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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DS stabbed DD in the head with a fork. Normal sibling stuff?

176 replies

whereverialaymyhat · 23/03/2018 22:07

DS (7) stabbed DD (5) in the head with a fork at the dinner table.

I didn't see it, but her head was bleeding when I came into the kitchen. They fight like cat and dog and it's usually six of one and half of a dozen anyway, so I told him to say sorry and dinner carried on.

Told DH just now when he got in from the pub and he think it's terrible and not normal.

But I think all siblings fight and they're only little. AIBU?

OP posts:

Keepingupwiththejonesys · 23/03/2018 22:14

Not normal at all. I've a 5&3 year old and they fight but not like that. They argue and at the very worst we've had a push and are really in trouble for that. Stabbing isn't normal at all ffs

Birdshitbridgegotme · 23/03/2018 22:14

Yes siblings fight... my children fight all the time but no way would my 7 yr old do that to anyone let alone his sibling

Gingerninj · 23/03/2018 22:16

If your DS is often getting angry and doing violent things then you might want to either talk to him or take him to the doctors. But if this kind of thing has never happened before than I wouldn't worry. I can remember digging my nails into my siblings hands and throwing my food at them when I got frustrated with them. My family thought I had "issues" for a while but I grew out of it in a short amount of time. I only did it because it was simply the first thing that came to mind and I didn't know how to control myself at the time. Maybe your DS happened to have it in his hand at the time but I would keep an eye and talk to him about this if I were you

GayAllen · 23/03/2018 22:16

He made her bleed and just had to say sorry??

Are you stark raving MAD?!?!

supermariossister · 23/03/2018 22:17

I wouldnt say it is normal, he needs to be punished and spoken to about what happened, i have three who can bicker like nobodys buisness but they know not to phsyically hurt each other. Im with your partner on this one you were far too soft.

upsideup · 23/03/2018 22:17

I dont think its normal or at least okay for kids to physically fight and cause injury to anyone after the age of like 2, I definately wouldnt respond to my 8 year old stabbing his sibling till she drew blood with 'say sorry' and then continue dinner.
I wouldnt even respond to my 3 year old doing it like that

MadMags · 23/03/2018 22:18

AthenaAshton · 23/03/2018 22:18

OP, "I didn't see it" is another dimension here. Which child told you this? Blood was obviously shed, but it is very hard to know exactly what went on. And I don't mean this critically - mine (same age gaps - boy first) would probably have been capable of this if they had been in that situation and if I had turned my back for a fraction of a second...

CotswoldStrife · 23/03/2018 22:19

This can't be real? You think it's OK for your son to stab someone with a fork?

Faez · 23/03/2018 22:19

Brings back horrible memories of my brother physically abusing me on a regular basis and my parents saying "6 of one half a dozen of the other" and "you push his buttons, you know what he's like...". I lived in fear and still have scars. Nip this in the bud and don't let your daughter believe she is deserving of this treatment.

TeaforTiger · 23/03/2018 22:19

Just shocking! Your poor DD, she was stabbed in head

My DS would have been spending the night elsewhere if possible. I couldn't let my DD think that was ok.

You really just carried on with dinner??

Manupprincess · 23/03/2018 22:19

No. Not normal at all.

What would your reaction be if a school friend did the same thing? Most parents would be absolutely fuming and expect serious consequences.

Maybe you need to have a think about what has become normal in your house and see if you are really comfortable with it? Sometime a situation can creep up on you, things getting gradually a little worse and it's hard to realise where you are.

pilates · 23/03/2018 22:20

😲 absolutely not normal

lougle · 23/03/2018 22:20

Umm..... No. I thought we were fairly extreme in the violence stakes, tbh. We have 3DDs, 12,10, 8, and 2 of the 3 have conflicting SNs.

We have pinching, shoving, scratching and occasional biting that does not draw blood. I think of that as dreadful, and it warrants the banning of electronics, etc.

Stabbing with a fork in the head a drawing blood???? That would be a drastic new low in our family, and I would be asking for additional help, on top of the help I already seek.

LadySainsburySeal · 23/03/2018 22:22

Where is OP?

OneFineDaye · 23/03/2018 22:22

You made him say, 'sorry', for stabbing his sister in the head with a fork? . If that were my dc, when i've finished with him, he will run in the opposite direction if ever saw a fork again. 'Sorry'? What he did was extremely vicious and dangerous.

AlpacaLypse · 23/03/2018 22:22

Poking, clobbering or pinching while mum's not looking. Normal. Stabbing with a pointy thing, like a fork, not normal. Riot Act now.

colditz · 23/03/2018 22:23

I'm quite blase about small-child thrashing each other behaviour because mine were like chimps at this age, but stabbing someone with a fork is very dangerous, especially in the head.

You need to be a bit more serious managing this behaviour. I'd have sent him to his room for the rest of the day, dinner finished or not, he'd have not come down again.

Doobedoobedoobedoobedoobe · 23/03/2018 22:23

Absolutely not normal not ok and in no way acceptable.

Sometimes I wonder how there is so much violence in the world. Then people excuse a 7 year old drawing blood from a sibling with "they're only little"

Assuming this is legit you need to come down hard and fast. In no way should this behaviour be excused.

WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo · 23/03/2018 22:23

No. I was awful to my sister as a child. I'm deeply ashamed of it now. But even I would have drawn the line at stabbing her with a fork. What if he had caught her eye?! She could have been permanently injured. It's likely just a case of him getting seriously carried away, but he needs to know that he has crossed a line. And your daughter needs to know you will protect her.

Witchend · 23/03/2018 22:24

It is not normal.
However the Op wasn't there.

There are lots of possibilities that don't involve him stabbing her on purpose. He may have lashed out-yes he shouldn't, but let's not pretend that 7yos don't, with the fork in his hand. She may have tripped towards him etc.

When me and dsis were about that age, dsis hit me and made my nose bleed. I remember dm saying that she'd never had either of us cause damage to each other before.
I played up to that. The sweet innocent little injured sister. Actually I remember that I was being as irritating as I could be, and actually I had (accidently) moved into the punch that probably (or usually was) designed to make me jump backwards without touching me.

Yes, I'd read him the riot act. Point out how dangerous it is. Consequences, yes, more than saying "sorry".

I'm not a personal fan of saying "sorry" then carrying on for quite major (which I'd count this as) issues. I think it teaches children nothing about being sorry being important and just that if they say "sorry" afterwards they can do what they like and it doesn't matter.

Happymummy1991 · 23/03/2018 22:25

Wtaf am I reading here?
No that is not normal and neither was your reaction! Stabbing his sister in the head with a fork deserves a lot more than just "say sorry". That is really serious and no way should you just carry on with dinner and not deal with it properly.

WannaBeWonderWoman · 23/03/2018 22:26

Did you even get your DD's side of the story as to how it happened?

Poor kid.

Totally unacceptable, not to mention it being a younger sibling. Not normal 7 year old behaviour (and I'm on my 4th) unless it was accidental, as in swiped the air with fork in hand.

I would discuss it calmly tomorrow asking him why he did it and does he know how much damage it can cause.

MsHomeSlice · 23/03/2018 22:26

Well don't you think you should stop them sitting together?? And maybe someone should keep a closer check on them?

I'd say you are one of those parents tbh.

oh he didn't mean it
they are only little
boys will be boys

see how that works out when he takes a breadknife to the cat next time.

SavageBeauty73 · 23/03/2018 22:28

Blimey that's pretty shocking.

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