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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think they should have introduced themselves?

365 replies

Uhuhhoney · 24/03/2018 23:44

Ive just moved into a new houseshare.

When i was moving my stuff in i heard one of the flatmates rummaging in the kitchen so i went downstairs and she scuttled back to her (downstairs) room. Hmm i thought... anyway, i was then making food this evening and hwr boyfriend came in and said im Courtneys boyfriend (me having no idea who she is). They're now chatting really fucking loudly downstairs and i feel like it would be awkward to go and make a brew.

Aibu to think shes been rude to deliberately ignore her only (new) flatmate!

OP posts:
1forAll74 · 29/03/2018 04:24

I think if you do get near to this girl in the house again, just try and say hello, then you could maybe get the gist of her personality whatever, then judge how you think she is yourself.

ILikeyourHairyHands · 29/03/2018 04:38

This reply has been deleted

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Mummyoflittledragon · 29/03/2018 05:31

Personally I’d contact the ll. Show them the rules, explain her behaviour and that her bf is basically living there - note down the nights he stays.

I am a ll. I don’t do HMO’s. However I would want to know if one of my tenants were purposefully making another tenant feel so unwelcome that they felt obliged to leave. Ultimately, I think this is what will happen here. And if she’s been there a while, you’re unlikely to be the first and that could be another question.

Maybe she chose you for your age to be able to dominate you, especially with her bf being a permanent fixture to support her. As for the advert, she has to make it sound as though she’s friendly, what would her ll say otherwise?

Perhaps she wants to play house with her bf but they can’t afford to pay both rents. Perhaps he even lives with her. Just because he wasn’t there last night, it doesn’t mean he has another place to stay. He may have gone out with mates and kipped on their sofa. Maybe I’m completely off the mark. But I fail to see why they would choose not be living together as a couple in the house paying for both rooms with him paying for a room elsewhere when he appears to be there almost all the time.

FabulouslyGlamorousFerret · 29/03/2018 06:24

How odd and uncomfortable. And how dare she specify you can't have friends over when her boyfriend is there so often! How long has she lived there?

DarkPeakScouter · 29/03/2018 06:37

Yes you def need to chat about the ‘suggested’ house rules or the six months will be a nightmare

snewsname · 29/03/2018 08:41

I'm surprised you haven't had a conversation with the bf yet.

I wonder how long the previous tenants have lasted. The ll won't be too chuffed if peyote keep leaving after 6 months.

Surely house rules are drawn up together if there are two of you. Batshit. Is she saying she can have her bf to stay but you can't as no overnight visitors?

Furiosa · 29/03/2018 09:31

snewsname

I love how your autocorrect changes "people" to "peyote".

What have you been up to?! Grin

TomRavenscroft · 29/03/2018 09:44

She's not shy or awkward, she's a twat.

I’d contact the landlord too. Show them the rules and ask if he/she originated them or if the flatmate has mate them up. And tell them how often her her boyfriend is there.

I'd also corner her and say 'Please stop ignoring and blanking me and have a conversation with me.'

Sakurasnail · 29/03/2018 10:05

Surely house rules are drawn up together if there are two of you.
You'd think so. I really don't get why she'd give you a list of house rules if it was obvious she wasn't following them. Unless they were initially from the landlord, or bf doesn't actually stay over.?

I'd also corner her and say 'Please stop ignoring and blanking me and have a conversation with me.'
It's really depressing to keep reading opinions like this, despite a number of ppl posting how difficult it can be for some ppl to interact with strangers. She didnt ignore or blank op, she smiled and nodded. Obviously not enough for lots of ppl commenting here, but for her that might be good. if she had ignored or blanked, op would have said that.

snewsname · 29/03/2018 10:15

furiosa Grin
I had to Google the meaning of peyote. Now I want to know how you know it's a hallucinogenic drug?

hellsbellsmelons · 29/03/2018 10:19

She does sound odd but each to their own.
I'm looking forward to seeing how she reacts to you having your BF staying.

bluebell34567 · 29/03/2018 10:41

she doesn't want to talk to her because she just wants to imply her own rules. if she talks then a door would open for op to argue about the rules.

bluebell34567 · 29/03/2018 10:42

she is very calculating.

bluebell34567 · 29/03/2018 10:50

ultimately what she wants is a paying, but not very existing flat mate, so she can leave there as she likes.

Furiosa · 29/03/2018 10:53

snewsname

Um...a...friend! Yes a friend told me about it!

TomRavenscroft · 29/03/2018 11:22

Sakura, the OP says 'Before i asked her how her day had been making a brew and she blanked me, and her boyfriend answered.'

And re 'ignoring' I chose my word badly – I meant 'avoiding'.

Abbylee · 29/03/2018 14:10

Introduce yourself with a smile. If she is anything less than professionally polite, keep your distance.

TomRavenscroft · 29/03/2018 14:25

Abby, the OP already has: 'She was washing up in kitchen before, went in all smiles, saying hey how are you, nice to meet you im honey.'

Sakurasnail · 29/03/2018 14:26

Yes you're right tom, I missed that. I've been reading from the start and it seemed as if many ppl were judging her as rude before they'd even come face to face, which felt unfair based on the scanty description of what had happened. At that point I didn't believe she had been rude... She hadn't blanked op earlier on, only on that more recent update, it seems. Which I missed.

Lemonlady22 · 29/03/2018 14:28

Are you in Reading?...sounds like the weirdo my niece moved in with, she only stayed a few days....she was a nutcase!

Ellyess · 29/03/2018 17:55

Uhuhhoney Yep. Rude. Weird. Possibly shy. Hang on for a bit and see how things go.... Try not to worry, just sort of watch, wait and see and just "act normal" not over friendly not unfriendly but don't assume she's horrible because it's too soon to tell! Good luck!!

FloydWasACat · 29/03/2018 18:53

Don't think this has been said already, and may be a huge leap but there could be the possibility that this could be something to do with the boyfriend? Not jealousy on her part but him maybe being too in control, possibly not liking the idea of her having friends or the fact that if he stays over so often he doesn't want her to share. Just a thought, but you don't actually know for sure that she wrote that note. Like I said, clutching at straws but not out of the realms of possibility

CosyLulu · 30/03/2018 05:26

No TV after 10pm? Does she stick to that? Does she tell you when her boyfriend is staying over?

Very weird. It’s like she’s trying to minimise your existence.

flumpybear · 30/03/2018 07:19

Is her name Sheldon?! She sounds perfectly shit as a housemate! And a grand a month!!!! But your own place and spend it in a mortgage!

snewsname · 30/03/2018 07:52

furiosa

A friend eh! Grin

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