Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sex before a night out

176 replies

overduemamma · 28/03/2018 22:34

Don't really know where this would go so apologises. I am going on a night out tomorrow and Friday and my partner thinks I must give him sex before I go out (also at a time where I don't have time to shower after) he's always been like this and it forever drains me that he asks me. I have asked why he always seems to ask when I go out and he says I'm less likely to cheat! I've never cheated and never would, we've been together 11 years and have 2 beautiful children together. I just find it odd!

OP posts:
balsamicbarbara · 29/03/2018 23:29

It is imperative you get away from this predatory rapist ASAP if only for your children's safety!

DairyisClosed · 29/03/2018 23:36

Well he is an idiot. I fir one want several rounds most nights. If I only have sex once with DH it feels like I've only just started for the night. On the other hand if I haven't has any sex that day I am less likely to want some. I'm like one of those people who never eats chips then has one and has to finish the whole bag.

DairyisClosed · 29/03/2018 23:40

Oh and obviously he's a nasty man, ltb etc. But I can't get over how stupid his reasoning is. What a ridiculous conclusion to draw.

Gemini69 · 29/03/2018 23:45

sorry OP.. but he sound utterly repulsive... just gross... I hope you still manage to go on your night out Flowers

Daddystepdaddy · 29/03/2018 23:46

Tell him where to go.

sleep5 · 30/03/2018 00:25

He sounds insecure. Can you do nights out with him tagging along?

ConciseandNice · 30/03/2018 00:31

This makes my stomach churn. Seriously, he’s abusing you and what’s most upsetting is you’ve been with This knob for a decade and are only just realising it. This is not normal behaviour. It is territorial pissing. What an UTTER FUCKNUT. You can put it down to insecurity or general ‘not good at interpersonal behaviour’, but he’s basically treating you like shit. You’ve been together a decade, he doesn’t trust you and he’s raping you every time you want a night out. Fucking hell.

ObiJuanKenobi · 30/03/2018 00:44

Angry what an awful person he is.
Are you ok OP?

ConciseandNice · 30/03/2018 00:47

@ObiJuanKenobi this is a good point. I think a lot of us, I am definitely included, forgot this in our disgust and rage. I hope you’re ok OP. I really do.

DistanceCall · 30/03/2018 01:06

Tell him you're multiorgasmic, and cumming once will only trigger you later.

No, seriously. This man is abusive. Run.

Italiangreyhound · 30/03/2018 01:19

"my partner thinks I must" I'd stop right there! You are a grown up adult women, there is no 'must'.

Nasty and controlling, weird and lacking in confidence, and a whole bunch more words that spell out a nasty man.

Italiangreyhound · 30/03/2018 01:24

@overduemamma "I've tried to chuck him out plenty of times, he won't leave, he's on the tenancy, says if we want to split I have to move out and leave the kids with him. No chance!"

Speak to women's aid. he sound like a nasty man, not someone I would willingly be having sex with, or living with. What is this teaching your kids? Mums and Dads stay together because dad threatens mum?

www.womensaid.org.uk/

CatStacks · 30/03/2018 01:26

this is weird op

mm2one · 30/03/2018 01:54

He sounds insecure OP.

DistanceCall · 30/03/2018 02:07

Insecure? He sounds a fucking abuser.

coconuttella · 30/03/2018 07:06

Tell him you're multiorgasmic, and cumming once will only trigger you later.

It wouldn’t surprise me if this abuser wasn’t concerned about giving her an orgasm... in the OPs words, he expects that she “gives him sex”.

coconuttella · 30/03/2018 07:14

"I've tried to chuck him out plenty of times, he won't leave, he's on the tenancy, says if we want to split I have to move out and leave the kids with him. No chance!"

This is chilling.... he’s attempting to force you to remain with him, by threatening that you’ll lose your children if you don’t submit.

You need to find a way to LTB... Women’s Aid is a good starting point. Do you have family and friends that could help?

Angrybird345 · 30/03/2018 07:19

How repulsive! Get a plan in action to move away with your kids

Wallywobbles · 30/03/2018 08:00

Judging you by his own moral compass I suspect.

Calvinlookingforhobbs · 30/03/2018 08:10

I’m not judging you but it does take two to make the situation happen.

Calvinlookingforhobbs · 30/03/2018 08:11

(Not that it is your doing, or your faults but but if you agree)

Accountant222 · 30/03/2018 08:40

My friends DH insisted on this, so she wouldn't want it whilst she was out, as if !

Masterbuilders · 30/03/2018 09:54

I know someone who was like this and he was awfully abusive. This I can guarantee is the tip of the iceberg. Therefore if op is just starting to find the confidence now to question behaviours. Please don’t scare her off.

RandomMess · 30/03/2018 10:03

Please speak to Woman's aid there are ways for you to leave with the DC they will help you Thanks

BitOutOfPractice · 30/03/2018 10:15

says if we want to split I have to move out and leave the kids with him. No chance!

Just because he says it, it doesn't make it true

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.