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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask all Irish women to please show solidarity today?

349 replies

RottenTomatoes959 · 29/03/2018 08:20

Please join the rallies in support of the victim in belfast today,theres rallies in Dublin belfast and cork. Enough is enough and we can not take this one lying down. Show support to the brave young woman and lets not have this trial be in vain.
Something has to change.

OP posts:
TinklyLittleLaugh · 29/03/2018 13:14

they left her bruised and bleeding and then bragged about it

No one is disputing they did this. It is a fact. I don't think the men who did this should carry on like they are some sort of fucking heroes.

RosaDeZoett · 29/03/2018 13:24

Metryshitmas you were extremely brave. That was actually what I was thinking when I look at my daughter, what would I tell her to do? I absolutely understand where your own mother was coming from ré reporting to bring about change. But I think I agree with you. Unfortunately I would tell my daughter not to bother. I'm so sorry for the double pain you had to go through, and thank you for sharing your experience.

EightdaysaweekIloveu · 29/03/2018 13:27

Today 12:44 Trinity66

This a northern Ireland both Irish and British interest lie here so its only right that people in southern Ireland stand up with this girl

Absolutely, especially since the some of the men actually played Rugby for the Irish team as well.

I agree with you, what I was getting at is that British women aren't aware of this case to the extent Irish women are.

It has been a very distressing case. Because women are up in arms about it in Ireland the word feminist is be thrown back at us like a dirty word.the reaction on social media was a disgrace, she was branded a slut, loose, she should go to jail etc. I found yesterday a very difficult day.

Graphista · 29/03/2018 13:29

One thing I would like to see massively changed is the appalling comments made by some judges to the jury in the guise of "legal advice" which also happened in this case.

"Consent in some situations may be given enthusiastically, whereas in others it is given with reluctance, but nonetheless it is still consent."

Also as a pp said the rape myths crap being supported in court. Including "she didn't fight them off"

Firstly when under attack people tend to do one of THREE things - not 2 - fight, flight...or freeze.

In rape in particular there's tonic immobility too

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/tonic-immobility-rape-victims-cant-fight-back-sexual-assault-men-women-a7776736.html

This should be made clear by the prosecution and if not by the judge - redress the balance of judges comments supporting rapists.

The victims sexual history is IRRELEVANT it being raised needs to be stopped - inc when the defence tries to sneak it in!

The imbalance in how long the victim was in the witness box for v the defendants needs to be addressed.

I'm also sick of seeing not guilty equated with innocent - that's not true. Especially in rape cases there has to be significant evidence before it even GETS to court.

Lostjanni you in particular seem to need to learn this.

In this particular case (and I felt the same with ched Evans) what WOULD have a huge impact is paying fans refusing to pay any more, to stop supporting the teams these vile men play for. That would if enough people did it, at least make clubs think twice about continuing to employ them. Hopefully long term they would work to change the extreme rape culture within sport if only to protect their own income.

The thing I find most depressing is that I honestly think in the last 15-20 years misogyny and rape culture is getting WORSE - why?

EightdaysaweekIloveu · 29/03/2018 13:30

Merryshitmas, don't shut up, keep talking...

4Funnels · 29/03/2018 13:32

@BlueSapp

"they did it but there was just not enough physical evidence to convict them in a court of law"

Says who? You?

NeverTalksToStrangers · 29/03/2018 13:37

I'm very much torn about this whole case. Those lads are entitled scumbags but I cannot say with certainty that I believe her based on what I've read about the case, so unfortunately imo the jury was correct not to convict. Nothing has been proven and we can't send people to prison simply because we know they show women no respect. And we can't assume someone is telling the truth because they are female.

It's a horrible, horrible case. At least it will put most sensible women off the idea of going anywhere near the 4 of them.

Wheresmyfuckingcupcake · 29/03/2018 13:38

Was the direction re reluctance actually given?
Is that a routine judicial direction in these cases now?
That seems absolutely incredible to me!

applesisapple5 · 29/03/2018 13:39

#ibelieveher and simultaneously wish I were in Ireland to attend a rally to express it in person, while being very glad I do not live in Ireland if this is how women are treated.
I hope many many men also attend these rallies, I see on FB many men speaking up in support of the victim, it's just such an awful outcome.

Lizzie48 · 29/03/2018 13:43

The judge's comments were appalling, and show a breathtaking ignorance of how a woman reacts when she's being raped. I remember that when I was abused as a child I used to lie on the bed and think, 'This is a nightmare, I'm going to wake up soon.' Fighting off isn't possible, especially if, as in this case, you're outnumbered. You just lie there waiting for it to be over. It's called a survival mechanism.

Silence does NOT equal consent. I really can't understand why some people find that so hard to understand. Hmm

Wheresmyfuckingcupcake · 29/03/2018 13:45

Just read the journal report.
It beggars belief that defence counsel asked her why she didn’t ask the man who entered the room with his penis in his hand to help her.
The trial judge needs to be asking herself some serious fucking questions here.
Also the double standards - using derogatory language about women can’t be evidence of propensity to rape them, dear me no. But every shred of sexual or quasi sexual behaviour of the complainant gets dragged in.

Dulra · 29/03/2018 13:48

while being very glad I do not live in Ireland if this is how women are treated
Wow did you just make that statement applesisapple5? You need to check yourself. This happened in Northern Ireland as in Britain. The trial took place in a British court of law. Really inappropriate to taint irish men with that sweeping statement

Trinity66 · 29/03/2018 13:48

while being very glad I do not live in Ireland if this is how women are treated

tbf I think women being treated like this is pretty universal, incidentally its Northern Ireland so a UK court not a ROI one

BlueSapp · 29/03/2018 13:49

4funnels
Says the medical evidence gathered,
says the blood stained knickers she was wearing,
says the fact that she has gone to the length of possibly damaging her mental health more with nothing to gain from putting herself forward except the piece of mind that they would be punished!
says the disgusting vile words that they typed the next and subsequent days,
says the fact that one of them has apologied!!!!! after the trial

I BELIEVE HER!

Graphista · 29/03/2018 13:49

Wheresmyfuckingcupcake

Yes that's a direct quote, in addition that's not even CLOSE to the worst comments given by judges in rape trials there's been horrific victim blaming comments by some. And worse - often by women judges!

Wheresmyfuckingcupcake · 29/03/2018 13:51

Trial judge seems to have done an extremely bad job here.

MikeWyzowski · 29/03/2018 13:52

Eh apple? Did you miss the latest memo that Northern Ireland is under British law and not Irish? It happened on the island of Ireland but in Northern Ireland which has been part of Britain for a while now Hmm

SoupyNorman · 29/03/2018 13:54

very glad I do not live in Ireland if this is how women are treated.

You do realise this case was in the U.K.? Hmm

Stillscreaming · 29/03/2018 14:01

The Cork demonstration got on the 1 o'clock news, a few people were interviewed and then the reporters got everyone to shout 'we believe her', in unison and it was introduced as 'a message to the Belfast woman, from the women of Cork'. It would seem that the local news station isn't worried about being sued.

Graphista · 29/03/2018 14:05

Not only did THIS case happen in NI which is part of uk, there have been similarly awful cases on mainland uk - have you not heard of ched Evans, Adam Johnson, Marlon King?

Stillscreaming · 29/03/2018 14:06

There's a petition for anyone who would like rape myth education for people serving on juries.

petition.parliament.uk/petitions/209573

Wheresmyfuckingcupcake · 29/03/2018 14:14

Hello women of cork! You are rather wonderful I think

Graphista · 29/03/2018 14:18

Signed - can we add judges to that training please?

Trinity66 · 29/03/2018 14:20

Hello women of cork! You are rather wonderful I think

Thank You Grin

Maryz · 29/03/2018 14:24

Just putting in a link to the IRFU petition.

www.change.org/p/irfu-conduct-a-review-of-jackson-olding-macilroy-and-harrison-s-behaviour

They may have been acquitted of rape, but their admitted attitudes and behaviour make them very questionable as representatives for their country Hmm

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