Sex before a night out

[overduemamma]

Don't really know where this would go so apologises. I am going on a night out tomorrow and Friday and my partner thinks I must give him sex before I go out (also at a time where I don't have time to shower after) he's always been like this and it forever drains me that he asks me. I have asked why he always seems to ask when I go out and he says I'm less likely to cheat! I've never cheated and never would, we've been together 11 years and have 2 beautiful children together. I just find it odd!

Abusive arse, he is.

I’ve come to this thread very late, but I can’t move on without saying this:

You don’t “give” someone sex. You either want to do it for yourself or it is rape.

Get out.

LTB

Seriously you have to ask on here if this is ok?

It’s abusive and weird, he doesn’t trust you, he wants to mark his teratory before you go out, he thinks it will stop you cheating because you will be dirty from having sex with him? This is so wrong.

I usually find, men that are insecure are insecure because they know that them themselves are capable of cheating. Any normal man wouldn’t consider their partner would cheat on a night out because they trust each other and love each other.

This man is an abusive, controlling ass hole, leave him or it will drive you crazy.

I find this behaviour is just disgusting, it is so awful. How on earth can you put up with this ? It is so demeaning.

If you feel the need to ask the question, you already know the answer.

DH used to work with a woman whose husband "let her" give him a blow job in the airport car park before he went away without her (stags etc) to "stop him straying " . WTF is it with these knobs and why do women accept this shit?

It's like he is marking his territory. Just makes my skin crawl for you I'm so sorry.

That’s very disturbing,
On the rare occasion my and DH go out and are away in a hotel or something we often have sex before we go out (and before we shower) as we have learnt from experience that we often fall asleep after a few drinks and don’t get round to it later!! But that is consensual and nothing to do with stopping the other one cheating.

Haven't read the thread but if no one has already mentioned it - do the Freedom programme either online or attend the course. You will find the answer very clearly there.

a previous poster mentioned marking you like a dog they're not wrong

He's marking his territory, which is a bit too caveman like in my opinion! Just say no, I'll be more than happy when I get home....but definitely not now!

He is a pathetic controlling weak piss of shit!

Don't just accept what he is telling you re how it needs to be when you split up - get decent legal advice, start making plans to lead you life controlled only by you and not this sad excuse for a man.

As said upthread, have a look at the Freedom Program

piece

Embarrassing when one misspells ones name calling

This thread makes me feel sick. How can you even look at him let alone ever have sex with him again?

I'm a bit concerned that you seem more passionate about what PP said about your children than what this thread is about to be honest. Please don't tell me your going to put up with this any longer OP?

What does he do if you say no ? Have you ever said no ?

Is he this controlling all the time ? It's really not a healthy relationship -you don't 'have ' to have sex to go out.

Please call women's aid. I hope they'd be able to help you.

@overduemamma it is really odd and really eww. Have sex when you choose to and want to, end of. Planned sex, or rather dictated to planned sex is wrong on so many levels. By the way , hormones released by your body after sex make you more sexually attractive to others, fact. So his reasoning is even more bollocks!

Christ, he sounds revolting. I can only echo what everyone else is saying. Get out or get him out.

This is abject, its about control, possession & territory.
This is bound to be the tip of the iceberg.
You cannot live the rest of your life like this, You must know that.

bleurgh he's marking his territory. do you want to be 'his' to be marked?

take care and i'm glad you've said no.

Yuk. Its like a dog cocking his leg and weeing to leave his mark. Does he think he is Christian grey?

He might as well piss all over you instead. That’s just urghhhhh he’s marking his territory/possession.

He’s a controlling arse! I’d be walking out for my night out without ‘giving’ his sex and never going back to him

I just sicked up a bit in my throat.

OP you have my heartfelt sympathy.

I look back at so many men who tried to treat me like that, too, and it makes me so glad I am single and celibate. Forever!

Wtaf, you've asked him to leave loads of times, he refuses, so what, you just keep shagging him and having his babies?

I think there is much bigger problems than this little shitty scenario.

I agree Bluntness. The OP has wasted over a decade of her life on this low- life, and sadly nothing anyone on MN will say can change the fact the relationship is dysfunctional, likely fuelled by alcohol.

OP you've been given so much advice about your DH, it's difficult to know how to support you, you need to help us help you. What do you want to do, stay and keep giving him the best years of your life when he's treating you like a sex object, or move on and build a life away from him.

What kind of role model is he for your DC?

Decent men would never do this... But I suspect you know this OP.

I've come across it MANY times professionally in abusive relationships....

It's telling you everything you want or need to know about him...
The cop out when he's unfaithful 'you didn't give me sex, it's your fault'
Shows his level of trust- Assuming that you would automatically be unfaithful unless he 'marked' you- grim!

Please get out of this abusive man's life!