People who don't make an effort with their appearance.

[User247]

What do you think of people who don't do anything to look attractive?

I don't mean washing and basic hygiene. I mean those who don't dress well, wear make up or keep themselves healthy.

Why don't people want to be pleasant to look at?

I think you work with seriously shallow people OP, personally if you feel ok within yourself does it really matter what other ppl think!
I couldn't give a toss what other ppl think of me and never have (and never will).
Mix with better people would be my advice.

Because I don't have time! (or money)!

I assume you are either a v rich SAHM or you don't have kids OP

I make zero effort with my appearance make up wise.

Because I don't need it.

I always have clean hair (tied up) clean teeth and freshly washed face. But that's it.

Op there's more to life than putting make up on.

Read a book.

I think this is simply about people being very different. I have never been very interested in appearance. It may be because I have been 6'1 since the age of 14 and overweight with it, or it may just be the way I am (which then helped me cope with my size). I can honestly go for days without looking in a mirror. Sometimes I will find a fully formed skin tag around my eye that I was not even aware had started to develop! I have 2 teenage daughters who LOVE makeup/fake eyelashes the works and they despair of me! I am a very content person though and someone who truly believes that it is what is on the inside that counts. I have a good job and am well liked and respected and will always be clean with hair tied back and perfume on ......just not into make up or current fashion.

I don’t feel the need to always wear make up or fancy clothes.....

Because I want to be judged on me. So that means my qualities, how I treat others, things I’m good at, things I’m bad at and how I handle myself.....
this is my filter. Anyone who doesn’t want to know me because I’m not pleasant to look at, can go piss off.

The health reason is different. I do generally look after my health/eat well, because I value my health for my dc amongst other reasons.

But some people don’t lead a health lifestyle because they don’t know how to lead a healthy lifestyle, they can’t afford to, they have disabilities that limit their activity, or they don’t give a shit about their health. And this is entirely their prerogative so good on them.

Not that any of these reasons are anything to do with you.
I don’t know what’s worse being smug, or a nosy Parker

With the obvious caveats about how anyone who genuinely judges people on the basis of how much effort they've taken to look attractive is a twat out of the way...

I think the time and effort you spent on this waxes and wanes according to your priorities.

When I had a newborn and was lucky to get three hours sleep a night, when my marriage was on the rocks and I was struggling to hold my job down, it was basically as much as I could do to wash. I made no effort at all with my wardrobe, other than to be clean and wore minimal makeup.

Now I have a high-pressure, professional job where being groomed is fairly important, am a lone parent and am beginning to get my social (and dating) life back, I take quite a lot of pleasure in self-adornment. I've been through a pretty rough two/three years with a divorce, bereavement and various other dramas and kept my shit together and have now come out the other side. Looking really well-presented and as attractive as possible is not only fairly important for work but psychologically has helped me feel that I am in control of my life. It does matter to me personally because its my way of showing to myself and the world that what I've been through recently hasn't destroyed me.

But I would never presume to judge anyone for whom it was less of a priority. In some ways I am impressed by people who have the balls to say screw it, I'm not going to have you judge me on my looks, I will be judged on what's inside.

Why is so many people’s response to this either (1) to make excuses as to why they don’t put effort into their appearance, or (2) to do themselves down and make comments about they’re so ugly it’s not worth bothering? Get a grip people. Or should I say get a grip women, as I bet that’s what you all are. You’re so conditioned into being judged by appearance. Stand up and shout out how wrong that is. Be yourself au naturel. Be completely made up beyond all recognition. Be whatever you want to be. But do it for yourself, not for anyone else, and particularly not for some random stranger who chooses to judge you.

I think makeup is ugly. I think natural, comfortable and casual = attractive.

I think makeup is attractive and I think no makeup is attractive. I don't see the need to pit one against the other.

I'm too beautiful. If I wore make up and made an effort all my friends husbands would fancy me and it would cause problems in my friend's marriages. So I don't make an effort out of kindness.

Fruitcorner are you Samantha Brick?

I don’t wear makeup or dress up, my permanent “look” is bedhair and trackies/jeans/ or football shorts. I just have zero interest in fashion/makeup and I like the clothes I wear as they’re comfortable, so why would I spend time and money on something that I wouldn’t even enjoy doing.

no idea who Samantha Brick is but she's clearly not a patch on me.

On a more serious note OP an so sorey your exDP is a shit

Samantha Brick is a fucking EPIC troll. OP has nothing on her.

I don't really think about them at all.

I wear make-up, blow dried hair, smart clothes etc for college and work. On a weekend, I wear jeans that are too big for me, old t-shirts and unwashed hair scraped into a ponytail.

I'm the same person, worthy of the same respect on a Sunday as I am on a Monday morning.

Make-up and hair is a costume, it's fun to play with, if you're into that, but it doesn't change who you are inside. I'd much rather judge a person on how they treat me than what they wear or how well their eyeliner is applied. People who think otherwise confuse me.

If I came across someone regularly unwashed and scruffy in appearance, I'd assume depression, having suffered it myself. My judgement would end there.

I dont have the kind of job that I need to look 'pretty' , my appearance doesn't stop me doing my job to my best abilities. I would rather spend the money I've saved on my hobbies and charitable giving. I like people for who they are, not for what they look like.

Good grief are you serious?! It's really none of your business how people dress, how does it affect you in any way whatsoever. Apart from that, they may not afford new stuff all the time, they may have a chronic illness or it might just not be a priority.

most people are shallow so you kind of have to conform right

Nope.

I tell my 4 year old that people that judge others are sad inside. Are you sad inside OP?

I never wear make up, don't even own any, and haven't since my teens. 95% of the time I'm in jeans and a t-shirt. It's comfortable, practical, and I'm not trying to impress anyone so it suits me just fine! DH would probably think I was having an affair if I suddenly started dressing up, it certainly doesn't bother him that I don't 'make an effort' every day

I figure that if someone is going to make a judgement based purely on how I look without making any effort to know me, I'll probably be better off without them in my life anyway.

I mind my own business; for some it’s a choice, for others not so.

People in glass houses...

Seriously

I'm very much about effort with my appearance as it's something I enjoy, but believe each to their own & totally respect personal choice. If I need to run out without my lipstick & hair done, so be it, not a big deal & I would never judge others who prefer a more take me as you find me approach.

I would judge someone very harshly who feels they can judge others for their personal style choices though, be that over or under doing it. Get a bloody life🙄

RTFT people, it's not OP making the judgement. She is being being judged by her ex and is seeking reassurance that his opinion is unusual.

OP, my ex used to be the same. He controlled all the money and treated me appallingly. As a result, a) couldn't afford to make an effort and b) just didn't give a shit, I was so miserable.

I remember sitting with him and his family in an airport, fully made-up with a brazilian blow-dry and fancy clothes and him going on and on about how I should always make the same effort instead of lounging around in misshapen jeans and sweaters with my 'bad skin' on show. He'd only allowed me new clothes and make-up because we went shopping with SIL and SIL invited me to the hairdresser with her. It sunk in, that day, that his goal was to belittle and humiliate me to keep me in my place and it wouldn't have mattered what I wore, or how 'pretty' I looked, he'd have found a way to put me down.

Fast forward a few years and he still tries it, even though we're not together anymore and my new career kind of demands I make an effort (I'm training in the beauty industry). If there is anything wrong with my hair or make-up, he will fall over himself to comment on it. Last time, it was grey roots coming through. He still tells the children I smell and don't have good hygiene and asks them if anyone at work has mentioned it If he finds out I'm going to a job interview, he'll email me to remind to wear clean clothes, bathe, clean my teeth and cover my 'bad skin' and 'grey hair'.

The problem is not with me, it is with him and nothing I do or don't do will change his opinion. The same applies to your ex. If he wasn't picking on your appearance, it would be something else. Don't give him any headspace. Normal people, the kind of people you want in your life, don't think like your ex, as demonstrated on this thread.

I love my comfort too much to slab on makeup constantly and wear ‘pretty’ clothes. My outfits aren’t dull but they defiantly center around my comfort!

If a person is clean and tidy, one presumes they are happy with their lot and that's wonderful.
The ones who seemingly can't stop 'looking after their looks' are often to be pitied, though.
Layers and layers of make-up, cracking or sliding south, scent so powerful to make hyacints wilt, hair extended to the next county and nails that could cut cheese. Scary and sad at the same time.
As in all things, good taste and moderation are to be envied.

Because I like to be comfortable, and I dont care what anyone else thinks!

I do exercise though, but I'd rather slum it out in hoodies and jeans with a bare face. In fact, a lot of the time, people don't realise I don't wear makeup.