Or is she going ott?

[Scrambledheads]

I'm a member of a class group on Facebook for parents to share information, school trips, clubs etc. Last week there was a class trip to a local castle and the weather was really terrible. One of the mums posted on the morning of the trip saying 'Welly weather then' and I commented below saying 'looks like it, as long as they are well fitting as there are lots of twisty narrow stairs in the tower which are slippy when wet'. I wrote this knowing a notification would go out to other parents, most of whom won't have been to the castle and might not know about the twisting stone stairs.
I received a message from the mum who had made the original post and it said 'I've brought up an 18 year old on my own successfully so don't need your input. I was embarrassed and patronised by your comment and no longer feel able to post on the page'
I replied saying it wasn't directed at her but to warn parents who hadn't been there before, and that I didn't mean to be patronising at all. She then replied saying 'don't like being told what to do? No you wouldn't like that. I put up with this the first time round but not any more. My daughter has an unconditional offer to uni and I'm a great single mum so I don't need your advice'.
I should add that I've never had direct contact with this woman before. I can't help but feel tense that she thinks I was deliberately trying to patronise her... AIBU or is she reading too much into it??

First post was a cheery attempt to say “hey don’t forget your wellies everyone!”

Then OP peed on her fireworks by saying yes but only if well-fitting, I’m the real expert here.

I know that wasn’t how it was meant but I can see why the other mum interpreted that way. She was BU to message you though.

Wellies at dawn.

I wouldn't have found it patronising.. And tbf my kids possibly would have had ill-fitting wellies as they weren't something I tended to buy so would beg or borrow if they were needed for school trips, especially at this time of year when they wouldn't have them in the shops.

Wellies at dawn

And my wellies are snugger fitting and thus more aerodynamic than your wellies I think you’ll find

What kind of response does she want from "welly weather then" if not further chat along the same vein? She deserved the mildly patronising-sounding response. I'd have been more inclined to say "thanks captain obvious!".
Once you'd explained yourself, that should have been end of story. She hasn't listened to your explanation at all and I'd agree with the others that she clearly has issues around her parenting and is looking for any reason to get defensive. I wouldn't apologise, Id cease all communication with someone so aggressive.

I think the other woman sounds like an idiot.

Perhaps she felt it was akin to saying
‘ Right folks make sure you send your kids in clothes and shoes that fit’

Wellies that are too big would be a danger on twisty, narrow and wet steps.

If they were going to a field than the comment would be patronising and unnecessary.

*then not than

Just message her and tell her to grow up and block her. But be mindful next time when posting a reply to others on that page maybe.

Ursula she didn’t actually say it like that in her fb post though, she just said that to this thread as an explanation as to why she said that. That’s why I don’t believe her post to be patronising, it was just a friendly comment :)

I think it was your mentioning that the wellies should be "well fitting" that pushed your comment into patronising territory.

Her initial comment was lighthearted. Yours took her comment (about wellies) and made it pointed.

Oh dear, someone has self esteem issues!

Though I do think there are people whose first thought on waking is 'How can I be offended today?'

I think I must be pretty thick skinned because I wouldn’t have batted an eyelid at OP’s comment. I would just see it as a useful reminder.

@Mikklehaha - I agree! I wouldn’t of thought anything about it and just thought the op was trying to helpful!

To be honest op you were a lot politer then me, I would of probably replied something like ‘it wasnt aimed and you, I was trying to be helpful to everyone, I don’t care how you have raised your kid, get over yourself!’

But i can be abit of a bitch. She sounds like a cracker

The chip on her shoulder sounds larger than the ones I'm eating right now.

This is why I can't help but second guess what I say to people because evidently harmless comments are misconstrued as smug or condoncending(sp?). Other people can be really hard work.
There was nothing wrong with what you said OP. There really wasn't.

first world problems. She was having a bad day. Ignore.

That’s bonkers! OP posted advice and someone chose to get offended. All advice is freely given (unless it’s mansplaining) take or leave it but why get defensive? Parents generally get together to ensure a good trip/outcome. Some people are just rude.

I didn't think you were patronising. She has issues but it's not worth any more of your time, especially as you might have to interact with her because of school stuff. She is probably jealous of you!

'Unconditional offer at university'

I think it's the well fitting bit that's annoying. Who purposely sends children to school in ill fitting boots?

A teacher who was having infertility problems (she was too vested in our dc) once told me by written note : "your daughter came to school without mittens today. Please do not do this again."

Seriously? Did she think I sent her to school purposely without mittens? It still annoys me years later.

You probably touched that kind of nerve. It's difficult to raise children, the first time she was frightened and critiqued apparently but her dd is successful and now she's more confident. Unfortunately, she's still sensitive to comments questioning her abilities.

Tbh, I would have mentioned wet stairs bc i just saw stats that it's the third leading cause of death in young men, I think food poisoning is right there too. (Sorry, I'm a walking public service announcement, I would certainly annoy the entire fb group)

Maybe she has weird feet and so can’t get wellies that fit?

At least she is a successful single mum though. #relevant

as long as they are well fitting|

OP, this is where it quite rightly started to go wrong but there was no need for such a dramatic response to it.

She was OTT.

But stating the bleeding obvious, like wellies needing to be well-fitting, is bound to get on people's nerves.

She's crackers, quite extensively so.

Your comment was the sort of thing me and my friends would take the piss out of if we saw it on Facebook (sorry).