To not lend money to a "friend"

[littletykeboy]

I have a friend who is struggling,

I say "friend" because in the past year I've seen her once and not heard from her at all, only if I message first.

About 18 months ago we were quite close and I loaned her £80, she hasn't repaid this.

Now today she's messaged me saying she's got an eviction on the house, she's got a solicitor who has made an agreement that she needs to pay £250 by Monday and then £137 every week.

She said she now has a job but doesn't get her first pay until Wednesday.

Then she had said she is short £80 for the £250 due Monday.

And asked if I can lend it to her and then sent her bank details through, telling me I'll get it back Wednesday.

What do I do? Would I be unreasonable to say no? She has a 4 year old son and is single, but we're trying to save to move as we're in a bit of a situation ourselves and I can't afford to "lend" £80 as I can't afford to lose that money. But then I see her losing her home :/

Please don't. If her situation is true, it's a desperate one. Don't add to her stress.

well done OP

Wonko are you the OPs "friend"? If so this is a good opportunity to reflect on what happens when you fail to repay your friends.... they lose trust and dont lend you amymore. Next time start paying even of its only a pound week.

IamWonko you don't really sound like a good friend to the op, if you are her. Only contacting her when you want something, that is not what friends do. You sound more like acquaintances than friends. Really instead of asking for more money from her, which you have no intention of paying back, you should have saved some money aside to pay her what you owe first. That is not the mark of a friend.

@wonka I know you're not here, typing style, other things that are blatantly obvious

Sorry @IAmWonkoTheSane

I don't know that I would loan that sort of friend money tbh.

I'd certainly ask for the 80 back

Message her back that you hope she gets something sorted but can she please pay what she owes you when she gets paid Wed because as you said money is tight at the moment and you’re also moving and really need it. She probably won’t pay you back but worth a try. And there’s no friendship to lose anymore imo if she only gets in touch when she wants cash!

Don’t let people on here egg you on to doing something you wouldn’t usually.

You absolutely shouldn’t have lent it. And you were well within your rights to remind her about what she owes you, but don’t harangue her unless you’re sure you won’t feel bad about it further along. Especially if you hear she’s been evicted!

Why is there always some weirdo who pretends to be someone involved.

I’d say haranguing is sending your bank details! The op is well within her rights to request her money back 18 months later. Not that she’ll get it since her friend has more front than Brighton pier!

No way I'd lend 80 quid to someone who is not really a friend

If she had paid up her last loan this would be a no brainier, but as it is she is just being cf. she is desperate and playing on your emotions. It’s her problem, not yours.

Tell her you just don’t have any spare cash to hand and remind her that she didn’t pay her last ‘loan’ which you actually need, but you realise she isn’t in a position to pay you back yet.

Please make sure you ask for the money back that she already owes you . I have helped my friends out many times with loans etc and some have took the piss but most have paid me back . As Iv got older Iv learned you can't trust everyone and you have to make a judgement of character as to who is really in need of help and who is pulling a fast one . This friend of yours op sure sounds like she is bullshitting you and the 80 quid is for something else

Don't do it. She has only asked you as all her closer friends that she sees more than once a year have refused, and that's probably because she owes them all already

IAmWonkoTheSane

poor you... but that was funny

Cheeky cow! If you've messaged to remind her yet again about the £80 she already owes you ( I know you said you'd written it off in your mind,but it is the perfect excuse to try and get it back, Although unlikely) I doubt she'll mention it,if she does reply to that it will be a guilt trip " you know I'm struggling, I can't afford to pay that back blah blah blah" then your answer will be cemented that she never had any intention on paying any money back

But then you know that, and you definitely made the right decision not to loan it

Oh and well done OP for your original message. I hate confrontation but I'd have done the exact same :)

Well she replied saying "hopefully next month" but we'll see

Haha @IAmWonkoTheSane that is funny! All forgiven hahaha