?hmm

Yes me (us) - we have a early flight and will arrive at 10 am. Check in is at 3pm. We will sit and have coffee/beers/catch up/ relax . We could have got a flight a bit later but we want to make the most of our break. It’s a girls weekend away and we want to make the most of it

but relying on other people to transport you without them knowing was always going to end badly.

But they did know. OP has said that when they discussed it, the travel arrangements were also discussed and they were all going to be sharing cars. OP is not the only one getting a lift with others.

• WAS not the only one.

Get a train to the nearest station then taxi, perhaps?

OP said the nearest station is an hour and a half away. That would be an expensive taxi.

Anyway, she's sorted it. She's getting a coach.