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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think waiting rooms are not playgrounds

380 replies

FairfaxAikman · 27/03/2018 10:36

Feeling like utter crap today and functioning on very little sleep as a result I hauled myself to a GP appointment this morning.
In the waiting room was a toddler who was LOUD!
They were running around the whole of the large waiting room pushing a large digger and shouting and squealing at the top of their voice.

I'm all for kids playing and enjoying themselves, but AIBU to think a Doctors waiting room, which is full of sick people, is not the time or place for it?

OP posts:
DairyisClosed · 27/03/2018 11:13

No but them again doctors surgeries shouldn't keep you waiting for 40 plus minutes for your appointment but they still do. It's unreasonable to expect your average prelingual toddler to be well behaved for that long.

INeedNewShoes · 27/03/2018 11:14

Oh come on, a two year old can be encouraged to keep quiet and not run everywhere. If we have no expectations of our kids we're doing them a disservice.

SundayGirls · 27/03/2018 11:14

YANBU. I always take suitable non-noisy small toys and a couple of small books with me to a waiting room with a toddler.

If I didn't have that on me then I'd let toddler watch Paw Patrol on my phone.

If I didn't have data for that and no wi-fi I would let them scroll through the photos on my phone, or do sums on the calculator, or play a game.

If I didn't have a phone I would let them play with the coins from my purse, putting them in size order, finding the numbers on them.

If I didn't have any coins I would let them look out of the window, pointing things out, guessing the colour of the next car to pass/coat someone was wearing/first person to see a dog etc.

There's a lot you can do to keep toddlers but it takes some planning, effort, patience and enthusiasm.

PinkHeart5914 · 27/03/2018 11:14

Yanbu Fair enough if the dc makes a little noise but to sit there and allow your child to be so loud is not on.

And yes maybe the parent of the child was ill but it’s tough really because they are still the parent and are responsible for keeping the child at a responsible noise level. Being ill doesn’t mean you can sit there and let your child run riot in a gp surgery where guess what everyone is ill

MyMorningHasBroken · 27/03/2018 11:14

I was waiting in the dentist's a short while ago with an excruciating abscess and had the same situation. Was driving me nuts and the mum didn't even try and ask him to calm down a bit. I have 3 myself and try my hardest to keep the noise down. I'll let them watch something on my phone or take a book or something. Kids need to learn that they have to be quiet sometimes. YANBU

Steeley113 · 27/03/2018 11:16

Most parents have been on both sides of it. I know I have. Feeling like death trying to entertain a toddler, feeling like death with no kids and listening to one being noisy, screaming poorly child in a waiting room etc. Etc. Just a bit more tolerance from everyone would go a long way in these situations (and less iPad judging as I think waiting rooms are the perfect excuse to whack them out!)

roseblossom75 · 27/03/2018 11:17

Chances are the toddler's parent was feeling really unwell (most likely as a sick toddler wouldn't be running around noisily).
She probably had no-one to babysit while she saw the GP and just didn't have the energy to attempt to calm her toddler.

MrsHathaway · 27/03/2018 11:18

No,..I felt it was my responsibility to teach my children from a young age that there were times and places where they had to play quietly. It takes a lot of effort and of course it's not easy.

That worked beautifully with my first children - fortunate, when DC2 and I had an unannounced two-hour wait for an audiology appointment (which was then cancelled). DC3 is another kettle of fish despite exactly the same strategies.

If you restrict parents of young children to appointments when they don't have to take their young children with them, you may prevent them from being able to access health care at all.

So while I agree it's important to try to entertain your child in a waiting room I have great sympathy for those who are failing to do so, particularly if the reason they're in a waiting room is because they're ill.

Gileswithachainsaw · 27/03/2018 11:19

Chances are the toddler's parent was feeling really unwell (most likely as a sick toddler wouldn't be running around noisily)
She probably had no-one to babysit while she saw the GP and just didn't have the energy to attempt to calm her toddler

We can sympathise with that obviously but there will he people in that waiting room who are dealing with terminal conditions or there for life changing test results etc

KendalMintCakey · 27/03/2018 11:19

my son has autism. I tried 150 per cent to keep him calm, sensible and behaving... nigh on impossible. He's severely autistic and was quietly walking around with a popping ball toy (he was 7 but his mental age is sadly much lower) the receptionist screamed at him that he shouldn't be playing with babies toys at his age. He burst into tears and he's now 12 and still won't go back to the Drs...

Steeley113 · 27/03/2018 11:20

@SundayGirls whilst I agree, there are lots of ways to entertain a toddler, but think of where you are. A GP surgery... Maybe the Mum is feeling really poorly and couldn’t get childcare. I’ve been sat there half arsed trying to entertain my toddler (thank the lord for YouTube) while trying not to pass out/vomit waiting to see my GP.

pollysproggle · 27/03/2018 11:22

YANB at all however the practicality of it isn't that simple.
I was on time for my last doctors appointment and had to wait half an hour as he was running late so keeping my toddler from boredom was difficult.
They have removed the small selection of toys in the waiting room that they once had too.
The kids iplayer app on my phone is a godsend for times like that! Although that's frowned upon too - can't win.

Floralnomad · 27/03/2018 11:22

Our GP has a children’s corner fenced off and a sign telling people to not let their children run around and disturb other sick people . I’ve no problem with children being loud in waiting rooms if I see some evidence of the responsible adult at least trying to quieten them down . What annoys me is when the children are rowdy and the adult sits on their phone doing sweet FA . I will say that last year when I was really ill for several months it did make me very grouchy when children were disruptive in the waiting room . Our GP is actually very good and children under 10 get seen as a priority so they are not hanging about for too long if it’s them that the appointment is for .

KittenBeast · 27/03/2018 11:27

So he was being a toddler then? That horrid little bastard!

RB68 · 27/03/2018 11:27

Its like being quiet in a library - kids need to learn appropriate behaviour and consideration for others - our surgery has one or two BABY toys and then books. Works fine and means lazy parents have to read kid a book - I find its the noisiest ones that love the books the most!!! Wonder why

mastertomsmum · 27/03/2018 11:31

Waiting times are at fault not kids in Waiting Rooms

Original poster
FairfaxAikman · 27/03/2018 11:32

I should add that mum was alternating being on her phone and actually encouraging her DC.

Yes I have DC but I am a major believer in appropriate times and places. It's a different thing if the child is being noisy but the parent is at least trying to keep them quiet.

OP posts:
Shattered04 · 27/03/2018 11:34

I find the noise that children make a lot less annoying if I can see that the parent is at least making some effort to prevent or reduce it. Then my annoyance will turn to sympathy and a smile.

As a PP said, there are two types of parents. I fall very definitely into the "try my very best to keep them quiet". It isn't always possible, I have four children including two with ASD, and sometimes nothing I do helps, but many parents could do a lot more. Forward planning helps considerably.

I had a father sat next to me letting his son repeatedly heavily bang a toy car down a few feet from me at the weekend which was not discouraged. After about half an hour of this I actually spoke up and explained I had a migraine (I did by this point) and could he find something else to do. Sure enough, he got out one of those noise-making books to play with instead.

It's parents like him that cause so much dislike of children in public places.

incywincybitofa · 27/03/2018 11:35

Giles There are people with terminal conditions everywhere, restaurants, church, supermarket, not to mention that children can also be facing life limiting or altering conditions and be in the process of being investigated for them or perhaps their parent or sibling is.
And what about the OP she seems to have gone to the GP because she was feeling tired and a bit under the weather.

Gileswithachainsaw · 27/03/2018 11:38

Still it's far more likely I'm a Drs surgery surely Hmm

We've all been there. Trying to keep kids quiet. It's more important for the parent to at least try. Other sick people arebt responsible for entertaining the child. Make am effort at keast that's all we are saying

frogsoup · 27/03/2018 11:38

"Works fine and means lazy parents have to read kid a book"

You had an 18-month-old who would read books for 90 minutes solid, without ever needing to run around or whinge or suchlike? Pull the other one.

Sure, the parents who make no effort to quieten their children are annoying. But some people will tut at kids being kids no matter what their parents do. I know, because I've spent hours and hours and hours in hospital and GP waiting rooms with kids. Some people want to find you and your child irritating no matter what your carefully prepared package of entertainments. Snack? How dare you make crumbs in the waiting room. Book? oh you performance parent you, how dare you. Toys? How dare they make a noise. Damned whatever you do.

Jux · 27/03/2018 11:45

It is a problem these days. Children are relatively undisciplined, so can't sit still and occupy themselves quietly.

Why is that?

CigarsofthePharoahs · 27/03/2018 11:45

I often am debating which is the lesser of two evils with my youngest.
Let him wander about, sometimes making a bit of noise and interacting with a few people or holding him still on my lap where he will usually end up screaming and fighting me in pretty short order.
Believe me, I have tried hard when it comes to getting him to sit still and nothing works for more than a very short time.
I wish he was like my eldest, who never had a problem sitting still. My youngest is almost 4 and is now stronger than me.

BlackeyedSusan · 27/03/2018 11:45

You can ask them to use a quiet voice. (at which point ds will tell the waiting room and the rest of the city that he is using a quiet voice... )

you can try and bring quiet toys,

you can try and distract them.

you can feed them whatever it takes as it is a lot harder to be noisy with a mouth full of food.

I have even resorted to massaging sweaty been at school all day feet...

KalaLaka · 27/03/2018 11:45

Maybe you should have some earplugs or headphones with relaxing music. Seriously. Your expectations of others are unrealistic.

I waited for 5 hours in and out of appointments at the hospital recently. At no point did I tell my toddler to be quiet, as that would be pointless and ridiculous. I played with her, which wasn't silent and involved moving around.

If I'd been unwell, I don't think I'd have managed to be so involved... give the mother a break!

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