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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I’m not, am I?

145 replies

MaiaRindell · 01/04/2018 22:09

I’m taking my two DDs (8 and 11) to Orlando on Friday. ExDH has booked a last minute trip to Disneyland Paris tomorrow. He hasn’t told me this

OP posts:
Atalune · 01/04/2018 22:11

Did you tell him about your trip?

Nicknacky · 01/04/2018 22:11

What’s your main issue? It’s totally different holidays.

CanIBuffalo · 01/04/2018 22:12

Does his trip mean they can't go on yours?

Original poster
MaiaRindell · 01/04/2018 22:12

Oops.
But the kids have said. We just agreed he would have them for a few days over the holidays.
Anyway, tonight, my 8yo asked to take a skirt I bought her for Florida. I said no because my ex DH loses everything, including an entire case last year. Very little us returned or even replaced/reimbursed.
Anyway, ex DH assumed I would pack a case for the kids. He never asked me. It’s now 10pm and they are leaving at 7am. Everything is either dirty or packed for Florida so I have said no. Aibu?

OP posts:
Lilonetwo · 01/04/2018 22:13

So does this mean you are all going on two consecutive holidays? Or you will have to forgo one?

Alienspaceship · 01/04/2018 22:14

YANBU

TalkFastThinkSlow · 01/04/2018 22:15

Could you clarify. Is it possible to go on both, or not?

Nicknacky · 01/04/2018 22:15

To be honest it’s peobaly different clothes they need. It will be cold in Paris, yep he should have given you notice but if it’s a last minute booking then did he have the time?

How fab for the kids having two great holidays!

Notallthat · 01/04/2018 22:15

Would you have packed a case if they were going to stay at his for a few days?

VladmirsPoutine · 01/04/2018 22:15

When did he tell you about the Paris trip and how long is the Paris trip planned for?

letsdolunch321 · 01/04/2018 22:15

YANBU, he will soon realise assuming doesn’t make things happen.

The common sense thing would have been to ask you.

TalkFastThinkSlow · 01/04/2018 22:15

Oh wait, this is about packing their clothes?

Original poster
MaiaRindell · 01/04/2018 22:15

Sorry - I accidentally posted too soon. The issue is about the assumption I would pack without being asked. I’m already packing for Friday so my cases are being used. The kids’ clothes are either in a massive pile of furry laundry or packed already. Ex DH has just called me a f’ing bitch.

OP posts:
BrutusMcDogface · 01/04/2018 22:15

Bloody hell. No, you are not being unreasonable as he has only just sprung this on you!! I can understand him feeling a bit sad that you're taking them to Disney, but if he wanted to do this he should have planned it a long time ago and sorted out stuff for them himself. He sounds like an awkward fucker.

LIZS · 01/04/2018 22:15

Presumably it is only a few days and the weather will be colder in Paris. Pack a few of their older winter things. Assuming dc are old enough they can manage their own bags.

NapQueen · 01/04/2018 22:16

Eh? Presumably he doesnt have to do any prep for the holiday you are going on....so why would he expect you to do any for the one he is going on?

Nicknacky · 01/04/2018 22:16

But don’t you have to park for them going to their dad any way?

drinkyourmilk · 01/04/2018 22:16

If they live with you most of the time I would assume you were packing a case too tbh. Though I also would have kept you informed of my plans, and I would also return stuff!

CastielIsMyAngel · 01/04/2018 22:17

I don't really understand...

Original poster
MaiaRindell · 01/04/2018 22:17

Because so many things have gone missing (whole outfits, coats, trainers) I now pack nothing for them. They have clothes at his house.

OP posts:
ZoeWashburne · 01/04/2018 22:17

What was your plan to send the kids with if they weren’t going to France? What were you going to have them wear until Friday?

I mean, your ex is obviously trying to compete with your Orlando holiday (which honestly Paris in April won’t really compare). Don’t get sucked into it.

NotTakenUsername · 01/04/2018 22:18

Of course you are not being unreasonable op. When did he spring this one on you? He sounds clueless and irresponsible.

BrutusMcDogface · 01/04/2018 22:18

Oh, good point though by a pp: would you have been packing their stuff for staying st his? In which case, they'll need the same sort of stuff (cold weather/rainy etc) so that's fine, isn't it?

EllaLavella · 01/04/2018 22:18

If they have clothes at his house then he should pack for the holiday he is taking them on. The fact that he's just called you a fucking bitch speaks volumes about the type of person that he is!

NapQueen · 01/04/2018 22:18

If the agreement is that they have clothes at his house anyways then exdh can chuck those clothes into suitcases.