DH screaming at me while im on toilet

[SquashFeet]

We had friends around last night for drinks. Two of our toilets are out of use at the minute so I had to use the downstairs "cloakroom" toilet. It's down the hall from the living room so not ideal. Anyway I went to have a wee and DH starts screaming "turn the fucking tap off" - everyone roared with laughter, I was modified. Came back in living room and made light of it but quietly said to DH not to show off and embarrass me like that. The next time I went to toilet he screamed "there's a leak! The bathroom is flooding!". Everyone was in stitches when I came back in and I said enough was enough and to change the record so he said (in front of everyone) "well Christ, why do you piss like an elephant?" I was so embarrassed. Today his family are coming around for dinner and DH says he's going to continue with the waterfall, Tap, leak, tsunami jokes until I piss quieter and not like a docker. I'm so modified and embarrassed I can't even face them coming. He's being such a cock and I don't know why.

Turn on the tap in the sink as you close the door on your way in.
Leave it running until you come back out.

Tomorrow, think about what you are getting out of this "relationship".
Disrespectful doesn't even cover it.

Bin him.

I was tempted to suggest fighting fire with fire and threatening to reveal something embarassing about him if he doesn't stop it but you shouldn't have to. He's being vile, I'd cancel the people coming over and tell them exactly why and tell him the same will keep happening until he fixes his attitude.

If he acts like that in front of his family how will they react?

He's humiliating you and appears to relish your discomfort.

I'd be disgusted by this behaviour.

What an idiot he is. Acting like a 3 year old

What an idiot. Shame he feels the need to belittle you to make himself look clever and funny,
I don't know why everyone was laughing either, it's not even funny.

Has he had a sudden change in personality or behaviour? I cannot imagine being married to someone so rude and disrespectful.

On the other hand, what are his parents like? There's a good chance he's going to embarrass himself thoroughly if he continues. With that said, perhaps he ought to cancel the visit...and move out asap!

What a cunt. I'd be tempted to shout Stand closer to the toilet luv, your Willy is little and you keep pissing on the floor.

Seriously though it's nasty and abusive.

I think I’d just own the situation and before I went to the loo, say clearly and loudly for everyone in the room to hear “you’re not going to make a joke about how loudly I wee again, are you DH? Because it was really not funny last time and it definitely won’t be funny today. In fact it makes it sound like an utter idiot to do it.”

Then if he does do it, and everyone else laughs, you know both he and they are no friends of yours.

What an unpleasant wanker. I can't imagine putting up with that sort of behaviour so I'd be going out to lunch somewhere nice and leaving 'D'H to entertain his family on his own.

What a bell end, how crass.

A toilet paper crash mat will help muffle the sound. Not sure what you can do about your husband. Walk out the door? (Obviously come back later)

He is an unfunny arsehole and I bet there would have been people there last night who may have laughed uncomfortably but secretly thought the same. He is making himself look bad mainly.

How is he normally op? Is he often belittling and disrespectful?

How could anyone hear you-did they stand outside & listen??

So offensive and immature.

So basically he's treating you like a dog and trying to ''correct'' your behaviour???

I wouldnt entertain his parents, tell him your going out because you cant stand to be around his behaviour, leave him to clean, cook etcc.

I would also think if this is recent behaviour or part of a long line of emotional abuse.

I'd go out and leave him to deal with the family dinner, for starters.
Is he usually this much of a sad, pathetic little twat?

If he says you're pissing like a docker say "no I'm pissing away my happiness living with you"

Or "that's not piss, that's my soul slowly disintergrating since I married you

Or " well it's the only pleasure I get since your erectile dysfunction"

Or " that's the problem with having a massive cunt, oh no sorry I LIVE with one, I don't HAVE one.

Or "having a piss is as exciting as it gets round here, since that diagram of the clitorus I got you hasn't done the trick"

Or " Every wondered why I spend so much time having a wee when the alternative is having to listen to you?"

Or "Oh fuck off you juvenile little prick"

I'd go for the latter.

Cancel the family or go out yourself, and tell them why.

You're married to a 12 year old bully. Take yourself off for the day and let him entertain his family.

Why is he so embrassed that you can be heard having a wee? Maybe he needs to learn the art of conversations then no one would even notice.

Ye gods but that is so unpleasant. Why is doing that?

I'm another who'd be off out on my own for the day, let him deal with his family. Then a long conversation about deliberate humiliation of someone you are supposed to love... ask him plainly what sort of kick he got out of it and what that says about him... how he sees you!

From here it seems he has very little respect for you! You need to work out why, so you can decide whether or not he is salvageable!

Good luck with him!

My husband just said you've to say he's only jealous coz his wee cock makes such a tiny little tinkle. Pot Kettle actually because he says I piss like a race horse. He doesn't say it in public though- for that I would waterboard him with my significant urine

He's not a nice, respectful or mature man. Trying to humiliate you in public. And its not even funny - so I'm surprised your friends were laughing their heads off at him being a prick.

My XH and I had a thing where we sort of took the piss out of each other in front of people. I decided I didn't like it and stopped. He didn't and admitted that later in counselling. It didnt speak well of him. I'm glad he's not in my life anymore.