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Original poster

DH screaming at me while im on toilet

141 replies

SquashFeet · 25/03/2018 14:10

We had friends around last night for drinks. Two of our toilets are out of use at the minute so I had to use the downstairs "cloakroom" toilet. It's down the hall from the living room so not ideal. Anyway I went to have a wee and DH starts screaming "turn the fucking tap off" - everyone roared with laughter, I was modified. Came back in living room and made light of it but quietly said to DH not to show off and embarrass me like that. The next time I went to toilet he screamed "there's a leak! The bathroom is flooding!". Everyone was in stitches when I came back in and I said enough was enough and to change the record so he said (in front of everyone) "well Christ, why do you piss like an elephant?" I was so embarrassed. Today his family are coming around for dinner and DH says he's going to continue with the waterfall, Tap, leak, tsunami jokes until I piss quieter and not like a docker. I'm so modified and embarrassed I can't even face them coming. He's being such a cock and I don't know why.

OP posts:
kaytee87 · 25/03/2018 16:58

Another one saying I'd go out for the afternoon and consider never going back

kimanda · 25/03/2018 16:59

There have been some great suggestions on howto deal with your twat of a husband, but my fave was on page 1...

What a cunt. I'd be tempted to shout 'Stand closer to the toilet luv, your Willy is little and you keep pissing on the floor.'

Seriously though, it is quite abusive behaviour, and he is acting like a bully. If his friends thought he was funny, they are as bad as him.

Silly question, but have you told him how it makes you feel?

Batteriesallgone · 25/03/2018 17:07

What? Why were your friends laughing? Are they 5?

Geez if I was at someone’s house for drinks and they came out with stuff like this about their partner I’d be awkward and it would kill the mood. I’d also want to leave early before I needed another wee so I didn’t get any comments on my own toileting!

I once went into the bathroom in a shared house and chucked my glass of water down the loo (it had been in my room a couple of days so I didn’t want to drink it). When I came out again my housemate started making comments about me pissing like a racehorse.

He was a nasty small minded bully who was also - of course - incredibly insecure about himself and his appearance. I suggested maybe he didn’t want to start a tit for tat of pisstaking about physical attributes as I saw plenty to target.

Same guy used to ask, whenever he saw me dressed up, if I had a second job as an escort. Attempt to make me feel cheap and slutty.

I moved out after a short while. Couldn’t cope living with such a cock.

TidyDancer · 25/03/2018 17:08

The deliberate humiliation and embarrassment of another person, particularly a person you are supposed to love, is utterly vile. I would be instantly turned off a person who did that.

If you're meant to be cooking today, don't. Go out and have a lovely time on your own or with a friend.

Bexter801 · 25/03/2018 17:12

Where are you op? I do hope,your out enjoying dinner somewhere lovely,surrounded with people,who's company you enjoy,peeing freely Smile

TomRavenscroft · 25/03/2018 17:14

He and the 'friends' were all being twats.

I wouldn't have people round again until he realises this.

WheresTheHooferDoofer · 25/03/2018 17:22

I suspect the OP is entertaining her IL, but I do hope her "D"H isn't still makeing "jokes".

LoniceraJaponica · 25/03/2018 17:22

And get onto a plumber first thing on Monday to get the other 2 loos fixed.

JaneEyre70 · 25/03/2018 17:30

Have you ever seen the episode of The Inbetweeners where Jay goes into the loo after Simon, in front of his crush...... makes out he's done a huge stinking poo and left skidmarks.

I'd go in after him, and make a huge drama about smell and "oh god what have you eaten" while gagging and screaming "where the hell is the air freshener". Give him a taste of his own medicine...... and then laugh to everyone. I bet he won't do it again in a hurry.

Addy2 · 25/03/2018 17:34

If you can manage it, burst into tears and run away upstairs. Undignified, yes, but everyone there laughing will immediately feel like shit.

AnyFucker · 25/03/2018 17:35

Is he you the Piss Troll ?

Jux · 25/03/2018 17:36

He's a twat. Is he 12?

RiceBaby · 25/03/2018 17:50

For God's sake, it's just a joke!

WheresTheHooferDoofer · 25/03/2018 17:54

It's not "just a joke", especially when the DH has said he'll continue with the "jokes"... Today his family are coming around for dinner and DH says he's going to continue with the waterfall, Tap, leak, tsunami jokes until I piss quieter and not like a docker.

It's actually nasty behaviour.

TammyWhyNot · 25/03/2018 18:09

You can actually hear weeing through a closed door and along a hallway?

And it is perfectly possible to wee quietly. Toilet paper in loo / positioning.

But hey.

butterfly198615 · 25/03/2018 18:16

He has took it too far.

I'd get in first before your man child decides to tell his parents about his supposedly stupid joke.
I'd explain what he was saying and doing when you went to the loo.

I'd say we apologise but only the cloakroom toilet is working at the moment. And if you need a wee then your son might think its hilarious and make a joke out of hearing you peeing. Like he did with me when we had friends round last night. I found it highly embarrassing.

Are they likely to be mortified by their sons behaviour? or will they make a joke of it too ?.

Bet your husband wouldn't like it of you went to the loo and leave the door wide open and shout out? I'm leaving the door open see as though you are facinated how loud I pee.
He won't know where to put himself.

I find that if you bunch up some toilet roll into the toilet before you wee it blocks out the weeing noise .

Chickenagain · 25/03/2018 18:26

I would be tempted to put a massive jug of water in the loo - at least 3l and half an hour before I needed to go, have a pretend wee with that, pouring from a great height.

PeppersTheCat · 25/03/2018 18:27

So OP, what have you decided to do with your cunt of a husband? Did you stick around for his family?

Bexter801 · 25/03/2018 18:31

I still can't help feel,what if op needed to do more than pee,which she of course should freely be able to do in her own home.....what on earth would the idiot say in that circumstance

SimonBridges · 25/03/2018 18:34

For God's sake, it's just a joke!

Ah ‘just a joke’ the great line of defence from an arsehole. Making out that you are the problem for not understanding their sparkling humour and personality.

See also ‘banter’.

DNAwrangler · 25/03/2018 18:44

Well obviously he is being a right wanker.

That said, it is a bit weird that you Dan be heard weeing from a toilet down the hall... Is it really close somehow? And you can control the noise to ab extent, toilet paper, weeing on the side of the toilet bowl, and the like. I only say this because we have a toilet off our lounge (as well as one upstairs) and FIL uses it to do loud messy poos. Obviously way worse, but I have some sympathy with bring made to listen to toilet sounds.

nocoolnamesleft · 25/03/2018 18:52

"Down the hall" could easily share a wall with the living room. Regardless, it doesn't matter whether the OP pisses like a bull elephant who's been out of on the town. She asked her "D"H not to embarrass her like that, and he did it again. Unacceptable.

Charolais · 25/03/2018 18:55

We all heard my MIL peeing when she used the downstairs toilet and that surprised me because it’s a big bathroom and some distance from the front parlor. After that I always have soft music on if we have guests and I will run the tap when I use that toilet.

It was weird to hear someone tinkling but we were too polite to say anything.

Goodasgoldilox · 25/03/2018 18:59

I hope he thought better of his nasty behaviour - or that you had a lovely day out without him today.

Idontdowindows · 25/03/2018 19:02

For God's sake, it's just a joke!

Jokes are supposed to be funny.