To not lend money to a "friend"

[littletykeboy]

I have a friend who is struggling,

I say "friend" because in the past year I've seen her once and not heard from her at all, only if I message first.

About 18 months ago we were quite close and I loaned her £80, she hasn't repaid this.

Now today she's messaged me saying she's got an eviction on the house, she's got a solicitor who has made an agreement that she needs to pay £250 by Monday and then £137 every week.

She said she now has a job but doesn't get her first pay until Wednesday.

Then she had said she is short £80 for the £250 due Monday.

And asked if I can lend it to her and then sent her bank details through, telling me I'll get it back Wednesday.

What do I do? Would I be unreasonable to say no? She has a 4 year old son and is single, but we're trying to save to move as we're in a bit of a situation ourselves and I can't afford to "lend" £80 as I can't afford to lose that money. But then I see her losing her home :/

Everything has already been said but never mix money and friendships.
If someone's really desperate and you want to help them, give don't lend.

A solicitor will be prepared to wait a few days, they frequently sort out payment plans for clients, I know from experience. Mine was brilliant letting me have a short term plan when I was divorcing and had to remortgage. And didn't charge me interest either.

Would she loan money to you? Doubt it.

Honestly the cheek of some people.
You loaned her money before which she hasn't repaid, yet now she's back with her begging bowl.
Don't give her any more. She is not your responsibility.

Why on earth do people text with things like this? Surely if desperate and in need of help a phone call would be a better option (misses point of thread)

If you are saving to move and she hasn't paid you back before, and you rarely hear from her, don't you think she's using you? You say that £100 would be difficult to loan, then don't do it. YANBU.

I’d reply saying you’re short and were hoping she could repay the £80 she owes you. You’ll never hear from her again.

She didn't repay the last loan ... that would be enough for me. If she had paid back last time I'd say absolutely help her if you could afford it... but someone you barely talk to (where you always initiate communication) I would politely decline x

My Dad would say it's probably worth £80 to rid yourself of her for good

You have to wonder what sort of nation we live in when a single mum with a four year old child faces eviction and possible homelessness. Sadly she is probably not the only person in this situation. The housing crisis is leaving thousands vulnerable to uncontrolled rents and accommodation which is not fit for human habitation. I care about this and I would help her. She wouldn’t ask if she wasn’t desperate. I hope she has her name down for social rented housing, but it can be a long wait.

You have to wonder what sort of nation we live in when a single mum with a four year old child faces eviction and possible homelessness.

You can give as much money as you wish to some people, and they would still end up in debt! It's nothing to do with the quality of accommodation provided.

There was an interesting program about pawn brokers, some being used only by so called "rich" people.

If no one ever faced eviction, why bother paying rent, and how would landlords survive?

If someone had not repaid me £80 I lent had lent them a year before, I would no longer be friends with them. I would not even contemplate this second loan.

I had lent them ....

I really don't like that she immediately sent through her bank details thats really presumptious. I agree as others have said, she only seems to contact you when she wants something. I agree that something like "sorry to hear things are tough but I really cannot help you" if you wany to be honest you could add "I seem to only hear from you when you need money and you still haven't paid back the £80 I leant you before" - it shows you have not forgotten and she cannot presume

There's been a lot of these threads recently.

If they don't pay you back and don't mention why, then don't lend again and also consider whether they are really your friend or perhaps they see you as a bank.

if she had paid the last loan back i would. but in this situation i would say no last time i lent you money i never saw it again and i havent got it to loose. tbh i wouldnt give a monkeys if she never spoke to me again either. and i would be the same if it was my best friend who i have been friends with 28 years (since she was born and i was almost 3. our mums were best friends) im a honest person with a heart of gold but i am no bloody mug

I wouldnt because she didnt repay the £80 you lent her before. I would give her nothing, but if you feel bad give it to her but know you won't get it back

This!

No way would i lend her a penny. She is using you..

She has asked for £80 because she has figured that this is the maximum you can be tapped for. It's nothing to do with her rent. I suspect drugs, gambling, or debt with someone disreputable. She is probably tapping up other people

You have to wonder what sort of nation we live in when a single mum with a four year old child faces eviction and possible homelessness.

you have no idea why this person is facing homelessness, or even if she is? for all we know she's lying or she wants to spend it on drugs or anything

She has a 4 year old - and a 21 year old then? Who does the 21 year old sponge off, doesn't she have a job either?

Just say no. It is better for her as you will not have to despise her for lying to you or being weak.

Say no - where will it end? Unless you can easily afford to loose the £80.00? Or another option is to say have the £80.00 but you aren’t able to lend anymore, sorry... Good Luck with it all xx

"She wouldn’t ask if she wasn’t desperate"

I suspect CF are very likely to ask, more so than folk who are genuinely desperate but trying their best to cope.

Bit of a CF sending her bank details presuming you would send her the money.
Don't do it. I bet she's got other people she can ask