I’m not, am I?

[MaiaRindell]

I’m taking my two DDs (8 and 11) to Orlando on Friday. ExDH has booked a last minute trip to Disneyland Paris tomorrow. He hasn’t told me this

Makingdinner- the op has stated that its taken her 4 years to save for this holiday, have you not considered that she may not be able to afford keep replacing clothes she's already paid for. Her ex on the other hand has booked a last minute trip to paris, doesn't sound like he's short of cash to me.

That's not really the point though, he should have clothes for his kids there. I'm sure he won't be helping in anyway when the op is packing for holiday. And ffs, these kids are going on two holidays in the space of a month, hardly neglected

He sounds like an absolute wanker. I think you’ve handled it remarkably well OP. I hope you have a fantastic time in Orlando!

I would be really suspicious about this, especially given his prior knobhead behaviour. I would be extremely concerned he would "lose" the passports so you couldn't go, be late back so you miss flights or just make things incredibly difficult time wise so you are running late. Seems a tactical fuck-over to me.

Lacucuracha if op has booked a holiday to Orlando she's probably not short of cash. She could just ask for the full suitcases back? Is that classed as standing up to him? If he's a shit as she thinks he'll expect her to wash it all anyway no?

You cannot possibly know his actions are deliberate provocation from ops comments alone. He's taking his kids to Disneyland fed how awful he is.

Wow, just ask for a full suitcase back, what a simple solution!!!

Do you really think OP hasn't tried asking for the clothes back?!

And OP has saved years for this holiday, why should she blow her money on clothes that will end up in an abyss at ex's never to be seen again?

He is provocative, demanding a suitcase at 10pm when the girls are going the next morning. He didn't even tell OP where he's taking them!

He also knows he will have the passport and could ruin the Orlando holiday by not bringing the girls back on time. He has OP over a barrell.

This is about control. As OP said, he has wardrobes of clothes for the girls at his home.

@makingdinner I have saved for four years to go to Orlando. I haven't been on holiday with the kids since I separated.

I have taken the 'moral high ground' on every holiday and most weekends until last year when so many things had been 'lost' that I started refusing.

I don't want to take the risk of losing my DDs' clothes because my exDH can't be bothered to pack the clothes he has at his house.
And he is awful. He is thoughtless, sensitive, huffy, moody, aggressive and defiant. He is not devious. He wouldn't refuse to give me the passports I don't think. But he could lose them/not care enough to look after them. But nothing he does would surprise me.

Doesn't he have to have your permission to take them out of the country anyway?

Sort out maintenance via CMS so that he can't keep threatening to withhold it every time he has a hissy fit.

GnotherGnu, the op could try to stop him taking them out the country but if he's on the birth certificate he can do the same back.

This fucking bullshit is domestic abuse and men who do it should go to prison.

You cannot possibly know his actions are deliberate provocation from ops comments alone. He's taking his kids to Disneyland fed how awful he is.

I’m more than happy to conclude he is a dickhead for taking his kids to DLP and that his actions are deliberately provocative.

OP - are you telling us that, in full knowledge of the fact that the kids are going on a mega two- week Disney holiday to Florida, this ex has decided to book a Disney mini-break in Paris a few days before you are due to leave???

That would aggravate me more than the packing request. Talk about stealing your thunder. Unbelievable! Too right he should have taken them to Centerparcs - or anywhere else really. There is a good chance they'll be Disney-ed out before they arrive in Florida.

Is he that dense or has he specifically done this on purpose?

Of course it's on purpose, he's an arse.
I really hope he doesn't "lose" the passports for spite.

It's totally done on purpose, but more in a huffy "if you can take them so can I" way. He isn't spiteful enough to lose the passports. He wouldn't do that to his kids, I don't think.
Still no child support, though!

Oh, he’s such a cliche, isn’t he?

Depressingly so, @NotTakenUsername

Perhaps time to go to CMS...

I wonder if the with holding maintenance is to impact on your holiday either through £ or stress! Then there will be "I'm paying you too much if you can afford Orlando"

NotTakenUsername Thank you so much for telling me to fuck off because I think that the children would be upset at not having their clothes packed for them.
You sound charming!
Sometimes where children's feelings are concerned, the bickering between parents should stop. If one of them, the most considerate, OP maybe, has to back down, when the children are in the middle of a spiteful argument, then I think she should.

It's not all about, point scoring and getting one over in the other and if he is an arseholes then she should rise above it.

Yes! For the sake of the children.
All you seem to want to do is add fuel to the fire! Try to make OP more angry,
which isn't really helpful, is it?
That's my opinion and I'm entitled to it without some man hating harridan telling me to fuck off.

You're embarrassing yourself now!
Do you really think that people will think you clever and witty?
You're just confirming the type of person you are.

Odfod

are the Kids and the Passport back OP