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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DS stabbed DD in the head with a fork. Normal sibling stuff?

176 replies

whereverialaymyhat · 23/03/2018 22:07

DS (7) stabbed DD (5) in the head with a fork at the dinner table.

I didn't see it, but her head was bleeding when I came into the kitchen. They fight like cat and dog and it's usually six of one and half of a dozen anyway, so I told him to say sorry and dinner carried on.

Told DH just now when he got in from the pub and he think it's terrible and not normal.

But I think all siblings fight and they're only little. AIBU?

OP posts:
NotTheMrMenAgain · 24/03/2018 09:04

My DH and his DSis are in their 40's. There's a family story about how she once stabbed him in the hand with a fork at the dining table. I don't know if there was gushing blood, or if there was a punishment - but I suppose kids sometimes do these stupid things?!

My sister in law is a lovely person, one of the nicest you could meet, she does lots of things to help us out and has a nice, supportive relationship with DH. So there is hope.

My DB never stabbed me with a fork but he's still an arsehole@

Dancingmonkey87 · 24/03/2018 09:07

This is something my dbro would have done he was abusive to me simply for existing my whole childhood. My dm put it down to kids just being kids but it wasn’t this was full but on bullying. This was no normal behaviour op. What if he caught her eye?

Thebluedog · 24/03/2018 09:08

Mine have never stabbed each other with a fork, but the frequently throw stuff, bite, pull hair, slap, punch and pinch each other. It drives me batshit. I can’t keave them together unattended. I now shower when they are at school because as soon as I get into the bathroom they are at each other

Steeley113 · 24/03/2018 09:12

Pushing, shoving, smacking - yes, normal sibling stuff (which should still be dealt with). Stabbing Confused not normal and I’d be doing a very serious consequence for it.

xyla589 · 24/03/2018 09:12

Fighting? Slapping? Hitting? Yes normal.

Using sharp implements? Drawing blood? Stabbing? Not at all normal.

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 24/03/2018 09:13

Mine had a spat over pancakes this morning which resulted in punches being thrown-weapons I'd be more concerned about but I would imagine the fork was just to hand when she pissed him off rather than a calculated attack...
Perhaps a more severe punishment than a telling off is needed to make sure he realises it's unacceptable.

runningoutofjuice · 24/03/2018 09:14

Op, if your ds was stabbed in the head with a fork at lunchtime at school and was bleeding etc, would you be quite happy that all the perp had to do was say sorry?

Skarossinkplunger · 24/03/2018 09:16

That’s a non-accidental injury that as a school safeguarding lead I would be required to report to children’s social
care. (If it was an isolated incident I wouldn’t expect them to do anything about it, but I would still have to report it)

HadronCollider · 24/03/2018 09:17

I think its normal. My brother and I used to get physical - once I hit him with a toy snooker stick so hard it broke. I was a real bitch of a sister and he was horrible too. He once shared my private diary with all of his friends!!! We used to play along too and share humour, but we were both highly strung. We are now completely civilized. The humour and friendship has survived. Fear not OP.

NutElla5x · 24/03/2018 09:17

Did he seem generally sorry and concerned at what he'd done or was he as blase as you seem to be? Your answer would determine how I punished him but I definitely would be giving him some sort of punishment as he is old enough to know better and it is your job to teach him right from wrong and also to protect your daughter.

BlondeB83 · 24/03/2018 09:18

Shocking and not normal! If there is a mark you need to inform school as it will be red flag when they ask your DD about it. They may be able to offer your son some help.

Skarossinkplunger · 24/03/2018 09:21

BlondeB83 makes a good point. I’d speak to school and explain the mark before school spoke to me about it.

mrspicklepants27 · 24/03/2018 09:26

Even my 5 year old feisty little madam wouldnt dream of stabbing anyone with anything! She winds her big brother up til we're all blue in the face, but this sort of behavior just isn't normal at all.

ChameleonsInCarsGettingCoffee · 24/03/2018 09:27

I used to be the younger sister in this scenario. FFS protect her.

It's very dangerous ground to teach a vulnerable female that it was "six of one and half a dozen of the other" and that the physical injury she received is half her fault.

Is that a mentality that you want for her in her future adult relationships?

youarenotkiddingme · 24/03/2018 09:30

Stabbing someone is not 6 of 1, 1/2 dozen of the other.

It's assault.

In 3 years time he'll be criminally responsible for actions like this. Sorry won't cut it then.

coffeecoffeemorecoffee · 24/03/2018 09:35

My 4 year old wouldn't dream of doing this. She also knows how I'd react if she did, with pure fury. That's not ok, if "sorry" was the only consequence for stabbing his sister then what's next?

Ski40 · 24/03/2018 09:38

Would you be so cool about it if he had got her in an eye with that fork? That could have had very serious consequences. 7 is quite old and he should know right from wrong. I have a 7 year old and he sometimes attacks my 3 year old if they are fighting over a toy etc, but never in such a brutal way. If he ever did I would address the cause of such aggresive behaviour and he would be banned from tv, games etc until he behaved like a civilised person again. That is not acceptable and you should be concerned about it. How could you trust him around her again? If you let it go, will it be a knife next? Good luck. I know it's hard work xx

AsAProfessionalFekko · 24/03/2018 09:38

Where's the op? A&E!

ZoeWashburne · 24/03/2018 09:41

YABVVVVVU!

There is no such thing as a ‘light stabbing’! I can’t believe you dismissed it as such. If a child is getting to the point of anger where they are taking everyday objects and stabbing people, they need help. You also taught your daughter if she is hurt by someone she loves he just has to say sorry and forget about it.

You need to get to the root of why things are escalating this much. If they are fighting like cats and dogs it’s because you aren’t enforcing boundaries.

PositivelyPERF · 24/03/2018 10:27

AsAProfessionalFekko

Where's the op? A&E!

Probably busy typing away it’s story for whatever rag it’s writing for.

SparklyMagpie · 24/03/2018 10:32

Was going to comment but see the OP hasn't returned, or maybe her son stabbed her with a spoon?

NutElla5x · 24/03/2018 10:33

AsAProfessionalFekko She's forked off.

magoria · 24/03/2018 10:33

A simple sorry is not enough.

You have just taught your DD that a bigger stronger (male) person can harm her and get away with a mealy mouth apology and nothing else.

You have just taught your DS he can stab someone younger/female and get away with a sorry.

What if next time it is a sharper object or knife, or she turns her head at the wrong time and he catches her eye.

This was beyond a simple sibling fight your H is right.

DullAndOld · 24/03/2018 10:35

" She's forked off." Grin

oh for gods sake a light head stabbing with cutlery is quite normal!

Anditstartsagain · 24/03/2018 10:38

Not normal at all I have a zero tolerance policy in physical violence I can't understand why anyone thinks it's acceptable to let siblings hurt each other at all it's crazy.