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AIBU?

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Original poster

Sex before a night out

176 replies

overduemamma · 28/03/2018 22:34

Don't really know where this would go so apologises. I am going on a night out tomorrow and Friday and my partner thinks I must give him sex before I go out (also at a time where I don't have time to shower after) he's always been like this and it forever drains me that he asks me. I have asked why he always seems to ask when I go out and he says I'm less likely to cheat! I've never cheated and never would, we've been together 11 years and have 2 beautiful children together. I just find it odd!

OP posts:
Takfujuimoto · 28/03/2018 23:37

Sexual demands and sulking always gets me hot for a shag, however could you refuse Hmm

What a nasty piece of shit you have there op.

Really if any man talked to me like this or held any expectation that it would work I'd fuck him off.

Have you actually given in before? 😮

Please you deserve soooooo much better.

Puffycat · 28/03/2018 23:38

Eeeeeuuuuuughghgh

VodkaRusschian · 28/03/2018 23:38

If you don't want this to go on for another 11 years you need to take action sooner rather than later. I've never been where you are but there looks to be plenty of advice from posters who've been through similar. What you have described can never be ok.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 28/03/2018 23:41

Horrible. I would recommended you have sex with a man who respects you and wants you to enjoy it. That’s clearly not your DP.

Ethylred · 28/03/2018 23:42

Sounds fun to me.

Original poster
overduemamma · 28/03/2018 23:43

Teeniefae don't speak like that about my kids. They are 3 and 1 and would never do anything like that around them or 'put a dvd' on for them!!

OP posts:
LemonysSnicket · 28/03/2018 23:43

He’s cheating on you.

pinkstinks · 28/03/2018 23:46

Have you heard of The Freedom Programme?

This is a classic tactic of “The Sexual Controller” and “The Jailor” have a Google and maybe try to get to a local group it will help, you aren’t alone.

CadyHeron · 28/03/2018 23:46

I am going on a night out tomorrow and Friday and my partner thinks I must give him sex before I go out (also at a time where I don't have time to shower after) he's always been like this and it forever drains me that he asks me. I have asked why he always seems to ask when I go out and he says I'm less likely to cheat! I've never cheated and never would, we've been together 11 years and have 2 beautiful children together. I just find it odd!

Whaaaa?! No. It is odd, and weird!! Do it if you want to of course, but his reasoning is beyond all sense of normal!
Tell him nope and and go enjoy your night out! If he trusts you,he trusts you. You're not likely to go off shagging someone else just because you haven't been seen to before you go out the door. Confused Hmm

Eveforever · 28/03/2018 23:50

This isn't sounding good. Do you want to stay in this relationship?

FellOutOfBed2wice · 28/03/2018 23:50

I’ve got a friend with a husband who does this. Surprisingly he’s a controlling, creepy weirdo.

MadMags · 28/03/2018 23:51

Ew.

CadyHeron · 28/03/2018 23:54

OK, was only replying to the OP and now seen these additions in the thread now I'm catching up on it.
I've come to bed as he's currently sulking because I've said no!
I hope you're still going out tomorrow? Don't let him make you feel bad for goingI
I've tried to chuck him out plenty of times, he won't leave, he's on the tenancy, says if we want to split I have to move out and leave the kids with him. No chance!
Doesn't sound like it's any relationship in the first place, so why feel you owe him anything? Just go out. You don't owe him anything as doesn't sound like you're together in the first place.

Puffycat · 28/03/2018 23:55

LemonysSnicket is on the right track
Ps good book Lemony

OliviaStabler · 28/03/2018 23:58

How long before you can leave the rental?

Follyfoot · 28/03/2018 23:59

Please do not have sex with him. In fact I would make him wait a few weeks.

No no no. Make him wait a lifetime, please dont ever have sex with him again. Boot his sorry arse out of the door.

snewsname · 29/03/2018 00:02

Do you do it because he expects it at any other time as well?

CircleSquareCircleSquare · 29/03/2018 00:02

Wow he is a twat and a half.

stayanotherday · 29/03/2018 00:10

Please please don't take this anymore, it's horrible. You deserve better. Please call Women's aid.

VladmirsPoutine · 29/03/2018 00:11

So if I'm understanding correctly, you are not married to him but share a joint tenancy agreement and 2 children?

PickAChew · 29/03/2018 00:13

Tell him to fuck himself.

PickAChew · 29/03/2018 00:17

And surely moving into a spare room or studio flat with the kids eoube better than this. If he objects, he can pay for something bigger because I bet he doesn't do childcare.

LittleMyLikesSnuffkin · 29/03/2018 00:21

Common abusers tactic. Nasty, controlling and used to make you feel uncomfortable and spoil your night out. Have you heard of the freedom programme? There’s a whole chapter about sexual abuse.

1310j · 29/03/2018 00:22

Seriously Teenie? You think no-one ever has sex while their children are in the house? What a weird thing to pick up on from this post.

OP, none of this is normal. Get out asap!

Juiceylucy09 · 29/03/2018 00:23

I have not rtft, I had a friend who's EXDH always insisted on a shag before she left.

His reasons for this was every time he went on a boys night he would get really horny and cheat on her, by having sex with my friend in his mind she wouldn't get horny when she was out.

Does he go out much alone.

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