Or is she going ott?

[Scrambledheads]

I'm a member of a class group on Facebook for parents to share information, school trips, clubs etc. Last week there was a class trip to a local castle and the weather was really terrible. One of the mums posted on the morning of the trip saying 'Welly weather then' and I commented below saying 'looks like it, as long as they are well fitting as there are lots of twisty narrow stairs in the tower which are slippy when wet'. I wrote this knowing a notification would go out to other parents, most of whom won't have been to the castle and might not know about the twisting stone stairs.
I received a message from the mum who had made the original post and it said 'I've brought up an 18 year old on my own successfully so don't need your input. I was embarrassed and patronised by your comment and no longer feel able to post on the page'
I replied saying it wasn't directed at her but to warn parents who hadn't been there before, and that I didn't mean to be patronising at all. She then replied saying 'don't like being told what to do? No you wouldn't like that. I put up with this the first time round but not any more. My daughter has an unconditional offer to uni and I'm a great single mum so I don't need your advice'.
I should add that I've never had direct contact with this woman before. I can't help but feel tense that she thinks I was deliberately trying to patronise her... AIBU or is she reading too much into it??

Fuck’s sake, nobody can say anything anymore.

Even if she did find it mildly patronising (??), a normal person would register it as a mild irritant and move on. Not fire back a bristlingly defensive message about her daughter going to uni, blah blah.

You weren't patronising. I would have put my DC in walking-type boots instead of wellies on the basis of your advice. And been grateful!

You're a better man than me OP. I would have responded with an "Ooooh! Jolly well done dear," and showed her a proper example of patronising.

I can't believe anyone would be offended or find that comment patronising. You'd have to be very sensitive to find that offensive.
I would just have thought, oh right, better check ds's wellies aren't too big. I can't see the big deal.

She obviously has a massive chip op. I'd block her and move on.

I get your point but shouldn't all footwear be well fitting? She massively over reacted though.

You are fine, it was a kind comment, don't doubt yourself. This parent is probably fraught.

Your facebook comment was fine in my view, but there is always one person in a crowd, who will take umbridge at something or other anyone says or does.Not worth bothering about!!

She sounds like a prime candidate for Drama Llama in Chief. How do people like that get through life if they get so deeply offended by such trivial non-issues? Do they just live in a permanent state of deranged froth?

It must be exhausting to go throughlife with a chip on your shoulder, you were only offering advice. People don’t have to follow it! Ignore the batshit Op.

I'd appreciate your comment if not been to castle before - my eldest is just in first year of primary so tips on school trips would be welcome!

Think your comment was fine. I like to hear advice from other mums about school stuff. I’m no expert , unlike the lady in your group. She sounds touchy .

While her reaction was OTT, your comment was patronising and very twattish. If you’ve made similar “helpful” comments in the past that certainly won’t have helped.

If your comment was in direct reply - which it was - it would have been a big eye roll from me

Effectively she was suggesting wellies in a light hearted way and you were jumping in to say “yes but this is only ok if they fit”.

If it had been a standalone comment possibly ok but as a reply? Bit twatty

Her reaction if via messenger was presumably offline. Your reply was ok and her second reply was batshit. I’d ignore

She was fucked off because you aimed your post at her personally by replying directly to her comment.

You would have been better doing a post addressed to the whole group if that was your intention.

It did sound patronising, she also over reacted, no big deal in the grand scheme of things.

She's got a big chip on her shoulder if she has to message you regarding your comment.

I'd ignore the message from her and move on.

It’s the ‘well fitting’ bit, I reckon that’s done it.
Also, the tone of saying ‘well fitting wellies, the stairs are slippery’ is different to saying, ‘I’d better tell DD to take care, don’t want her slipping on wet stone’.
I’d probably agree with the second, and roll my eyes at the first tbh.

OP's comment isn't patronising in the least. If I hadn't been to the location before, I'd be glad of a heads up that certain parts could be super slippery.

The other mother needs to get a grip and let go of those massive chips on her shoulders. She's obviously very insecure and not dealing well with things if she can equate a comment about footwear for a five year old with having anything to do with an 18 year old's uni studies'.

If she really wants to get pedantic, just making the comment about the shoes in the first place could be seen as "patronising" towards other parents, as I'm sure most people are quite capable of thinking rain = adequate boots.

@JessicaJonesJacket the welly police that made me laugh

On the other hand though, I reckon she has overreacted, your comment could easily have been seen as patronising but also seen as innocent as well. Maybe she was having a bad day, haha.

It must suck to constantly be looking for slights in every little thing people say, rather than giving them the benefit of the doubt and assuming a more kind interpretation. Why choose the worst possible way to read something?

I think what has happened is she has made a lighthearted comment about the weather that she didn't mean to be taken literally. She wasn't suggesting that everyone dress their kids in wellies. She could quite as easily have said 'weather for ducks I see'.

You took it literally and almost sort of corrected her. I totally get this was completely well meaning on your part but to be honest I would have rolled my eyes a bit if this was in reply to my comment and thought 'no shit Sherlock'.

If you really had concerns about appropriate footwear, you should have posted your own comment along the lines of 'With this rain and awful weather what is everyone putting on their feet? I have been to this place before and the stairs are narrow and very slippy when wet'. Gets the same point across without being patronising.

Her reaction was massively over the top. Sounds a bit insecure and paranoid. I would just steer clear of her.

i have clumsy accident-prone kids, and they are much more likely to fall over in wellies. No wellies are really that well-fitting. And because kids' feet are growing, they may be too big as you have to buy a size with space.

Maybe I'm over-invested in this because I can totally see mine going flying down a stone castle staircase after tripping on their wellies!

Oh fgs, the op was just providing some helpful advice...whether you had already thought about it or not why on earth wouldn’t you think it’s patronising? Can someone not be nice and helpful these days without coming across as patronising?? God help our children if this is the world we are creating for them...

*why on Earth WOULD you think it’s patronising even

The OP wasn't patronising at all - she was being helpful. The other mother is weird with bizarre baggage.

She is well up herself. One person, well there’s always one, amongst how many? You were just being thoughtful and considerate. She is not worth a further thought.