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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think they should have introduced themselves?

365 replies

Uhuhhoney · 24/03/2018 23:44

Ive just moved into a new houseshare.

When i was moving my stuff in i heard one of the flatmates rummaging in the kitchen so i went downstairs and she scuttled back to her (downstairs) room. Hmm i thought... anyway, i was then making food this evening and hwr boyfriend came in and said im Courtneys boyfriend (me having no idea who she is). They're now chatting really fucking loudly downstairs and i feel like it would be awkward to go and make a brew.

Aibu to think shes been rude to deliberately ignore her only (new) flatmate!

OP posts:
MissP103 · 31/03/2018 09:48

This reply has been deleted

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Sakurasnail · 31/03/2018 09:54

Wow, the understanding and consideration for possible mh/autism/social anxiety/related difficulties on this thread is amazing...

bluebell34567 · 31/03/2018 10:22

op tried to understand her at the beginning, but when she put the weird rules that even she herself doesn't imply then you wouldn't want to be taken for a ride would you.

HectorlovesKiki · 31/03/2018 10:32

You don't really know anything about this girl. Maybe she has a lot on her mind. She could be preoccupied with any number of problems, maybe she can't make ends meet, maybe her boyfriend's cheated on her, a relative is ill, she's feeling unwell, could be anything really. It could, however, be that she is just a rude, ignorant person. As you live in the same house, it's best all round if you manage to strike up a bit of camaraderie. Best of luck to you.

ThinkingQueSeraSera · 31/03/2018 10:35

Please keep updating this is great! Sorry OP

Booboo66 · 31/03/2018 10:40

I don’t think anyone is failing to understand issues involved with social anxiety/autism etc but if this was the case she’d be aware the issue was with her. I doubt it’s the case though, Surely the point where her behaviour was mentioned to the boyfriend would have been the perfect opportunity for him to say something like ‘sorry honey, flatmate has some difficulties when meeting new people so if you just give her some time’ or something along those lines instead of upholding the claim she’s lovely and chatty and sociable and that the problem lies with the new flat mate who hasn’t even had a chance to meet her yet!

BastardGoDarkly · 31/03/2018 10:52

Blimey. Whatever her reasons, she sounds like a nightmare flatmate.

I thought your bf handled it really well too op Smile

Ghanagirl · 31/03/2018 10:53

Are you incredibly beautiful OP, maybe she feels jealous...

SleepingStandingUp · 31/03/2018 11:12

Agree that I'd just ask her BF what the issue is. Its weird he's spending chunks of time with you whilst she sits in her room alone

Motoko · 31/03/2018 11:13

I’m not sure why she has more of an obligation to introduce herself than you do... I think you are both being equally rude!

Didn't you read the thread? OP has introduced herself! Accusing OP of not doing something that she said she has, is rude too!

As you live in the same house, it's best all round if you manage to strike up a bit of camaraderie.

Bit hard when OP's advances in trying to get to know this woman are all rebuffed.

Willow2017 · 31/03/2018 11:34

Oh for goodness sake it doesnt take a moment to say "Hello i am x" I am incredibly shy in social situations but would not ignore anyone.

She described herself as friendly on the advert yet has ignored all ops attempts to talk to her and issued ridiculous rules that she herself doesn't follow. Thats plain rudenes. She doesnt own the flat anymore than op does. Maybe she is the reason the last flatmate left and she is hoping op will get sick of her behaviour too and she will get to play happy families with her bf on thier own for another while.

Original poster
Uhuhhoney · 31/03/2018 11:38

Her boyfriend and her came into breakfast this morning. All was fine she didnt talk tho. When my boyfriend left the room she said she was shocked that i hadnt adhered to the rules, and that you could hear us having sex/kissing in the kitchen and that i was acting "like a slag" because i made conversation with her boyfriend. Her boyfriend just walked out of the room.

I did try and defend myself saying id made an effort to try to get to know her etc. Im a scouser and she made comments on how typical my behaviour was as a scouser.

ended up in tears. My boyfriends found a bit in the contract about right to privacy, and respect of others, so i think i may complain about her.

OP posts:
Original poster
Uhuhhoney · 31/03/2018 11:39

Im adamant im not leaving. Boyfriend says he will move in before he lets me leave !!

OP posts:
Booboo66 · 31/03/2018 11:41

You should have asked her outright then why she was being so unpleasant to you. Hopefully now people will stop defending her on the grounds of being shy etc, she just sounds nasty and rude to me.

Moominfan · 31/03/2018 11:45

Your bf sounds keeper. I'd give up the battle she's not someone I'd want to be pally with. Horrible for everyone all round. Maybe let It all die down and try again after a few weeks of awkardness

pinkyredrose · 31/03/2018 12:03

Why do you need your boyfriend to speak for you and sort out your problems? She does sound odd though!

buddhasbelly · 31/03/2018 12:04

Wonder how long the room had been vacant for before you moved in?

Seems very much like she got used to it being "her" space being there the longest...

Bit extreme to go from saying nothing to slag calling...

Is her room just off the living room?

AaronPurrSir · 31/03/2018 12:08

Did you say you weren’t following rules she clearly didn’t follow herself?

She sounds bloody horrible.

Willow2017 · 31/03/2018 12:12

Pinky
maybe because op was in tears being called a slag and having her home/character assassinated?

Mummyoflittledragon · 31/03/2018 12:12

@Sakurasnail

No there is no lacking in awareness for mh/autism/social anxiety/ related difficulties on this thread. Your propensity to project is astounding. Now she’s calling op a slag and typical scouser. It is pretty clear she doesn’t like what she considers to be her territory invaded. She’s horrible and a bully.

Scabetty · 31/03/2018 12:17

She is a nasty snob and has decided you aren’t her type of person.

LexieLulu · 31/03/2018 12:20

You really need to speak to LL and ask if these house rules are theirs or hers? LL might be shocked about what she's doing.

When questioned about house rules have you asked why her boyfriend is allowed to stay and not yours.

Fellow scouser here (well plastic but close enough) one thing I've never heard is that having sex and talking people is typical scouse behaviour 😂😂😂

Sakurasnail · 31/03/2018 12:21

mummy yeah, thought the updates would go that way.

Well well, guess I was completely wrong from the beginning. Grin
And I'll call BS on this:
No there is no lacking in awareness for mh/autism/social anxiety/ related difficulties on this thread
Because of the great number of ppl who refused to consider any other explanation apart from 'shes a rude twat' or variation of, right from the first post. Or those who state that even if you do have social anxiety /mh/autism it's easy to go up to a stranger and say hello. No it isn't. Everyone is different.
Again, I was trying to explain this, not projecting, but it seems some ppl are very blinkered.

pinkyredrose · 31/03/2018 12:23

willow oh blimey i missed the bit about OP being in tears! Not sure how i managed that.

She sounds a total bitch OP.

Khaleesi0 · 31/03/2018 12:29

She sounds absolutely bat shit!!!

I'd probably want to move, I wouldn't cope well with anyone calling me a slag Angry