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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

to think that people should shut up about their bank charges? You incurred the charges, so pay up.

400 replies

AitchTwoOh · 09/05/2007 12:57

honestly, i've got a friend who just got £5500 back and he's off on holiday with the proceeds.

he's absolutely USELESS with money and knowingly incurred all teh charges, so why exactly does he deserve to get the money back? it's not a bloody savings account he's been paying into...

OP posts:
akaJamiesMum · 09/05/2007 16:55

bugger - never was good with words.

FioFio · 09/05/2007 16:56

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IcingOnTheCake · 09/05/2007 17:04

i will sound like a judgemental biatch but this girl i know is 22 and she lives at home, pays 20quid rent and the rest of her wages are hers, yet she is over 3 grand in debt. does make me wonder how and why

PeachyChocolateEClair · 09/05/2007 17:09

Icing I think yuo're rightm its only when you're really, totally broke you truly get it. Thank goodness we're not there now- it was Hell it really was (and as Is aid earlier, long thread, lost us our house). Dh became very ill with severe depression and I was 38 weeks pg and on maternity leave, but had been for a while (baby not growing) so only £100 p/w income

Fortunately those days seem to be gone (I understand they could return but thats one reaoson I am studying- for security). Dh is working again and has been 3 years now, and his little hobby business is also doing well and may go FT one day. However, the memories are vivid enough that I would never judge anyone who is down there.

PeachyChocolateEClair · 09/05/2007 17:10

Taht was to your earlier post LOL!

Icing be honest you 6are^ a tad judgemental aren't ya?

Actually that was me at 22. Some of us are slower to grow up.

IcingOnTheCake · 09/05/2007 17:16

yeah i can be a judgemental cow sometimes when it comes to girls like her. it's cause using my mum as inspiration, i truely value my money and am grateful for everything i have. i don't buy luxury items that often as i save up to buy things which to me is half the fun, but anyway then when i do buy it, its so much better and its exciting because its something i have looked forward to getting. am i making any sense?

MrsWho · 09/05/2007 17:18

Thanks Manic/anniemac

pointydog · 09/05/2007 17:23

Course you;r ebeing unreasonable. Banks have way too much money.

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 09/05/2007 17:42

Icing, I don't really get you, I have to say. After yesterday's incredible judgemental thread regarding disabled people (I MADE myself not post on that it!) I can only conclude that you lack any kind of ability to empathise in any way about any thing!

Seeing as you clearly know what its like to be in a family that has struggled financially I would have thought that you might be able to stretch your mind a little and imagine a situation where getting into debt might be the only "way forward" you can see. For instance, unforeseen illness/disability and wanting to make sure your children don't go without the things that other children take for granted. And I DON'T mean flash foreign holidays I can assure you.. I mean things like going to swimming club; having birthday parties.

I am not ashamed to say I would rather live with an overdraft, month in month out, than have my children grow up looking back on a childhood where their peers got all the things their parents could never afford. So hang me for living beyond my means!

Peachy I am studying for the same reason. I intend to get us a brighter future, but for now, due to unforeseen illness/disability (whoever foresees these things when they start out in adult life?) we often struffle financially.

Fio, you'd best not swan off in any cars (flash or otherwise!) with me.. it might end up being a Thelma and Louise trip.. And what a waste of a lovely "FREE" (motorbility! ) car!!

Original poster
AitchTwoOh · 09/05/2007 18:04

you are making ridiculous assumptions about what people's lives have been like, shiny.

obviously everyone who is saying that they can live within their means is posting from an ivory tower and everyone else is a working class hero done down by an unfair system.

is it not just possible that people like my friend, who is can i remind you getting five and a half thousand pounds repaid, is a monumental pisstaker and is not in fact poor at all? cos he's not, you know... he's loaded.

OP posts:
ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 09/05/2007 18:06

Are you there not some ridiculous assumptions being made that everyone who uses their overdrafts/gets bank charges is mismanaging their money and being spendthrifts?

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 09/05/2007 18:07

Working class hero?? Pardon?

Blondilocks · 09/05/2007 18:12

Haven't read the whole thread but totally agree with AitchTwoOh.

You are always told of the threat of charges & not always in the small print either - quite often in quite large writing.

If it's an overspend at the fault of the bank then fair enough you should get it back.

FioFio · 09/05/2007 18:14

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PeachyChocolateEClair · 09/05/2007 18:14

I know Shiny, never in the world did I think that Dh would get ill, I'd have 2 asd kids or not be able to drive (albeit hoprefully temporarily) coause of my eyes

But heyt its how you deal with these things that amrks out who you are, and you and I are huilding abetter future

fannyannie · 09/05/2007 18:17

"I am not ashamed to say I would rather live with an overdraft, month in month out, than have my children grow up looking back on a childhood where their peers got all the things their parents could never afford."

I agree totally - out of all our mammoth debts (which we're about 4yrs away from clearing) DH's overdraft is the one that never gets mentioned in 'finance' discussions.

One day I'm sure he'll not be paying his half of the bills out of his overdraft - but in the meantime he does.......and it means that once in a while I'm able to take DS2 to the Morrisons Cafe for lunch - or we can go on a day out (not with the weather like this mind you LOL) to Wickstead Park.

rabbleraiser · 09/05/2007 18:28

Still agree with Aitch. This thread goes off on some ridiculous tangents.

niceglasses · 09/05/2007 18:34

And I still don't understand why you're bovvered. If they get their money back (and they are your friend for Gods sake) wouldn't you be glad??

foxinsocks · 09/05/2007 18:36

these are unfair penalties rabble - ones that the people in question have actually paid so they are just getting the excess returned to them. It's not like they are coining it or getting money for free - these are charges that have essentially been overpaid by them and they are recouping them!

twobabies · 09/05/2007 18:48

This thread has come at the wrong time for me i'm afraid. I've spent the day worrying myself sick over dd's birthday in two weeks when she won't be getting anything because of my bank. YES it is my banks problem. I have to have DD on my account I can't pay the elec/water/gas/car insurance any other way. When the benefits agency kindly decided this month to suspend my incapacity money due to a change in circumstances (my child tax credits going up £10) all of my dd came out of the bank and took me £150 overdrawn, the bank then kindly charged me £38 for each of those dd and another £40 for going overdrawn. Then my benefits when they were paid in today were swallowed by the overdraft of charges. I can't see where my fault lies in all of this and can't believe that anybody would actually sit and try to defend these charges because they've never been in the position of REAL hardship not just having to live within their means. Even if people are shit with money, what gives the banks the right to charge £38 for something which costs them about £2.50 and before you all trot out the "but their running a business" yes they are, but it's not a service I or anybody else can opt out of, we all have to have bank accounts and agree to pay these charges.

Some of you should really hope your halos don't slip anytime soon

rabbleraiser · 09/05/2007 18:49

Fox, I never once said that I disagreed with the premise of paying back bank charges that were patently unfair. Who would? In fact, no one has said that. This is where the thread degenerates. The OP has a specific problem with people who go overdrawn from feckless overspending or bad management, not from those whose cheques go missing in the post, etc. etc.

If your argument is that it's OK to overspend on consumer items and that you should not have to pay for that consumption, than that's a wet fish in the face for people who are more circumspect about their finances. Why the opprobrium?

And to answer an earlier post from Shiny, if you think it's cool to go overdrawn so your children can have the same things that other children have, that's your view and your entitled to it. I profoundly disagree, but as some famous Frenchman once said, I would defend to the death your right to say it.

PeachyChocolateEClair · 09/05/2007 18:51

twobabies could I help by sending her something? it'll only be small but they do like aprcels don't they?

NoodleStroodle · 09/05/2007 18:52

{Like opprobrium - what does it mean so I can follow?)

twobabies · 09/05/2007 18:53

And now i'm crying because PCE has been so nice

I will say no though as she will be getting presents from grandparents/godparents/friends etc, but you have cheered me right up

foxinsocks · 09/05/2007 18:55

what I'm saying is that it doesn't matter if you were rich, poor, a spendthrift or addicted to shopping.

It is purely a financial issue. Whether you incur the charges knowingly or not, YOU HAVE BEEN CHARGED too much! This bloke, even if he did knowingly incur the charges (and he has paid for them, don't forget), he was charged TOO MUCH. He is recouping an excess charge.

This isn't an emotive issue for me - it's a financial one!

And I never said it was 'OK to overspend on consumer items and that you should not have to pay for that consumption' - the fact is you DO have to pay but you should NOT have to pay excessively. That's what this is about. Being overcharged, not the actual charge itself!