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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To think waiting rooms are not playgrounds

380 replies

FairfaxAikman · 27/03/2018 10:36

Feeling like utter crap today and functioning on very little sleep as a result I hauled myself to a GP appointment this morning.
In the waiting room was a toddler who was LOUD!
They were running around the whole of the large waiting room pushing a large digger and shouting and squealing at the top of their voice.

I'm all for kids playing and enjoying themselves, but AIBU to think a Doctors waiting room, which is full of sick people, is not the time or place for it?

OP posts:
Lethaldrizzle · 29/03/2018 12:12

This country loves dogs more than kids.

formerbabe · 29/03/2018 12:20

This country loves dogs more than kids

This is so true. If I go to our local pub for lunch, my perfectly well behaved children will get looks of annoyance from members of the public whilst my friends dog (who is lovely btw) gets lavished with praise and attention.

Gottagetmoving · 29/03/2018 12:40

Are you suggesting that people whose children are noisy don’t love them?

No.
I have not suggested that.
I was responding to the person who thinks that those who think the OP is right are child haters, which was a ridiculous thing to say.

Clevs · 29/03/2018 12:50

I was sat in the GP waiting room a few days ago and there was a mother there with a toddler. The toddler was playing in the childrens corner with mum watching over. He then got bored of that so started running up and down the waiting room and back. Again, not a major problem except he nor his mother were really watching out for people coming and going.

Then he found the water cooler and started playing with it. The mother never stopped him and before we knew it there was a puddle on the floor. A nurse had just come out of her room to call her next patient and didn't look impressed and had to tell the mother (that was no longer watching or disciplining her child) that there was a puddle on the floor. The mother then had to queue up at reception to ask for some tissue to mop it up, and in the meantime people were walking through it. Not to add to the fact that the toddlers snotty, dirty fingers had been all over the dispenser that other patients would be getting water from. Completely unavoidable but not really much parenting going on by that point.

Lethaldrizzle · 29/03/2018 13:03

And yet you're still here to tell the story of the brutal unbridled savagery that took place that day. The world carried on, albeit a little wetter!

Lizzie48 · 29/03/2018 13:06

There is a lot of dislike of children, though. A couple of years ago, my DH and I took our DDs out for a meal at a family friendly pub with a wacky warehouse. There were 4 elderly people at the next table and they started giving us dirty looks as soon as we arrived. The DDs hadn't even had a chance to misbehave, and they didn't. They moved to another table.

If you're wanting a quiet meal, surely you don't go to a family friendly pub with a wacky warehouse at 5pm??

I do get the feeling that some people are looking for a chance to complain about children. It's very sad really.

NameChangeBiatch · 29/03/2018 13:15

And yet LethalDrizzle an elderly or infirm

person could have slipped over and injured themselves in the puddle.

I say this as a mother and someone who does like children (!)

Rita2u · 29/03/2018 13:17

They love their children enough to guide and teach them and don't give up just because sometimes the situation is difficult.

An implication that those who, you assume, don’t discipline their children, as they dare make a noise in public, don’t love their children as they don’t “give up” in difficult situations. It’s such a judgemental statement. Resonates well throughout this thread!

Lethaldrizzle · 29/03/2018 13:22

An elderly person could have spilt the water in the first place. The child could have slipped on the water. But no-one did. 'Water got spilt and water got cleaned up' is hardly worth writing home about.

NameChangeBiatch · 29/03/2018 13:27

I think you know what I'm talking about - someone with failing eyesight and maybe osteoporosis is far more vulnerable to an injury.

The parent who was oblivious until it was pointed out to her smacks of self-absorption to me.

Rita2u · 29/03/2018 13:37

Or maybe that person has social anxiety or another mental health issue. Where waiting for long periods of time is stressful. It isn’t ideal, but the issue was pointed out and it was sorted. As leathaldrizzle states without any issues. There are lots of “what if” situations that more often involve adults.

NameChangeBiatch · 29/03/2018 13:43

Yes of course it's a possibility. But you can't deny waiting rooms are full of the vulnerable for various reasons, increasingly age related as the news keeps telling us.

Not paying attention to what your child is doing because your precious darling can do no wrong is thoughtless bordering on arrogant imo.

Gottagetmoving · 29/03/2018 13:50

An implication that those who, you assume, don’t discipline their children, as they dare make a noise in public, don’t love their children as they don’t “give up” in difficult situations

No.
That's what you read into it. All parents love their children but it was stated those who think a parent should not allow a child to run riot or be very noisy, hate kids!
This thread has got ridiculous. People are now assuming that we think children should make NO noise at all when it was about excessive noise and running about.
The exaggerations and accusations are ridiculous.

Abbylee · 29/03/2018 14:16

If the child was in a gp's waiting room, somebody was sick. No matter of it was a parent or sibling, no doubt all were tired and the well child was bored.

Children are not objects for boasting or entertainment; they need public good manners but sometimes we are sick or tired without support from family or friends and hope to be cut some slack. Especially at a dr.

rupaulsdragrace12 · 29/03/2018 14:19

sorry but i think you are being unreasonable. i had to go to the doctor last week with a severe ear infection, i was in agony and i couldnt sleep at night it was so painful. there was a mum in the waiting room and her toddler was screaming its head off, i can only assume the toddler was unwell and thats why they were at the GPs. i didnt complain though, i just felt awful for the mum who was clearly very embarrassed and having a hard time of it.

Weezol · 29/03/2018 15:01

I'm quite surprised by this thread - as I said in a previous posts, it's parents who don't even try that bother me.

I never had my own small children, through choice (have SC, am an 'auntie' tho) and I'd previously thought I was pretty intolerant of toddler noise.

It seems I actually like and am understanding of toddlers more than some people who actually have them!

SundayGirls · 29/03/2018 15:57

Abbylee you don't have to be "sick" as such to be in a doctors waiting room. Getting the pill, having a smear, innoculations, checking something is on the mend. Not everything is fever/temperature/poorly based acutely sick.

Whereas we should give all people the benefit of the doubt, some parents really are just lazy and pretending they don't exist is naive.

Lizzie48 · 29/03/2018 16:07

But the point is that you sometimes have to wait up to an hour, @SundayGirls that's a hell of a long time for any toddler to wait without getting restless and running around, or if you restrain them, throw a hissy fit, which I'm guessing you wouldn't want either.

And you can't leave, as you don't know when your name will be called.

I've spent so much time in waiting rooms with DD1. Believe me, there's nothing so stressful as an open-ended waiting time. Some compassion wouldn't go amiss.

I would agree with you where restaurants or pubs, or even supermarkets, where the parent can just take the child outside. In a GP/hospital waiting room you just can't.

Ellyess · 29/03/2018 18:15

FairfaxAikman Cripes! Lucky I wasn't there! Lucky for the brats I mean. No! YANBU!

It's not fair on the reception staff, but I wish they could have a word with whoever is with these kind of kids and say either shut them up or get them out. Most Waiting Rooms have a little area with toys for kids. Even when there, I expect them to play quietly.

I think control over children's behaviour is a lot less in evidence than it was 40 years ago. No idea why, but I see awful things going on, on buses, in shops, in the street.. name it...

I tried to eat a Sunday Pub Lunch not long ago and a party - looked like a big family - with one girl about 8yrs, were next to me. This kid kept getting up and knocking my table and running round it, shouting ("singing")loads of times. I had to grab my cola and try not to let gravy swash on to me each time. Did mum, dad, aunty, say sit down to her? did they tell her to be quiet? careful? I have experience and I can tell you she did not have a handicap. Eventually the grey-haired member of their group said, "be careful of that lady's table" to which the kid said, "she's only an old lady". Great, I thought, waste of money this treat out has been.

If this is an age of the young I'm glad I won't have much longer to live.

Sleepyblueocean · 29/03/2018 18:22

"I have experience and I can tell you she did not have a handicap."

I don't know where to start with that one.

Lizzie48 · 29/03/2018 18:29

You don't use the word 'handicap', Ellyess you surely know that! And how can you know just from a meal in the pub? My DD1 has Attachment Disorder as a result of being adopted, and SPD, it's not something you can see! (Not that we've ever let her run around like that.) But that was a ridiculous thing to say, you don't know that at all. Hmm

Ellyess · 29/03/2018 18:31

Are all these replies saying that children should be allowed to run around noisily in the Doctor's Waiting Room? This is new. It was not allowed 1) when I was a child/toddler 2) when my children were toddlers 3) now I have a toddler grandchild..... When do you start teaching your kids to show consideration for other people? OK we all know a fractious child is really hard to keep calm and quiet but the OP says these were allowed to run around with a digger toy making lots of loud noise.

rupaulsdragrace12 I hope your ears are better now. You said "...screaming its head off, i can only assume the toddler was unwell" I think the OP wasn't referring to sick children. The ones making the noise, from her description, appear to be very well indeed. Of course a child who is ill will cry and any normal person will be sympathetic. I have been in the Doctors' WR when a non-sick child has been noisy and the carer has not encouraged him to keep the volume down many times. Last time the child looked about 4. I think that's a good age to start teaching consideration for others and that there is a time for quiet activity and a time and place for boisterous noisy activity.

Rita2u · 29/03/2018 18:42

Ellyess, you are exactly the type of person I wish to avoid in all aspects of my life, with child or without. I couldn’t bare the ignorance. No one is saying that children should run riot in waiting rooms, people are saying that it isn’t always possible to keep children quiet. I think it’s hilarious that 2 year olds are expected to sit and be quiet. Honestly... baffled 😮. I am pleased that to be seen and not heard, as when you were young, has ended!

Ellyess · 29/03/2018 18:44

Lizzie48 The International Classification of Diseases (I have to look up the year) says; "Disability is at the level of the loss of function. Handicap is at the personal level" Thus in medicine we say a person has a disability but we say they are handicapped by it according to their own personal life because a loss of function that will cause a terrible difference to one person may only have a slight effect upon another.
This child moved well, was active in every way, articulate and responsive to her family with all normal responses and no signs of impairment. I was trained and qualified to assess, among other things, disorders of developmental, neurological and psychological pathology.

RainbowBriteRules · 29/03/2018 18:52

This is a horrible thread. I feel nothing but sympathy for parents of small children in waiting rooms. Parenting is hard at times and would possibly be a lot easier if we were more sympathetic to that. Even if they do not appear to be trying keeping them quiet. Frankly i’m just relieved it’s not me having to attempt to keep them quiet.