Sex before a night out

[overduemamma]

Don't really know where this would go so apologises. I am going on a night out tomorrow and Friday and my partner thinks I must give him sex before I go out (also at a time where I don't have time to shower after) he's always been like this and it forever drains me that he asks me. I have asked why he always seems to ask when I go out and he says I'm less likely to cheat! I've never cheated and never would, we've been together 11 years and have 2 beautiful children together. I just find it odd!

Wow. Surely if he’s that paranoid and controlling it doesn’t stop there? Is he the perfect partner in every other respect OP?

Definitely odd, he is marking you as his, what a controlling arse he is!

yuk. Revolting man. Find yourself someone better while you're out. You are not his property that needs marking, you are not a sex object and he clearly thinks you've no morals. Move on!

Can't believe you've put up with 11yrs of this.

Have you been putting up with this for 11 years? Most pps here wouldn't put up with it once. It's not normal and it's massively disrespectful. It would be a deal breaker for me. I couldn't live with that mentality.

If my DP did this, it would make me more likely to go out and shag some random stranger I met in a bar! (Not that i actually do that kind of thing).

I think if I was the cheating type having sex with DH then later having more sex with a horny young stud type would be the way to go. But I’m not.

Your husband is a bampot. Hope you’re not agreeing to the sex demands.

What does that say about him? If he goes out for the night having not had sex, is he victim to some insatiable urge to shag someone like a bloody mutt?

Yep 11 years. I've tried to chuck him out plenty of times, he won't leave, he's on the tenancy, says if we want to split I have to move out and leave the kids with him. No chance!

It's not about whAt he says & the relationship doesn't sound too healthy. Sad situation

Territorial marking. You give him sex and have to go out smelling of it? I'm so sorry that you are putting up with this shit. What a vile man.

You're in an abusive marriage. Can you call Women's Aid for advice and then LTB.

Your dh sounds gross.. plus i wouldnt want to go out with a dirty vag and sweaty from dtd.

Christ almighty - just dot. Have sex with him.

From your last post you don’t even sound like you like him
(With good cause)

Yes. Call Women's Aid. You are in an abusive relationship and can get support to end it

It will stop you having sex with other men = I'm going to insult you by saying I don't trust you.

Stop having sex with him. Your body isn't a bargaining chip.
I would be telling him to either pack it in or pack up.

While reminding him that some blokes aren't fussy about sloppy seconds.

Whaaaat?

Odd? Really. He really has warped your sense of normal. It is nasty abuse.

But you don't have to move out and leave the kids with him, so that shouldn't hold you back - he's talking shite.

Please call Womens Aid.

Echoing everyone else OP, controlling behaviour/ emotional abuse, you’re a possession to him. My XP was exactly the same. You can’t reason with him, this type of men firmly believe this sort of shit that comes out of their mouths.

Please seek support, Women’s Aid are there to help.

Where will your children be while this is going on?
"Here kids, watch a dvd, mummy and daddy are going upstairs for a while"
🤢

Oh yuck. This is quite unheard of AFAIK. He sounds a bit pervy and with a weird attitude to sex.

OK, so that this doesn't go on for ages, you know this is wrong; it sounds like he is an arsehole anyway. Do you want to split up and if so, can you see a solicitor? Do you have any support in RL?

He’s a grim rapist.

Get legal advice and don’t be afraid of contacting the police about him.

Be brave my love. Ring Women’s Aid.

You find it odd because it is odd,very very odd.Make it clear that you'll have sex with him if and when you're in the mood for it, and tell him to go and seek help about his trust issues.