People who don't make an effort with their appearance.

[User247]

What do you think of people who don't do anything to look attractive?

I don't mean washing and basic hygiene. I mean those who don't dress well, wear make up or keep themselves healthy.

Why don't people want to be pleasant to look at?

*Make up colours and types don’t happen by accident. They are designed to help the wearer emulate two main things. One is youth (so eye make up is generally intended to make the eyes look wider, and skin make up is designed to conceal imperfections and smoothe the skin). The second is sexual arousal (hence red lipstick and pink blusher to mimic an orgasmic flush).

There is a science behind it, of sorts. It isn’t arbitrary*

Why doesn’t that apply to men then?

So basically women are making themselves look sexually available and fertile. Men, presumably, don’t feel the need, or for women age and experience is more desirable in a sexual partner, and they aren’t so focussed on sex itself.

I wonder if there are any psych studies done. It’s a bit scary that yet again, it seems to boil down to womens sexual availability.

I wonder if this is also behind the current pouting fashion- to draw attention to the puckered lips —which look like an anus—.

Because I don't care what other people think of me. How I look is their problem, not mine - I don't have to look at the front of my face.

I think I look nicer without make up. Also I'm extremely short sighted, with lovely but very obvious glasses, so putting it on, especially eye makeup, is a huge and generally unrewarding palaver.

There is an awful lot of miscommunication in this thread.

It's a shame that all of the posters who have responded so snappily and rudely to the OP have not read the full thread properly with her subsequent comments.

It's also a shame that the OP wasn't clearer on her first post that it wasn't her that was judging- but that she felt judged.

OP I hope you are able to take on board the spirit that most people do not solely judge somebody on their appearance and therefore everybody will not be judging you. You may feel happier though if you find other places to go to / people to mix with - although I'm sure you look perfectly fine.

I remember Desmond Morris in his book Manwatching, discussed make up, mentioning red lipstick mimicking swollen labia during arousal.

PPs going on about mums in full make up on the school run, you do realise that they might be on their way to work, don't you? I had to head straight to work after dropping my son off, I certainly didn't have time to go back home to put make up on, even though it only took me about 10 minutes.

That's where the lipstick explanation comes from, thank you!

Each to their own, but I think the red circles look awful. A Lucy Worsley failing - she did dress up as Tudor maids so no lipstick, ten years off and so pretty without.

I don't wear make-up, color my greying hair or shave my legs. I'm also pretty unconcerned with what clothes I've got on as long as they are warm and comfortable (unless I am meeting clients and then I wear professional work-wear and smart flat shoes). I work full time from home so no need for office-wear most of the time. I would consider my self healthy. I walk the dog daily, I don't smoke or drink too much, I eat reasonably well. I am not overweight. Today I have on jeans, a T-shirt and a black jumper. I will get round to brushing my hair before I leave the house to walk the dog later... probably.

I guess my reasoning would be why waste my time on something that isn't important to me. I am happy with how I look in my normal state, I really don't mind what first impressions people might get from me. If they can't be bothered to spend 5 minutes getting to know me a bit then they weren't worth my time in the first place.

I have a husband, kid, friends, family and am generally well liked as far as I know. No-one has ever commented on the fact that I sometimes look like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards and I wouldn't comment that they obviously wasted 30 minutes of their life this morning applying a coat of filler to their face that anyone with one eye could tell isn't their natural appearance. Why would you bother? I can tell it isn't what you really look like!

Whereas i agree most people don't judge solely on appearance, I do think as humans we do judge partially on appearance. How someone presents themselves tell us a lot about them.

I think this thread has proven it. There are many judgemental comments. And it's the exact same as other threads on this subject, the most judgemental and rude comments have been from women who don't wear make up against those that do. Those repetive images being posted for example were ridiculous and not something I've ever seen in real life.

For me, the need to attack others on their appearance, indicates a lack of self confidence. I wear make up. I shall continue to wear make up as and when I please. I don't need to attack others or slag them off for not doing so, I don't give a shit. If I felt the need to attack them, I'd look at myself and wonder why.

I see wearing make up as no different to dying your hair, or wearing certain clothes, be it control underwear, clothes that skim and flatter or clothes that enhance what we personally believe to be our good points.

The fact men normally don't wear make up or dye their hair is irrelevant to me. It will not influence my decision on what I do. I do not wear make up due to some sociatable expectation, I wear it because I want to. I like it. That's my choice as a human. And if someone doesn't like it, I give not a shit as for me, that dislike says more about them than me.

I wouldn't comment that they obviously wasted 30 minutes of their life this morning applying a coat of filler to their face that anyone with one eye could tell isn't their natural appearance

And this proves my point, you started off well then resorted to a bitchy attack. You know full well it doesn't take most women 30 mins to put some make up on and you also must know it's not a "coat of filler". But you couldn't stop yourself attacking.

If you're so happy with yourself, why do you need to do that?

I think sometimes there is an element of laziness..certainly with some of the people I know.
I'm not a fan of make up, definitely less is more...and I don't think it matters either way, as a person's beauty really does shine from within..but sometimes I see people who really just don't seem to care, in an almost lazy arrogant kind of way?? For instance my SIL could be attractive...but she is so defiantly boring with her appearance. She always dresses like an ageing rambler...and I mean ALWAYS. For example...she has turned up to special occasions, dressed in Elasticated pale brown canvas pants and open toed brown leather sandals with socks. And just has this overly laid back air that screams...can't be arsed! Her hair is mousey lank and long and she wears it flat on her face in a hugely unflattering way. I used to think it was an antipodeam back pack traveller thing, but quickly came to realise she is always like that. She just seems quite 'lazy' about everything. Doesn't exercise, sleeps 12 hours a day..and has no energy or spark for anything. Yet she's also quite arrogant, so it's a bit of a conundrum, and I really struggle to see any beauty from within or out

Time for some Roald Dahl:

“A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.”

i'm envious that they've the confidence to not care.

I’m not sure its laziness that’s the reason I don’t do too much extra to maximize how I look. I just don’t like the made up look. I excersise, I get my hair done and I wear nice cloths but I don’t want to spend anymore time on my appearance. I’m sure I could find nicer clothes if I looked but I don’t like shopping so I stick to nice but same’y clothing. I’m in my 50s and I’ve never bothered with makeup. I believe one of the main reasons I don’t overly fuss with my appearance it that I think I’m quite attractive. I’m slim and healthy, I have great skin and I think I’m pretty. (At least my Mum and my Husbamd tell me I am 😉)

When asked her opinion on clothes my nan would always say 'If it's clean and paid for it's good enough"
I have found myself saying the same thing to ddand to myself.

Well, that's me judged.
What a nice post that isn't, op.

I wouldn't comment that they obviously wasted 30 minutes of their life this morning applying a coat of filler to their face that anyone with one eye could tell isn't their natural appearance

I got out of the bath at 8:05 this morning, had a coffee, blow dried my hair, applied my makeup and was at the door ready to leave by 8:25. It doesn't take me half an hour just to apply makeup. It takes me 10 minutes for a full face, less if I'm being lazy and sticking with bb cream, mascara, cream bronze and lipgloss.

I'd have been ready quicker but my hair wasn't playing nice this morning. I also don't use any 'filler'. If I'm going out, I use primer, but it's quite heavy for an everyday look and I'm prone to spots.

I think people who take care of their appearance are perceived as more competent, as good self care suggests good self esteem.
I admit I feel slightly repulsed by people who have greasy hair or visible dandruff, oily skin, bad breath or body odour. And I would feel less respect for somebody who turned up to work in grubby clothes or an outfit that didn't fit or flatter.

It doesn't take much effort to shower, brush your teeth, get a good haircut and use products that suit your skin. And put a bit of time into choosing clothes that fit well and highlight your best parts.

I wear light make up everyday. I review my wardrobe often and get rid of things that don't fit or suit me, or clothes that look old and tired. I've worked out which skincare I need to prevent shine and which foundation is a perfect colour match. I eat healthily and exercise.

Oops posted too soon! I also think 'making an effort' isn't just how long you spend on your appearence each day. It's about researching, planning and experimenting with clothes, skincare, hair styles etc so you look well groomed with minimal daily effort. About taking care of your clothes (washing, ironing, de-bobbling etc). Keeping shoes repaired and polished. Threading your eyebrows regularly.

I see women at work wearing thick orange make up and clumpy mascara, with elaborate hairstyles that must have taken an hour with the curling tongs. Spending a long time on your face/hair every day doesn't mean 'making an effort' in my opinion!

Why do you care so much about what other people care about? surely you have your own life?

I just have better things to do than research mascara. I would rather wear no makeup than cake myself up.
Lippy, eyeliner, mascara when in office. That's pretty much it.
I pull my greying hair into the dreaded ponytail because I can't get to the hairdresser as regularly as I probably should.
My 10 year old loves make up and I encourage her to experiment if she wants.

I don't wear make up very often because it makes my face hurt.

I wear comfortable clothes because I've usually got a shit load to do and cba to be worrying about my fancy gladrags on top of it all. I just don't have the mental energy at all for that.

I'm clean, I'm reasonably well groomed (my nails are kept tidy, my hair is clean and trimmed and brushed etc)

I think people who dress up every day have their priorities in a bit of a muddle tbh but then each to their own. It's nothing to do with me and effects me in no way whatsoever so doesn't bother me in the slightest. (except for the odd overly perfumed one, those can make me feel a bit queasy. Still, better than b.o)

OMG! Has no-one else read OP's last post to which I replied 12.15 yesterday and Motoko at 13.13?

24/3, 17.06, last post from OP, explains a lot. She needs our support!

Wow!! Only ready this last page, gone from the red lip =red labia to dressed up woman as prioritised wrong.

I couldn't care less what other people wear or dint wear. I like fashion and clothes but have not partaken in any for a good decade.

I wore no make up wore a tracksuit.. I have made effort again recently because I'm over FORTY and old age looming.. My dh loves me anyway.. But I wear basic make up, die my grey hair.. I feel better for it..

OneStep

I agree with you on hygiene and cleanliness. That is a basic courtesy to others when using public spaces. Plus it’s healthier, of course.

But for the rest...putting a bit of effort into choosing clothes (what if I have no sense of style?) Threading eyebrows? No. There’s nothing wrong with my eyebrows.

As for researching, planning and experimenting- eh? I don’t want to! I prefer to spend my time on other things.

My daily activities requires me to wear Lycra and wear my hair in a ponytail. I sweat a lot so I also don’t tend to wear make up as it only ends up running off my chin.